What happened to your past AFC friends?

[Dr.Acula]

First of all, this is my first post so... Hi everyone!

I`m new to the site, i`ve been lurking around for a while, learning stuff, and one thing caught my attention : in a lot of threads, i`ve seen that pepole are complaining that their past AFC friends are holding them back from becoming successful, or that the friends have become jealous of their success.

So i`m interested if it is possible to keep the friends and be successful with chicks, or should I prepare myself for ending the friendship with them, and start looking for new friends?

 

[jamescr73]

start teaching your friends your ways if you have a problem with it. I have quite a few afc friends, and they dont hinder my ability to get women. The sad thing is that they hate on me though, and seriously, i had a friend of mine ask for my leftovers, and get mad when i refused. He seriously wanted numbers of girls that I had nexted. Seriously, whats that going to get him? The girl is going to get pissed, tell all of her friends, and next thing you know, a bunch of girls are hating on me out there. But now this "friend" of mine, is pissed because he sees me with a different girl every week, and he cant get 1 to save his life. We had a nice long talk one night, and i shared some DJ secrets with him, he didnt seem to understand anything and kept on with his ways. Like people say, you can lead a camel to water, but you cant make him drink. I tried to help. He just wanted handouts.

 

[rrrrr]

Why do you have to end the friendship? Why not just get more friends? I realize I know a large group of buddies, they are all horrible with women! Then some friends are better with women, they tend to stick together, but it's not like a guy that's good with women can't have friends that are bad with women. I'm trying to make more friends with guys that are good with women, they tend to hang out together, probably due to the different personality type they have....

 

[DJDamage]

So i`m interested if it is possible to keep the friends and be successful with chicks, or should I prepare myself for ending the friendship with them, and start looking for new friends?

If you enjoy hanging around your friends it shouldn't matter. If your friends start to hate the "new you" and give you a hard time then it means you outgrow them and maybe its time to find some new friends.

 

[Thomas94305]

It's really a question of compatibility for me, as is always the case with friends. Friends should want me to be successful in dating. As I get better at approaching women, getting dates, etc, friends should be happy for me. My ideal is to have them sarge with me. I don't insist on that, thought.

But, if they get negative about me wanting to talk with women, then I make that an issue. I'm spending more of my time going to social activities. I find that if they won't even try this, then that gets to be an incompatibility. If they want to take our time and just devote it to hanging out in isolation, then that's not compatible with being social. I don't insist they approach women. But, I've had MANY situations when I'll invite them to something as innocuous as a church social function at a church they don't know well, and they just won't go, even though they regularly attend their own church. This just comes down to a practicality. I have limited free time. I need to devote a lot of it to socializing. If they want me to devote a lot of my free time to not socializing with new people.. then there's not enough time to do both. Me socializing is a fair thing, so I'd want them to compromise somehow. However, I can think of two classic AFC friends whom I want to stay tight with. Both have problems talking with women. But, they'll go to the social activities, and be there with me, cool with me approaching, etc.

In the end, it will mean saying bye to some AFC friends. It's not automatic, it's just discovering if the person can adapt to my growing. It's painful to find out some people cannot.

 

[BluEyes]

Ending friendships is for girls and drama queens.

If you don't particularly like somebody, or think that they're holding you back, just phase them out of your life. Don't come out and say "I don't like you" or "I don't want to chill with you anymore"...Just stop, and start doing other stuff.

Actions speak louder than words man.




But yeah, if you're friends are losers(like alot of mine), keep them as fallbacks for those boring nights, but don't get complacent.

 

[rrrrr]

Yeah, sounds like you know what's right, and have to do what's best for you. If friends are holding you back, time to move on.

 

[Dr.Acula]

Thanks for the comments guys. You helped me a lot.

 

[Jay Jay]

Hmmm

Okay, firstly can I just say that you should never ever be of the mindset that you would be prepared to sacrifice your friends to be a DJ. Either they are not "true" friends but friends by default or you have ****ed up priorities.

Anyway.

Real friends don't hold you back. So if someone is holding you back....

Jealousy?

It is true that being successful with the chicks can cause jealousy. I've been on both ends of this. I can tell you that being jealous is way worse than being envied...

So don't stress too much.

One of my biggest AFC lessons was learning how to act to preserve your friendships with your boys (ie there were the things my mates did that really cut me) and stopping jealousy being an issue.

1. Leave your ego at the door. Don't act like you are better than your boys for getting more poon. Don't boast. Don't rub it in their faces. In fact I suggest using a self mocking tone when telling them about your adventures.

2. Don't be greedy, if you are getting action then help out a brother. Throw a few babes his way.

3. Control your power. Once you get your game going the girls your AFC mates meet with will flip when they meet you. You gotta learn to make your boy look alpha and let her know that she will never ever get with you coz she's your mate's.

Trust me, its the worst when your mate who gets all the chicks suddenly has that one girl you finally managed to attract suddenly all over him (actually its even worse when he is all over her too... and don't start with all that "well he missed his chance" bull****, if you are a real man you'll know that there is plenty of girls out there without taking your friends).

4. Teach by example. Let them see how you do it. Don't boast, don't instruct, just do humbly. They will learn (if you followed all the other rules) through osmosis .

and the golden rule

5. Don't betray mates, break plans, lie or ignore your boys for chicks.

JJ

 

[Hydroblunt]

...

Very well said. Bros before hoes!
Cause when you're in a real slump, the hoes won't be there for you. And if you want to learn it the hard way, neither will your bros. Your new found selfish DJ friends like you, won't be there either, they too busy with the girls.

And if you cannot even make an effort to hook your friends up with girls, even leftovers, then I'm sorry, you're a sh*tty friend and I'm surprised they even still bother to hang out with you. One long talk means nothing, think how long it takes guys to even start getting into that frame of mind.
Let's use man logic, it works in your favor if you get them to even a half-DJ, more to go around. Of course, if they literally turn into a leech, that's another story.

The biggest p*mp I knew, frat brother alumni would ALWAYS bring to the table. Always held his boys before the hoes, even with his ultimate quote of "It's all about a$$". Always gave advice, confidence building remarks, even sometimes bring some chick to the house and call one of the brothers in to get in on the action with him. So noone was ever jealous or spiteful over the women issues, never. Even guys that did not get any from him, they respected him on that matter. Even guys that had other quarrels with him would never spite him on the DJ factor and gave him respect on it.

Think Ronnie Malko (as Jay) from "40-year old virgin" and Vince Vaugh (as Trent) from Swingers. That's the kind of friend you should be.

 

[insanity]

if your good-looking and you try and explain to your afc friends why their single they always comment "it's not hard for you cause your good-looking". afc's always use the looks card and use that as an excuse of why their single.

i always have left friends behind if they made excuses to not try and better themselves. why would i want to listen to someone complain and b@tch about their problems with women. i gave them advice and they never listened. people like that aren't worth your time and energy.

i also don't believe in the bro's before ho's. because the single bro's are usually jealous that you getting some and they always try to get you back into the single life.

they call you up and ask if you want to go to the bars with them and if you say no, they call you whipped. why in the hell would i want to go to the bar when i'm taken. i don't dance and you can't have good conversation there. and they don't let up with the whipped comment when i know that they would do the same thing.

videogames before anything is my testament.

 

[Dr.Acula]

Ok, I never wanted to sacrifice my friends for chics. I know theese guys from my childhood. Maybe I just didn`t express myself correctly (I`m from a non english speaking country). I thought that it`s a "must" to leave old friends, and I`m reliefed (sp?) that it`s not.

Btw theese rules are really helpful:

1. Leave your ego at the door. Don't act like you are better than your boys for getting more poon. Don't boast. Don't rub it in their faces. In fact I suggest using a self mocking tone when telling them about your adventures.

2. Don't be greedy, if you are getting action then help out a brother. Throw a few babes his way.

3. Control your power. Once you get your game going the girls your AFC mates meet with will flip when they meet you. You gotta learn to make your boy look alpha and let her know that she will never ever get with you coz she's your mate's.

Trust me, its the worst when your mate who gets all the chicks suddenly has that one girl you finally managed to attract suddenly all over him (actually its even worse when he is all over her too... and don't start with all that "well he missed his chance" bull****, if you are a real man you'll know that there is plenty of girls out there without taking your friends).

4. Teach by example. Let them see how you do it. Don't boast, don't instruct, just do humbly. They will learn (if you followed all the other rules) through osmosis .

and the golden rule

5. Don't betray mates, break plans, lie or ignore your boys for chicks.

I`ll try everything to keep them. Ending the friendship is the last case scenario. Thanks for the comments guys.

 

[Chemistry]

I have a wicked time with friends...

Friends are friends man... we don't always go out to pick up a chick... we'll go out to talk about guys stuff sometimes and get ****ed up... I have a bunch of DJ friends and we have a wicked time out but I'll always push my non-DJ friends forward to get their own game happening with a certain chick when I'm out with them... if they are hesitant I'll give them a little pep talk... and since they're friends I'll hook them up with chicks... I'll tell chicks to bring a friend and keep any of my AFC boys in the game... my non-DJ mates usually just sit around and admire what I do though rather than try to cash in... HB walks in and they're letting me know about it and we'll banter about her... ultimately what's important is that they're friends who won't sell me out..

I have met a few AFC dudes along the way though who have been convinced that they were on the right path when we'd meet a few chicks... I told them otherwise but they didn't listen so I just walked off, lol... I'm not getting involved in any AFC projects, lol...

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

start teaching your friends your ways if you have a problem with it. I have quite a few afc friends, and they dont hinder my ability to get women. The sad thing is that they hate on me though, and seriously, i had a friend of mine ask for my leftovers, and get mad when i refused. He seriously wanted numbers of girls that I had nexted. Seriously, whats that going to get him? The girl is going to get pissed, tell all of her friends, and next thing you know, a bunch of girls are hating on me out there. But now this "friend" of mine, is pissed because he sees me with a different girl every week, and he cant get 1 to save his life. We had a nice long talk one night, and i shared some DJ secrets with him, he didnt seem to understand anything and kept on with his ways. Like people say, you can lead a camel to water, but you cant make him drink. I tried to help. He just wanted handouts.

Many dudes just don't have what it takes to become a DJ, you can train an Elephant to run but it will still never beat a Champion Race Horse.
No advice tricks and strategies will work with some dudes, hot babes don't desire them and nothing is ever going to change that.
There are two types of AFC's, the first is the type of dawky dude who the hot babes really don't like, the second is the type of dude whom many hot babes are attracted to but they are too bigger wusses to approach and fvck them.
The first group can't ever change, the second group can. :yes:

 

[Kev07]

my afc friends are too afc, they do that whole

"oooh watch out kev07 is apimp now get out of the way"

and then it's just annoying, i can't really stand them

also my AFC friends get all emo over girls that ljbf them and they dont even know what happens, just keeps buying the girl roses and stuff. it hurts to watch.

 

[typical]

Real friends do not hold you back or put you down or make you feel like sh!t or hate on you.

If they are doing that then they are people who use others to make them selfs look and feel cool. You don't need those types of people in your life.

Out of the 30 something guys I knew from high school only about 2 or 3 of them were real friends, people who would give a arm and a leg for me the rest turned out to be people who only contacted you when they needed a favor from me.

You guys ever try to hang out with your old AFC friends, it always turns ugly, you tell one of them that some gal is eying him up and the fella doesnt have the balls to go talk to her then when you do they hate on you. They come up to you asking why some chick threw them into the friends zone you try and explain and they get pissed off at you for being a male chauvinistic pig.

Trust me you will get bored of your AFC friends sooner or later, yea they can be fun to hang out with and do normal guy stuff but as soon as the question of women comes into play its obvious your leagues ahead of them and the hating begins.

I'd much rather be alone then spend time sitting with a bunch of people that are hating on me. Get used to being alone don't fear it, you actually really don't need anybody to keep you company, yes your human and need human contact but don't be afraid to spend a few nights of the week alone by yourself.

Another thing Ive realized is that AFC friends tend to be like girls and need constant attention all the time bah give me some fu(ken space man.