What happened to "Hard to Get"??

[smokeslide]

It seems that everything you read almost anywhere these days says that if a girl doesn't immediately and automatically show some sort of obvious interest in you should forget about her and move on to someone else. I know that if that had always been the case many, many, many couples would have never hooked up.

First off, who's to say that the girl really isn't playing a game of "hard to get" and then again what if she truly doesn't have much interest in you for whatever reason, but.....you keep chasing her and finally convince her to go out with you and once you get that chance you make it work. How many people doesn't have some sort of personal experience with this scenario? It's even happened to me in reverse. A girl I wasn't that interested in initially asked me out and I turned her down but she persisted and we eventually we hooked up, fell in love and had lasted about a year.

Yet, if you we simply go by all of the dating advice we see everywhere these days everyone would ask someone out and upon receving little initial interest they would completely ignore and avoid that person and never make the effort to ask them out again. And as a result you could be missing out on something potentially special.

 

[Chewy Bagel]

Usually, when a girl shows interest right away, then she's not one of the manipulative, game-playing, professional daters out there.

IMO, when a guy has to chase a girl and convince her to date him, then the girl wears the pants in the relationship from there on.

My experience tells me that a girl with a high IL will keep your ego high, your wallet fat and give you great sex.

 

[Ice Cold]

I don't know where you got the idea that you have to ask her out at exactly that time.

If I know I'm gonna see the girl again, I just attract her.

But sometimes, at clubs or on the street, you have to chance of seeing her again.

That's when you ask her out right then and there.

Does this answer your question?

 

[Kodiac]

you keep chasing her and finally convince her to go out with you and once you get that chance you make it work

You shouldn't have to 'convince' someone to go out with you, they usually either want to go out with you or not. Usually the hard to get game comes into affect 'after' you start dating.

I agree with Chewy. In addition i think if you keep trying to convince someone to 'date' you then you are lowering your self worth and coming across as needy. The time you waist trying to persuade someone to date you you could find 3 chicks that would gladly take you up on your offer.

But i do agree to a certain extent. Don't give up straight away but don't waist too much energy on someone who doesn't show decent IL off the bat.

 

[THA REALNESS]

I agree i have zero problems playing the game ,but it does get frustating and a lot of chicks are next cuz they quite frankly don't look good enough to get chased after .


Usually i understand that i MUST approach and put a lot of effort into it even after i get the number,but i do not chase.I don't have a problem putting in the work but if she isn't giving me any signals or being vague about...she could kiss her azz goodbye.


Plus most of the time if she IS intersted in you . It won't take long for her to break after the approach,but the ones that get off on getting chased after and rejecting guy are the ones that get next with no delay so it all works out in the end.

 

[THA REALNESS]

Originally posted by smokeslide
It seems that everything you read almost anywhere these days says that if a girl doesn't immediately and automatically show some sort of obvious interest in you should forget about her and move on to someone else. I know that if that had always been the case many, many, many couples would have never hooked up.

First off, who's to say that the girl really isn't playing a game of "hard to get" and then again what if she truly doesn't have much interest in you for whatever reason, but.....you keep chasing her and finally convince her to go out with you and once you get that chance you make it work. How many people doesn't have some sort of personal experience with this scenario? It's even happened to me in reverse. A girl I wasn't that interested in initially asked me out and I turned her down but she persisted and we eventually we hooked up, fell in love and had lasted about a year.

Yet, if you we simply go by all of the dating advice we see everywhere these days everyone would ask someone out and upon receving little initial interest they would completely ignore and avoid that person and never make the effort to ask them out again. And as a result you could be missing out on something potentially special.

What about pride man and self dignity !Damn that's basically begging a chic for her attention ,....no that IS begging a chic for her attention .Beleive it or not the are more women that will show High IL right off the bat then a girl that plays hard to get .

And on top of that you aren't even really describing what playing "hard to get " means to you .. If you mean she makes eye contact then breaks or pretends your not around when you are right next to her and then blushes like a five year old when you talk to her ...That's playing hard to get ....Simple flirty ,femmine things ..Now playing "hard to get" as in doesn't return calls ,never home ,never wants to date ,...etc,etc, that is playing " i wanna get next" ..That is not cute ,that is not "hard to get".


Girls do not play "hard to get" ,they like to be approached....there is a difference.


"Convince " her to date you .......That's the "Steve Urkel " approach is right up there with the "Sam Malone " approach By AFCjobbers4life. DO NOT BECOME A PART OF MY SIG!

 

[So pimp its scary]

Personnally, I've been in situations where I would be dating 5 different girls at a time (meaning, going on a date every other day approximately with a different girl). Once you have that level of choice in your relationships, you start seeing anything that displays a lack of interest as more of a challenge... whether or not you find that challenge worthy (if the girl is cute enough with a nice enough personality) is the up to you.

Really though, I don't like it when a girl gives me little challenge either... if I got her from day one, she's gonna have to be something special for me to really stay interested.

 

[LJC]

In my life, I've only met one girl who was in essence 'hard to get'...and worth getting. BUT, she wasn't hard to get because she wasn't initially interested or played games or anything along those lines. She was hard to get because she had good moral values, more honest than you could ever expect a woman to be, didn't play games, very very attractive and so unmaterialistic and simple it seemed surreal. She was raised learning to bake and sew and all that domesticated stuff, yet went to college with a purpose.

Really....how often do you come accross a woman like that?

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by LJC
Really....how often do you come accross a woman like that?

I know of one. She's also a good looker.

But I stay away, cause I'd marry her. And I don't want that

 

[thecraftylefty]

I'm with smokeslide on this one and I'll tell you why.

#1 -- she could be having a bad day, so try again later. (wash, rinse, and repeat as you see fit)

#2 -- you could be having a bad day (hey, it happens); try again later

#3 -- there's nothing wrong with being PERSISTENT; it shows you go after what you want and aren't willing to settle without giving it a try first

Hell, I'm sure many of us guys would not have been born had it not been for our father's persistence in trying to get with our mothers.

As a sidenote, it should be obvious when there's absolutely no attraction between two people. Take your losses and move on like a man. You'll still have your pride and dignity after a rejection, don't worry.

Persistence is a virtue, not a vice.

thecraftylefty

 

[OpenMind]

I know of one. She's also a good looker.

But I stay away, cause I'd marry her. And I don't want that


That's funny ICE..at least your a man with a plan

 

[Jet Jockey]

When I was flying for a living we would also get targets that were "hard to get". We had a plan for that many times. Oh we got em alright. Took a little longer, but we got em. We took care of any closer targets first. That was common sense. With that achieved, we focused our concentration of the "hard to get" target. It's defenses were pretty much shot to hell by now ....right? We'd zoom in as close as we figured we could get...then choose our weapon. Hmm Sidewinder, Maverick? Sparrow? Depends on your target. You only get a lock for a brief period......

You have to let it rip. Helps to have a wingman, but if you are solo don't let that stop you. Come off with what you got. Shyt, out maneuvered it and used counter-measures. This sortie ain't quite over guys.

My favorite trick was to act as if I was returning home. Go a few miles. Watch my back. hee hee. Once the "hard to get" saw me making tracks, they often closed in on me. Then I'd pull up full throttle, hammerhead stall for a split second, loop around, and wind up staring them down. LAUNCH.

Hard to get is now toast.

I know that, this all seems, like a illogical comparison, but read between the lines. Have patience and skill. make sure the "target" is one thats "worth" it. And by all means don't exhaust all your resources, or you'll be screwed. Get it?

 

[nycdoctor]

If a women is playing hard to get...she is not interested in you.

 

[squirrels]

Isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect immediate high interest from every woman you meet? Think about it...if a woman showed high interest in every man she found attractive, right off the bat, she'd have 6 kids by age 18.

They CAN and WILL "screen" you, just as you screen them (well, unless you're desperate, you screen your women).

Initial low interest is not an excuse to NEXT. Persistent low interest is...and in that case, half the time it's YOUR fault for "not getting the job done."

You don't waste excessive amounts of time on a girl that shows initial low interest, but you SHOULD exercise patience and confidence. Fool around with your other women, but should you have an opportunity to "work on" her, then don't use "she's not interested" as an excuse to be afraid to try and raise her IL.

Unless you're playing this game strictly as a numbers game. That's up to you.

 

[OpenMind]

Squirrels is dead on. Give em 3 dates and if by the third date you dont sense high interest, then NEXT.. saves you time and also keeps you from letting the female hard to get chicks get slip away.. good luck!