What does it take to STOP being NERVOUS and scared?

[Babnik]

This happens to many of us, to even best of us!

HB6-8 - don't give a squat if she doesn't like me squeezing her butt or being playful!

HB9-10 - I am NERVOUS. I can't help it. I can't even THINK straight! I get nervous and scared of f*ck knows what! I can't force myself to think positive or to think about my high self esteem. I do have high self esteem. Me being successful in life and improving myself doesn't help with being nervous.

I don't show it, I do not lose my frame and never let them diss me, but I just slap her butt....

HOW DO I STOP THIS? HOW TO GET OVER IT? How to force myself to enjoy the damn ride instead of expecting or worrying about the outcome?!?! Alcohol helps, but damn...I ain't drinking to get laid all the time!

I need a detailed guide as to HOW TO FEEL COMFY with a hot girl! I try to force myself to think "I do not want her, its nothing if she says no, whatever" but its not how I feel. Their looks just intimidate me, but still never let them diss me.

ALSO, a girl COULD say "I want you" seriously and I would freaking STILL be intimidated and scared!! WHY IS THAT?

I have high self esteem and I love myself. I consider myself HG10, regardless of whether its true or not, I believe and feel that I look good. These girls complement me on my looks, and I'm STILL nervous and scared!

What do I DO??!?!?

I can't force myself to assume attraction, I get pessimistic even if that girl asks me out! GRR!


Because of nervousness, I fail with HB9-10 and then it LOWERS my esteem and I think I can't score with them because of past experience, so its like never-ending cycle!

 

[WC2]

First of all, no one has the exact formula to eliminate you being nervous around good looking women. This is something that will come on your own in time.

The worst thing you can do is try to convince yourself of something that is not. You obviously want to bed the girl, so don't try and fool yourself. There's a difference in playing it cool and not playing it at all.

If you convince yourself there's no form of attraction when approaching a girl, you'll rarely succeed. Women want to feel sexually aroused, they just don't want to be waited on hand and foot. Approach with sexual desire, and let her know you have sexual desire. Be positive and funny while still perking her sexual interest. As long as she responds with positive responses, theres no reason not to escalate, without being a creep that is.

Unfortunately, the only way you're going to get used to talking to good looking women is through repetition. There should be no reason to feel embarrassed when being rejected.. theres so many women out there, you could be rejected by a million and it would make no difference. BUT Every time you succeed with a HB, you unconsciously raise your confidence level forever. No tricking your mind, pure confidence boost.

I guess you can compare it to life.. for all the mistakes one may make, what keeps you going is your great achievements. Get out there and get it.

 

[Babnik]

First of all, no one has the exact formula to eliminate you being nervous around good looking women. This is something that will come on your own in time.

The worst thing you can do is try to convince yourself of something that is not. You obviously want to bed the girl, so don't try and fool yourself. There's a difference in playing it cool and not playing it at all.

If you convince yourself there's no form of attraction when approaching a girl, you'll rarely succeed. Women want to feel sexually aroused, they just don't want to be waited on hand and foot. Approach with sexual desire, and let her know you have sexual desire. Be positive and funny while still perking her sexual interest. As long as she responds with positive responses, theres no reason not to escalate, without being a creep that is.

Unfortunately, the only way you're going to get used to talking to good looking women is through repetition. There should be no reason to feel embarrassed when being rejected.. theres so many women out there, you could be rejected by a million and it would make no difference. BUT Every time you succeed with a HB, you unconsciously raise your confidence level forever. No tricking your mind, pure confidence boost.

I guess you can compare it to life.. for all the mistakes one may make, what keeps you going is your great achievements. Get out there and get it.

I think all in all I am called SHY but not letting anyone know it.

There aren't many HB9 and 10s, so it makes them seem rare and more important.


Also

 

[Charm]

Practice and training all the time is the only way. If you anly approach once and a while, you'll get rusty.

 

[Babnik]

Practice and training all the time is the only way. If you anly approach once and a while, you'll get rusty.

Its not approach, its things further. Like, being on a DATE or making out. She is sticking her tongue in my mouth or even initiating it and I am being nervous and scared...

 

[Charm]

Its not approach, its things further. Like, being on a DATE or making out. She is sticking her tongue in my mouth or even initiating it and I am being nervous and scared...

But you really answered your own question here in a way. Being out on more and more dates will help you fine tune your abilities. Not every date goes without nerves. Sometimes i've been nervous and it usually had to do with built up expectations I had created for myself. Having fun and cracking jokes can help ease the nerves.

"If you did the interior decorating here, what would you change?"

 

[Snow Plowman]

Like the other guy said you have to approach constantly until your mind becomes aligned with approaching. It also has to do with inner game issues, but if you come from a position where your offering value you won't be nervous at all.

You're main focus is just having fun and treating her like a fuking 4 year old kid then you won't be thinking like that. One thing that really helps is to not give a **** what anyone thinks whether it is good or bad, it doesn't matter.

When you come from a place of dominance and everything inside is down internally then you don't get that type of nervousness. But of course you only gain it if you actually go out and approach. Also stop thinking about trying to pickup because really you're just their to have fun.

 

[Billy_Badass]

Approach until you don't feel anything. In fact, get rejected until you don't feel anything. It helps to have the constant practice. You just sort of become accustomed to the stress of being nervous, until it doesn't exist anymore.

If you slack for a long period of time, like I have in recent past, some of it can come back, but generally, you will adapt very easy. Its like getting on a bike, once you do it, it will stay with you.

 

[xbeejx]

As soon as you want it you become so less atractive, remember that

 

[PRMoon]

I don't worry about overcoming my nerves. Being nervous just shows me that I care about winning. It's not a bad thing just a condition of man while in competition or trying to acheive. Like any thing else, I just remember that I'm more then well equipped for the job at hand and after I do the approach, it's gonna be smooth sailing from there. You'll only be nervous for the minutes leading up to and maybe the first few seconds in an approach. The rest is cake because you're the best there is at what you do...or at least you should have that mentality.

 

[nvictor]

booze!

 

[Charm]

booze!

:yes:

 

[Jariel]

What does it take to STOP being NERVOUS and scared?

Answer: Stop thinking so much!


Fear is all in the mind. The more you think about a fear, the worse it becomes; the more you build yourself up, the more nervous you become. Thinking about what a girl thinks of you, about potential outcomes, about things to say, how to act, what strategies to use and alike, all contributes towards your stress levels.

You need to condition yourself to stop thinking so much, and just face things. The night before a date or big event, play video games or go out with friends. Don't rehearse, don't even try to psyche yourself up, because that forces you to think about what lies ahead.

Just be cool and take everything as it comes.

 

[jonwon]

This happens to many of us, to even best of us!

HB6-8 - don't give a squat if she doesn't like me squeezing her butt or being playful!

HB9-10 - I am NERVOUS. I can't help it. I can't even THINK straight! I get nervous and scared of f*ck knows what! I can't force myself to think positive or to think about my high self esteem. I do have high self esteem. Me being successful in life and improving myself doesn't help with being nervous.

I don't show it, I do not lose my frame and never let them diss me, but I just slap her butt....

HOW DO I STOP THIS? HOW TO GET OVER IT? How to force myself to enjoy the damn ride instead of expecting or worrying about the outcome?!?! Alcohol helps, but damn...I ain't drinking to get laid all the time!

I need a detailed guide as to HOW TO FEEL COMFY with a hot girl! I try to force myself to think "I do not want her, its nothing if she says no, whatever" but its not how I feel. Their looks just intimidate me, but still never let them diss me.

ALSO, a girl COULD say "I want you" seriously and I would freaking STILL be intimidated and scared!! WHY IS THAT?

I have high self esteem and I love myself. I consider myself HG10, regardless of whether its true or not, I believe and feel that I look good. These girls complement me on my looks, and I'm STILL nervous and scared!

What do I DO??!?!?

I can't force myself to assume attraction, I get pessimistic even if that girl asks me out! GRR!


Because of nervousness, I fail with HB9-10 and then it LOWERS my esteem and I think I can't score with them because of past experience, so its like never-ending cycle!

I think it helps to know all guys fear rejection and approach, the ones on here who boast about conflicts can do it with a sense of pride as the biggest test is not, getting the women a t the initial stage it is getting past your own fears.

It does get easier but it never goes away, to some they seem like solid champions of pulling pus** but i have known and also pulled some nice girlsd in my time, i fear approach and sometimes more then not dont approach due to it as well as my successful mates. Sometimes though you just cant help it, your driven to it and then results come.

Some great advice posted.
Some of the best for me personnally is knowing no one who appraches women does it with 100% confidence, the fear of rejection is hard wired and cant be just forgotten about, it does get easier but like i said you can never ever get rid of it, no matter how good you are.

Its all about how you handle it, or learn to handle that fear that counts.
I.e rejection.
Approach and motivation to keep plugging away.

Thats one of the reasons why players e.t.c tell you to refrain from wan*ing e.t.c as you rreally do need as much going for you in your head to over-ride the fear.

Fear is all it it, i wish we could simply turn it on and off but we cant, so you just have to learn to handle it and that does not come from reading a forum i am afraid, wish it did.

The more hot babes you interact with the more you disensitise your self from there looks so to say.

 

[Dapper]

Answer: Stop thinking so much!


Fear is all in the mind. The more you think about a fear, the worse it becomes; the more you build yourself up, the more nervous you become. Thinking about what a girl thinks of you, about potential outcomes, about things to say, how to act, what strategies to use and alike, all contributes towards your stress levels.

You need to condition yourself to stop thinking so much, and just face things. The night before a date or big event, play video games or go out with friends. Don't rehearse, don't even try to psyche yourself up, because that forces you to think about what lies ahead.

Just be cool and take everything as it comes.

That's right. Be cool! Be the ice man! Cool means s l o w. I gets nervous - I gets s l o w. No rush. For what? Women can be entranced by s l o w. They so used to quick, know-it-all, hornvy men. Be cool. Be s l o w

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If you gets no respect you gives no respect :rockon: