What do you think of this Tony Robbins advice?

[BobCarlton]

Tony Robbins is someone I respect A LOT and I've followed for years. I know his son and brother in law, so I know a lot of personal things about him and all I can say is that he is the REAL DEAL.

Watch these two videos and let me know what you think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLtceOiHIug&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07lQ2cpb0Vs&feature=related

Here are two great quotes from the videos that I wrote down:

"You have to bring PRESENCE to those moments when she's scared. You don't need a foundation, every woman needs to be reassured. Women need reassurance all the ****ing time. If you're in business and you're successful, when somebody rejects your idea, you wouldn't be in business unless you dealt with rejection after rejection after rejection and broke through. You have to do the SAME THING with a woman, at a level when you think there's no more you can do, there's ALWAYS more you can do! If you take that on as a man, then the next relationship you will be in will flourish at levels you can't imagine. But most men don't have those balls. They come up with a cognitive answer of why the woman is screwed up, and I'm so good, so they don't ever really break through. So don't leave rationalizing, leave playing at another level."

"What this woman is really looking for is for a man to come and sweep her off her feet, and be her hero, tear down the dragons and break open her heart. She's looking for that certainty, that level of presence that no matter what she does and doesn't give you feedback, you'll break through. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of guys like that in the world we're in today because most guys have been taught to be feminine, which is that if a woman doesn't reinforce them they take their energy some place else."

So what did I learn from these quotes?

One, that masculine energy is BREAKING THROUGH. Feminine energy is giving up and running away from the first sign of rejection. When you first meet a woman and she gives her number, she is INTERESTED. What is stopping her from seeing you again? Her fear, insecurities, conditioning, etc... What happens when you call her, text her and pursue her and she doesn't reply back? Most guys GIVE UP because they only keep pursuing when they get the positive feedback. What Tony is saying is that we need to have a PRESENCE and power that can keep going, despite no feedback, and break through her walls. Either way, continuing to pursue women despite the rejection or no feedback makes you stronger and will train you in your relationship to NOT GIVE UP and have the mentality of breaking through to her. It helps you grow balls.

Your thoughts?

 

[betheman]

all this reassurance is abit time consuming, how about the woman just grows up and does her bit? reassurance is fine but when it becomes a monkey on your back????
sorry but Im not busting my balls because a woman need cosntant reasurance, thats just not fun and it becomes a ever growing need/burden

 

[Warrior74]

He's right. Case in point. President Obama asked his wife out 14 times before she said yes. Most people would say that's beta, (of course many people think he is, but that's a different debate please don't get side tracked). And you hear stories like that all the time from older generations of how the guy just persisted and they are still happily married till this day.

all this reassurance is abit time consuming, how about the woman just grows up and does her bit? reassurance is fine but when it becomes a monkey on your back????
sorry but Im not busting my balls because a woman need cosntant reasurance, thats just not fun and it becomes a ever growing need/burden

I suppose it isn't with a woman who's worth it eh?

This is also true. After a while it gets old constantly trying to fill up a never ending black hole of insecurity and fear. Especially on top of any other relationship/sexual drama/problems. The candle ain't worth the light. Or the return on invest

 

[Jitterbug]

I don't think anyone actually envies Obama's choice of wife, Warrior.

 

[zekko]

He's right. Case in point. President Obama asked his wife out 14 times before she said yes. Most people would say that's beta, (of course many people think he is, but that's a different debate please don't get side tracked). And you hear stories like that all the time from older generations of how the guy just persisted and they are still happily married till this day.

You're right, you do hear stories like that a lot. I can't imagine getting rejected by the same woman that many times myself (hey, once is enough for me - I don't need a roof to fall on my head), but apparently it happens.

I suppose the "DJ Forum" explanation for this phenomenon is that the girl finally got done banging all the bad boys she wanted to so she decided to settle down with the biggest, nearest Beta Provider that she could find.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The problem with this guy's philosophy is the presumption that "breaking through" is really worth the effort. It also presumes a man has a complete understanding of the rewards that await him in exchange for his perseverance. In fact I'd argue that a relationship predicated on having to wear a woman down to the point that she relents to dating you is one based on negotiated desire, not genuine passion or organic interest.

Rationalization points both ways. While it may satisfy some romantic ideal to think that your persistence was the foundation of a fairy tale marriage, it's just as easy to rationalize that same persistence as the major failing of staying together with a BPD nightmare bítch from hell. When the results are positive we call it "persistence", when the results are negative we call it "obsession".

It's nice to read stories about how your grandfather waited out your grandma at the soda store every week until she agreed to go to the sock hop with him, but far more common is the story of the chump who 'patiently' waited for his high school "soulmate" to have 2 kids with the outlaw biker boyfriend she'd cry over on the phone with him about for 10 years and then married at 30. What he calls the rewards of persistence, she calls "good enough to settle for".

 

[st_99]

You can try to be persistent and that is but 1 strategy but ultimately you need to adapt your game to the feedback you're getting. I mean, if a girl you're being persistent with is bringing the guy she is dating around you, well, it may be time to move on.

Persistence isn't terrible its just that you need to adjust to the feedback you're getting at some point, keep you're emotions in check (so you're not operating in a fog) and go from there.

 

[guru1000]

Whenever you hear another's ideology that has weak evidentiary support (especially given that many AFCs already persistently chase women as opposed to being chased), you must look to the motivations of the speaker.

Robbins is a "life coach," whose primary audience comprises both men and women. He cannot pitch DJ laws, as he may lose the appeal of half his audience, the women. Therefore, he appeals to the mass, both male and female, by demonstrating the "law of persistence," which satisfies the interest/appeal of most male AFCs with their "newfound enlightenment" and the majority of women who want to be chased. Hence, his idea is the perfect plan: yet another money-making opportunity to accommodate his audience's needs.

 

[49au]

The video with the guy really ties into a discussion I had last night regarding the two competing mindsets to dealing with girls with emotional issues within the context of an established LTR:

a) "Be there" for her, show strength, remain calm, and give her support as she works it out.

b) Do the "I'm leaving, you need to clear your head, no hard feelings" routine and manipulate her into missing you and pushing away her issues or just flat out moving on from her.

It seems option B is the prevalent thinking on this forum.

Again, this is within the context of an established LTR where there will sometimes be conflicts/doubts/issues/etc. mostly stemming from a woman's various neuroses.

I'm curious if some of you think that there indeed times within that setting where the proper response is simply to show strength and try to "break through" a woman's BS.

 

[betheman]

"I'm curious if some of you think that there indeed times within that setting where the proper response is simply to show strength and try to "break through" a woman's BS."

yes there are times, when the emotional tirade is aimed at you and you are held responsible, that kind of behaviour is unaceptable, Im sure there are many other exmples, insecurity and clingyness, its ok to a point, but at some point a woman has to accept some responsibility unless she wants to remain a 15 year old

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I realize this is going to sound like semantics, but what you think is "strength" and what she perceives as "strength" are often very misaligned. You're dealing in neurolinguistics. Just like "persistence" is associated in the positive with ideas like determination, patience and dedication, the term "strength" enjoys that same positive connotation that no one is likely to disagree with. Who's going to respect you for not being "strong for her"? Who's going to advise you to not be strong?

These sorts of associations are predictable for people attempting to not-so-subtly steer others with what is basically a binary argument. In other words, if you're not "strong" for her, the deductive association is that your other option is being "weak" by leaving her. In actuality the act of leaving her may require the most strength, but that's not how the supposition is framed. The devil is in the details. As I stated above, the difference between "persistence" and "obsession" is really defined by the end result. The same applies to strength and (at least perceived) weakness. The "weak" thing to do might be staying in an unhealthy emotional situation.

The other presumption is that what you define and decide to embody as "strength" will be acknowledged and appreciated by the woman you're staying with and being "strong" for. Graveyards are littered with noble souls who did "the right thing" who were sure their sacrifice would be appreciated by those who they died for. It may seem ennobling to "be her rock in the storm", but all that means very little if she comes to see it as expected. You can sing your own song to yourself and maybe your friends will pat you on the back for being "such a great guy", but it means nothing if the one you've done it for fails to appreciate what you did.

 

[st_99]

the difference between "persistence" and "obsession" is really defined by the end result.

Isn't that the truth.

"He was persistent and she eventually gave in"

"He was obsessive and so she got a restraining order"

"He was strong and left an unhealthy relationship"

"He is weak and is afraid to leave her"

"He is weak and so decided not to fight for his relationship, he just left"

Its all semantics and a bunch of BS.

Its like politics, everything decision is good and bad, just depends on who you ask.

 

[Sue Madre]

Case in point. President Obama asked his wife out 14 times before she said yes.

It's because of all that coke he was snorting in College.

 

[DMSR76]

President Obama asked his wife out 14 times before she said yes.

No way in hell is ANY woman worth that kind of emasculation.

 

[squirrels]

TONY ROBBINS HUNGRY!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzXa7NlTxWU

 

[countermart]

Here's some feedback lol

One of the primary problems here is this constantly trying to define exactly what to do as though one action fits all women. Female moods, actions, what they respond to are constantly changing. They change in the one woman over time and they are different in each woman at any point in time. This is in effect the great danger with LTRs, you are dealing with a constantly changing ocean of seasonal and daily moods. However, it is worse than the ocean because as men we go and look for a logical cause to why the waves are high or low or flat etc. However, often there is no cause, there is no logic.

You try to find a logical reason for something that is not logical. No wonder you go around and around in circles. What do women want? Forget about it, most of the time they don’t know what they want, they simply respond, or reflect off you some of the time.

As regards feedback and persistence, this is a very good question. In fact not with women, but on a project I needed our council to do I decided to conduct an experiment. I decided that I would test what happens when you persisted no matter what negative or positive feedback is received.

Of course the feedback was all mostly negative, but a person was killed in a similar situation, and I decided it was not going to happen again. So no matter what they fed me I came back again and again. Deliberately testing this concept of whether feedback mattered. What happened?

It took me four years of taking everything they threw at me, four years of ignoring their feedback and the project is there in place completed today. Perhaps it will save a life, I don’t know. But I do know that we give feedback too much power.

If you are confused about something always go back to what the warrior would do...he would persist, yes he would change his approach as he goes forward, but the number one thing is that he would have his goal and nothing would stop him...especially not feedback...that is just the noise.

I hope this helps someone to keep going even when all the feedback is against them.

Countermart

 

[Mike32ct]

Persistence was charming in our grandparents' day. It isn't so today. Women have words like "creeper" or "stalker."

 

[acw]

Persistence in Business, Sales, School, .....YES!

Persistence in the pursuit of 1 women ? ? ? ....NOOOoooooo Fckin Way!

1. There is no way that Obama or Nixon or any other Chump who haggles a women for 14 times is FUNDAMENTALLY an Alpha Male. In fact, i would say that he is a very poor example of a male...PERIOD.

2. Anyone who pursues another in the above mentioned fashion is basically a CONTROL FREAK. Anyone who gets involved with this type of relationship is in a Dominator-Dominatix Relationship. That's ok...if that's what you want. Remember, if you want a Submissive women, or want to be the Submissive man...you have to look in the right venues. (Oh my...God knows what Michelle has Barrack doing in the BR...yeeks).

3. Any HEALTHY women would see someone who wants them that bad as either an Idiot, Sucker, Sap, Obsessive Compulsive, Someone with low-self-esteem, or Someone who has NO OTHER OPTIONS and therefore a Looser!

ROLLO pointed out the fact and results of such on endivor....what would you get if you pursue such a women at such great costs?

Probably not worth it...(sigh).

~ac

 

[zekko]

1. There is no way that Obama or Nixon or any other Chump who haggles a women for 14 times is FUNDAMENTALLY an Alpha Male. In fact, i would say that he is a very poor example of a male...PERIOD.

Maybe Nixon was soooo freaking alpha that he was all "I know I'm the best man, I'm not jealous or insecure. Shoot, I'll chauffer you and this chump around myself, that way I can watch him blow himself out and have a good laugh".

ROLLO pointed out the fact and results of such on endivor....what would you get if you pursue such a women at such great costs?

The presidency?

 

[KarmaSutra]

One of the primary problems here is this constantly trying to define exactly what to do as though one action fits all women. Female moods, actions, what they respond to are constantly changing. They change in the one woman over time and they are different in each woman at any point in time. This is in effect the great danger with LTRs, you are dealing with a constantly changing ocean of seasonal and daily moods. However, it is worse than the ocean because as men we go and look for a logical cause to why the waves are high or low or flat etc. However, often there is no cause, there is no logic.

You try to find a logical reason for something that is not logical. No wonder you go around and around in circles. What do women want? Forget about it, most of the time they don’t know what they want, they simply respond, or reflect off you some of the time.

As regards feedback and persistence, this is a very good question. In fact not with women, but on a project I needed our council to do I decided to conduct an experiment. I decided that I would test what happens when you persisted no matter what negative or positive feedback is received.

Of course the feedback was all mostly negative, but a person was killed in a similar situation, and I decided it was not going to happen again. So no matter what they fed me I came back again and again. Deliberately testing this concept of whether feedback mattered. What happened?

It took me four years of taking everything they threw at me, four years of ignoring their feedback and the project is there in place completed today. Perhaps it will save a life, I don’t know. But I do know that we give feedback too much power.

If you are confused about something always go back to what the warrior would do...he would persist, yes he would change his approach as he goes forward, but the number one thing is that he would have his goal and nothing would stop him...especially not feedback...that is just the noise.

I hope this helps someone to keep going even when all the feedback is against them.

Hard to argue against any of what Brother Countermart has spoken.