First off I'm not trolling nor do I want to give up completely. But lately I've found that I'm completely uninterested in meeting new women. Add to the fact that I've tired of the club scene, and I don't meet many women through work, school, or my social circle. The only plus is I'm putting more time into my school work. But I'm ****ing tired of always bring without a woman and being a virgin. I don't know what to do anymore.
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What do you guys do when you've given up?
- Thread starter Scion
- Start date
Oh, I've failed a lot, you'd think I'd be an expert by now. Lol, just joking. But seriously, I don't know how to get out of this funk. I get why most women aren't interested in me (or at least the women I'm interested in) and I'm working on most of it (there's one thing I can't do much about, and that is that I look much younger than I am, although that will be great later on in life).
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
there may be nothing wrong with it but how many 22 year old girls want to date a guy that looks like he's 17-18 (i'm 25 btw). I sometimes feel it would be better if I looked my age.Maxtro said:Scion, watch this Tim the toolman Taylor is right!
There is nothing wrong with looking younger than you are. I'm 28 and nobody at my university knows how old I am. I look just like the average undergrad. Hell, there are 23 year old guys who look older than I do.
You're uninterested because you are unsuccessful. It's the best way to not lose the game, not playing. When you really get tired of it, you'll start to not give F and be willing to try any and everything to make it happen. You'll be willing to open sets at the club, you'll be willing to cold approach, you'll be willing to try online dating, you'll be willing to go out of your way to find where women are and meet them. Because you will know in your heart that you have absolutely nothing to lose. When you don't know what to do, that's perfect...your cup is empty and you can fill it up with something new.Scion said:First off I'm not trolling nor do I want to give up completely. But lately I've found that I'm completely uninterested in meeting new women. Add to the fact that I've tired of the club scene, and I don't meet many women through work, school, or my social circle. The only plus is I'm putting more time into my school work. But I'm ****ing tired of always bring without a woman and being a virgin. I don't know what to do anymore.
Go somewhere new this weekend, and approach women you've never met before. Who cares if you get rejected, they don't know you anyway. Start slow and learn....
In fact, one exercise I had to do was to go up and say Hi to 10 women in a day. Just Hi. That's it. Mission accomplished. Everything after Hi is a bonus point.
The next mission was to hold a conversation with the next 10. Ask for directions, ask whats a good club or what they do for fun. Just ask one question and get one anwser.
The next was a 5 minute conversation with the next 10.
The next was a phone number from at least one girl out of the next 10.
The next was setting up a date with at least one out of the next 10, bonus points if you get multiple dates.
The next was kiss closing with at least one out of the next 10, bonus points if you get multiple kisses.
The next was getting one back to your place. bonus points if you get multiples.
F closing. bonus points if you get multiple F closes.
FB's.
Spinning plates.
Basically each small mission gives you more confidence to do the next one. You know that you can at least walk up to a strange girl and say hi. You have that confidence behind you already. build on your successes, learn from your failures. Start a journal here and chronicle each success, that way you can go back and look at it for inspiration and to learn from what you did wrong. Good luck!
BongDuy
Master Don Juan
Go to sleep, take a break, and look into yourself. re evaluate yourself and find new hobbies, or go out and do something you've never done before.
Thanks for writing more than a couple of sentences warrior but the problem is that I don't even have the motivation to try approaching anymore. I've just stopped trying. It also pisses me off that other people around me are having no problem finding people to date but for me it's always been pretty much impossible (and it's definitely not gonna happen as I am).
Scion said:Thanks for writing more than a couple of sentences warrior but the problem is that I don't even have the motivation to try approaching anymore. I've just stopped trying. It also pisses me off that other people around me are having no problem finding people to date but for me it's always been pretty much impossible (and it's definitely not gonna happen as I am).
Take the first step. Just go say hi to 10 girls tomorrow. Report back. Fvck motivation. Just do it and report back. Stop thinking, stop comparing yourself to others. Just do it. Tomorrow get up. Do some push ups, dressed, get groomed, smell good, look good, take your ass to the mall, make eye contact with some girl you think is cute and say hi. If you can't do that, you don't deserve all of the time that people have given you here. We don't want to hear you whine about how you can't do it, we want to see you win. Man up and get it done! First step. We'll be waiting for your report.
well that's easy, I have a part time job as a server so I have no prob talking to people and striking up a convo. I'll try what you suggested, although it probably won't be today as I work all day. Maybe another day though.Warrior74 said:Take the first step. Just go say hi to 10 girls tomorrow. Report back. Fvck motivation. Just do it and report back. Stop thinking, stop comparing yourself to others. Just do it. Tomorrow get up. Do some push ups, dressed, get groomed, smell good, look good, take your ass to the mall, make eye contact with some girl you think is cute and say hi. If you can't do that, you don't deserve all of the time that people have given you here. We don't want to hear you whine about how you can't do it, we want to see you win. Man up and get it done! First step. We'll be waiting for your report.
Ronnie Poleman
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2008
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Scion said:well that's easy, I have a part time job as a server so I have no prob talking to people and striking up a convo. I'll try what you suggested, although it probably won't be today as I work all day. Maybe another day though.
Don't procrastinate! If you keep telling yourself "I'll do it tomorrow" then you'll keep putting it off. As a server, you can strike up convo and have good eye contact with girls while you work, and it won't be unprofessional because all you're doing is small talk and eye contact, making the customers comfortable, which can only be a positive thing especially as a server. On your way back from work, strike up conversation with at least 1 girl on the transit bus/subway/street. The most it will take is 5 minutes out of your schedule, which you can easily afford.
And as for the question, "what do you guys do when you've given up?", those of you who watch the show 'How I Met Your Mother' will recognise this quote :
"When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead"
No excuses buddy!
Lol, well I didn't think chatting up girls at my work would count since it's my job. I could always go in a bit early and go to a couple stores around my work, however no ones gonna be around tonight at 12 when I'm off. But who knows, just don't want to plan on it.
Nothing worth having is easy. If you want to quit then go ahead but down the line you are going to hate yourself for not seeing this one through. Fail, fail and then fail again. You only learn through making mistakes. Nothing anyone here says will force you to do it, it is entirely down to you but at the end of the day it's your life. You have a choice to give up and be the man you have always been or push forward, go outside your comfort zone that little bit more day by day and improve yourself overall.
I know exactly where you are coming from and the thought of giving up after a bad rejection or settling for a below par gf has crossed my mind from time to time but I am determined to see this thing through and become a more sociable, well rounded person.
Keep at it.
I know exactly where you are coming from and the thought of giving up after a bad rejection or settling for a below par gf has crossed my mind from time to time but I am determined to see this thing through and become a more sociable, well rounded person.
Keep at it.
Scion said:well that's easy, I have a part time job as a server so I have no prob talking to people and striking up a convo. I'll try what you suggested, although it probably won't be today as I work all day. Maybe another day though.
Maybe another day? This is why you are where you are at. Maybe? Another day? Before Monday I expect a report from you. Man up son. This is your mission. You either give up and shut up or get in the game. If you really are working all day today fine. Do it tomorrow. before the weekend is out you finish this mission. This is your life, you either want it to be better or you don't, don't give me that charlie brown wishy washy maybe crap.
This. Failure is masturbation.Falcon25 said:jerk off
We all have to masturbate sometimes.
im gonna try warriors thing. I fell off the wagon recently. I have been talking to EVERYBODY, yet I still haven't closed the deal and actually asked for a girls number in a couple of months. After I while I saw myself not even talking to hot girls anymore.
no thread steal! haha
no thread steal! haha
Ouch warrior, what's with the threat? Well don't expect much of a report, I work most of today (on a break right now). I did chat up a few girls today, so I'll let you know a bit about that later tonight or tomorrow (though the details aren't great, today is seriously like a blur). Probably hitting up a bar after work if I'm not wiped so possibly some opportunity there.
Epic fail of a night
So here's my report for today (it's not too exciting). So like I said before I worked today. Turned out to be pretty busy so didn't have much time to socialize, did chat up a couple girls though.
First off was this cute asian girl. She came in with 2 guys and another girl. Originally thought it might be some kind of double date. Turned out not to be the case. We started chatting for a bit when she was asking me to recommend a drink (don't ask what we were talking about, can't really remember).
Second girl was this ok looking girl that came in with her fat friend. At the time it had slowed down a bit so I did have a bit of time to socialize. I wasn't really attracted to this girl so I didn't put much effort in and didn't even feel like # closing her.
Third girl actually started chatting me up. She was a french girl that was visiting my city with a group of people (she's french Canadian, not from France). She was one of the only ones out of her group that could speak much english. We basically just talked about why her group's visiting (sports competition), what she thinks of my city, etc etc. Not terribly exciting, but whatever. Don't bother # closing her because she's not even from my city.
And that pretty much sums up my work day. Rest of my customers were mostly guys drinking beer in the bar. Was a profitable day though, best one in some time there actually.
Now after work me and a couple other guys hit up a club. We ended up at a place I hadn't been to in about a year. I remember the place as being filled with hotties, so was kinda excited. Big let down, the place was a sausage fest. There was maybe 1 girl for every 2 guys. And maybe only half of them would be considered attractive. Place wasn't very busy either. But tried to make the best of it. Now, I suck at clubs, is not my scene at all. I actually find approaching at clubs very intimidating. Takes me a bit to get the nerve to approach. I did approach a few sets. First two I got the "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" line. Third sets just ignored me. The last set I actually had some guy try and c*ckblock me. Whatever, after an hour and a bit I just wasn't feeling it anymore. And couldn't find the guys I was with either (I think one of them left to hook up with some girl, no idea what happened to the other guy). So I just went home. And here I am typing this **** up after just getting in.
Now I don't know what the ****s wrong with me but I learned that I have a really hard time breaking out of my shell. Especially at places like clubs. Doubt there's much anyone on these boards can do to help me, I need extreme help. Don't know what I'm gonna do now.
So here's my report for today (it's not too exciting). So like I said before I worked today. Turned out to be pretty busy so didn't have much time to socialize, did chat up a couple girls though.
First off was this cute asian girl. She came in with 2 guys and another girl. Originally thought it might be some kind of double date. Turned out not to be the case. We started chatting for a bit when she was asking me to recommend a drink (don't ask what we were talking about, can't really remember).
Second girl was this ok looking girl that came in with her fat friend. At the time it had slowed down a bit so I did have a bit of time to socialize. I wasn't really attracted to this girl so I didn't put much effort in and didn't even feel like # closing her.
Third girl actually started chatting me up. She was a french girl that was visiting my city with a group of people (she's french Canadian, not from France). She was one of the only ones out of her group that could speak much english. We basically just talked about why her group's visiting (sports competition), what she thinks of my city, etc etc. Not terribly exciting, but whatever. Don't bother # closing her because she's not even from my city.
And that pretty much sums up my work day. Rest of my customers were mostly guys drinking beer in the bar. Was a profitable day though, best one in some time there actually.
Now after work me and a couple other guys hit up a club. We ended up at a place I hadn't been to in about a year. I remember the place as being filled with hotties, so was kinda excited. Big let down, the place was a sausage fest. There was maybe 1 girl for every 2 guys. And maybe only half of them would be considered attractive. Place wasn't very busy either. But tried to make the best of it. Now, I suck at clubs, is not my scene at all. I actually find approaching at clubs very intimidating. Takes me a bit to get the nerve to approach. I did approach a few sets. First two I got the "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" line. Third sets just ignored me. The last set I actually had some guy try and c*ckblock me. Whatever, after an hour and a bit I just wasn't feeling it anymore. And couldn't find the guys I was with either (I think one of them left to hook up with some girl, no idea what happened to the other guy). So I just went home. And here I am typing this **** up after just getting in.
Now I don't know what the ****s wrong with me but I learned that I have a really hard time breaking out of my shell. Especially at places like clubs. Doubt there's much anyone on these boards can do to help me, I need extreme help. Don't know what I'm gonna do now.
Ronnie Poleman
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2008
- Messages
- 53
- Reaction score
- 2
Dude, clubs can be daunting, especially for someone who isn't comfortable and talking to girls can be difficult there because its so damn loud lol! Try other locations like bars, malls, house parties.
Also, raise your confidence. Your previous posts on other threads show that right now, it's lacking for you. Get back to basics + first principles, it's easy to forget the simple things way down the line.
Read the DJBible, and the Book of Pook. Really focus on it, open your mind to it and take every point made in the books seriously. They will boost you up.
They both should be on this website, or a quick Google search will get you to them. I have the Book of Pook, PM me if you can't find it online.
Also, raise your confidence. Your previous posts on other threads show that right now, it's lacking for you. Get back to basics + first principles, it's easy to forget the simple things way down the line.
Read the DJBible, and the Book of Pook. Really focus on it, open your mind to it and take every point made in the books seriously. They will boost you up.
They both should be on this website, or a quick Google search will get you to them. I have the Book of Pook, PM me if you can't find it online.
Well the confidence thing is a weird thing, because I'm only not confident at my ability to date and being around women. Otherwise I'm fine, hell I've been told I'm too ****y by a couple girls I work with (apparently it bugs them). I'm confident about my looks, my intelligence, where I'm going in life. However I still have this anxiety when interacting with women, which limits the number of dates I get. I'm doing something else wrong on the dates I do get but that's something else entirely.