what do you do in your free time? aka are you always improving??

[muscleman]

This is one of my biggest problems right now. I seem to go through stages. Sometimes I'll be all about self improvement, other times I just don't give a fvck. People waste an alarming amount of time watching tv. I don't really watch tv - for me it's always been video games. I know some people will be like "you need to find more hobbies" well it's not that simple if not that many things truly interest you.

Sure, I love working out, that's why I took up bodybuilding. But that's about the only thing that I'm really into right now (besides chicks). Nothing else seems to have much of an excitement factor and feels more like work than fun. I mean I go out on weekends to various places, try some new things now and again, but I get bored easily. Hell I even find myself quitting/starting up video games just because they get too easy/boring quick. I don't really watch sports like a lot of guys - I never have as I always wanted to play them rather than watch someone else. I mean I'll watch the big games and if we're watching something during a social occassion sure, but never on my own.

From time to time I'll read some self improvement stuff (I went on a rampage half a year ago and bought a crap ton of books I've yet to finish) but it seems motivation only comes to me in cycles. I really don't want to be a "could've been guy" and as I look back I see how much time I've wasted playing video games and all the things I "could have" done instead, but at the same time nothing is holding my attention right now enough for me to get passionate about it. Anyone else have this problem? What do you do in your free time?

 

[CRDJit]

I have the same problem. I've always been too much into videogames and only recently have I started to quit them and only play like 3-4 hours a week. I know you're supposed to take hobbies that have something to show for the time you've spent in them, and I've considered web design or php programming, but as you put it, it feels more like work than fun (I'm a computer science student.) I occasionally play minigolf, poker or go bowling, and frequently go to the movies, but those activities are almost always for the weekends and there has to be some available friends to do them. I need something to do for those little times during weekdays when I don't have any college work (or don't feel like doing it ), because almost always I end up listening to music while browsing the web doing nothing in particular.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Improving is fine, living is better.

 

[CRDJit]

I have the same problem. I've always been too much into videogames and only recently have I started to quit them and only play like 3-4 hours a week. I know you're supposed to take hobbies that have something to show for the time you've spent in them, and I've considered web design or php programming, but as you put it, it feels more like work than fun (I'm a computer science student.) I occasionally play minigolf, poker or go bowling, and frequently go to the movies, but those activities are almost always for the weekends and there has to be some available friends to do them. I need something to do for those little times during weekdays when I don't have any college work (or don't feel like doing it ), because almost always I end up listening to music while browsing the web doing nothing in particular.

 

[Modro]

pick up a sport get into it, there must be one you like

Football
soccer
golf
tennis
ice hockey
squash
bowling
baseball
basketball
rugby
cricket
badminton
table tennis

or self defence

boxing
kick boxing
karate
etc

 

[Tha Realnezz]

In the gym,on my treadmill,at the mall,clubbing(alone or with company),i'm always looking for another,better job..

I do just go out walking and windowshopping in NYC(i'm in Jersey city so i'm only train ride away) specifically to p.u...

So yeah I'm always trynna improve but I do it for me mostly not just for the hoes..

 

[Jariel]

You can't be expected to be improving and working 24 hours a day. You'll go mad without some time to relax and enjoy life. I like playing video games too, but I usually just play for an hour or two at the end of the day after more important things are out of the way. Other times I like to go for a drink with my mates or watch a movie.

But I never do any of these things instead of more important priorities. I prefer to treat this relaxation time as a little reward for completing tasks. That's the key! It just takes discipline. (see my motivation post in my sig)

When you get into playing them for 8 hours+ per day like some of these Warcraft addicts, then you're causing yourself harm and wasting your life.

 

[Aenigma]

I have the exact same problem muscleman. I work/study, I lift, and then I don't know what to do with myself for "fun". Video games have lost their appel for me, and most of TV is crap (not that I would to spend my life sitting in front of a TV, even if it wasn't), this leaves me frustrated- what should I do with my free time? I've spent so much of my time with these past two "hobbies" that I don't really have any other ones, and I'm not sure how to go about finding new ones. Yet, even with the desire to find new "fun" hobbies, I also want to continue to improve myself. What are we to do?

I think before we can decide a course of action, we need to look at why we do the things we do. For the purpose of this conversation, let's say there is two types of activites. Those that we do because they're intrinsically joyful/pleasurable (lets call these column A activities) and those that we do because they'll bring us future joy/pleasure (these will be column B).

Most people, if they even think in terms of these ideas, think that these are two seperate, distinct ideas-completely unrelated. You have started to see the truth however, that you can't simply compartmentalize your activites with no trade off; that life is a zero-sum game, you can't add time to column A without taking away time from column B. Unfortunately, even knowing this we're both faced with a dilemma; we've spent so much time in column A activities (TV, video games) that we no longer enjoy, that we don't know what other column A activities we enjoy, let alone what column B activities to persue. In other words, we don't know ourselves, we don't know who we are.

The cure to this problem, I think, is expirementation. It's time to get up off the couch, out of the house, and try new things until you find the ones you love.

*poof*

A booming voice from above the clouds, a font of wisdom and insight past, reveals himself; apparently he was listening to the entire conversation.

"Mortal, you have answered one enigma only to leave another. The youth wishes to live a full life so that he will not be wracked with regret in the twilight of his life; you have told him to keep trying until he finds the things he loves- but is this not the exact problem that lead him to his current predicament? Will he not be merely filling his life with other "column A" activities that are a mere substitute for his earlier ones? Will he be not be replacing his past poison with but a different one? Is it his fate to be filled with regret in the future, even if he follows this advise?"

Oh wise one, I think not. For whereas before he was denying his soul for mindless activities, he is now searching for it. He is deciding who he wants to be. His goal is not merely to find a somewhat pleasurable activity to pass the time with, but rather to find one in which every minute he spends in pleasure is also a minute that he "improves" himself with.

Think of the painter, or the muscian; are they spending their time "improving themselves" or are they just getting better at doing what they love by doing it? This, I think, is the key to avoiding regret in old age, finding what you love and doing it. For if your life is filled with happiness, what do you truely have to regret?

"Ah, but what of the activities that are not intrinsically pleasureable?"

It's true, not every goal we have is going to be easy to meet, but having a goal and meeting it is what gives our lives meaning, it's what defines us; and every step, and small success, along the way will take you that much closer to where you want to be. Thus the importance of knowing oneself, and knowing where you want to take your life; for if you don't know where you're going then you don't know what steps to take.

In other words, don't look at "self improvement" as an end in and of itself, but rather set goals, and work towards them. By working towards your goals you'll be "self improving" as a consequence of achieving your desires.


Examples:

Goal: I want to have a great body
Work: Bust your balls in the Gym
Self-improvement: Every time you do it, your body gets that much better

Goal: I want to be rich
Work: Studying business and finance, taking risks with money
Self-improvement: With every book you read, and dollar you earn, you understand that much more and are more likely to achieve your goal. What's more if you lose your money, you're much more likely to be able to earn it back.


Sometimes getting what you want requires some blood, swear and tears from you now. That's the price you have to pay. If, on the other hand, you set a goal, and you find out that it's not blood, sweat, and tears, but rather you found the process intrinsically enjoyable- well then make that your "hobby"- that's the ideal really; to love what you're doing while you're doing it, and achieving a long term goal/s at the same time.

If this dosen't happen, just continue working for your goals, they're your self improvement; have your "hobby" be something that you enjoy for blowing off steam, the two don't necessarily have to be the same thing. There are I think, two primary sources of regret in most people when they get old.

The first is that that they set no goals, and then only live for immediate pleasure (like video games/TV, etc). In their old age, they realize they've accomplished nothing.

The second is that their goals are not in line with who they are. They force themselves to be something that they're not, and all their blood, sweat, and tears was for naught. In their old age, they realize they've achieved nothing they care about.

Ultimately, the two are the same thing- denial of the soul. So I say to you muscleman- find out who are you, and then use that to decide who you want to be, set goals in line with that, and then do it. That is the only way to avoid the regret you speak of.

 

[muscleman]

"find out who you are" <-- I got a good laugh out of that one. Not the easiest thing in the world if you ask me. If I knew that, I wouldn't have these problems. I mean, I can describe myself using adjectives, what I value, etc etc, but you're saying "find out who you are" as if figuring that out = figuring out everything you need/want to do.

 

[Brak86]

Improving is fine, living is better.

simplest yet best advice yet. I have not yet gotten this down. I am HUGE on improvement: I play flamenco guitar, study spanish, going to start Farsi soon, write, read, approach, etc.

But you don't want to burn yourself out. As long as you don't overdo it, playing some video games and just kciking back and relaxing is good. You need it. You shouldn't always be working.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

"find out who you are" <-- I got a good laugh out of that one. Not the easiest thing in the world if you ask me. If I knew that, I wouldn't have these problems...

:cheer: :cheer: BINGO:rockon:!!! :cheer: :cheer:

 

[i am me]

i play basketball...ever since i was younger, ive always played ball wit my dad, my bro, and my friends....i also love the lakers....but it wasnt until high school when i really started working on my game and started getting better that i developed a true love for the sport. i think if YOU are the one who decides that you want to be good at something, and you work hard at it, youll develop a love for it too......so jus think about for a lil bit and maybe itll come to u

 

[Interceptor]

You need to keep reading and learning. And physically DOING, and then become.

You then begin to internalize the knowledge.
This is like eating a good meal.
You take your time with each morsel of food, then digest it. Have a sip of wine, then another bite.

You then apply what you have learned and what you have become, then watch the results.

Hobbies, especially Martial Arts are quick ways to KNOW THYSELF.
I strongly suggest getting into some Self Defense/MA training regularly.

Everything else is like a slow burning fire.
It's not overnight dramatic, but there will be a definite, noticeable difference.

Second, probably most imperative adjunct to book learning, and Physical learning (namely Martial Arts) is SOCIAL INTERACTION.

In other words, apply yourself to the real world in real time with real people with real issues.

This is where you see yourself sink or swim.

 

[Jay Jay]

My hobbies.

Gym 4-5 times a week.

Guitar. Practice 30mins to an hour every day. Jam once a week with my mates.

Writing a book whenever inspiriation hits but I try to spend five hours a week writing.

Volunteer work once a week.

Live muisic (TRY) see a gig once a week.

When you add in work, chores and hanging with girls, friends and family I don't have that much time.

I've been wanting to go back to salsa classes and rock climbing and take up scubba diving but I just don't have the ****ing time!!!

Seriously guys get out there and do ****!

JJ

 

[krazE]

I find it very unlikely that there are not enough options in the world to hold your interest and keep you busy to no end. If you keep finding yourself in the same situation over and over again where you lose interest, it's usually due to one of the following:

1) Because you're doing what you think other people expect you to do; you're trying to achieve a level of success that other people have defined. It should be of no surprize that you lose heart in your efforts, because the goals you're trying to achieve are not truly your own, or...

2) You have the wrong idea of what a self-improving hobby is and retreat too quickly when faced with complications. You pursue hobbies that you initially had a genuine interest in, but you abandon them when they become more time consuming, more complex and/or more expensive than you had initially anticipated them to be, hence less fun and a loss in interest. Unfortunately, this is the nature of just about every hobby from star gazing to surfing. They are all going to have their own unique aches and pains that must be endured in order to achieve the pay off, just like weight lifting.

+1, btw you should be a psychologist lol

 

[lyamdb]

bro you need love. nothing is catching your interest because deep down you know what you need and you know its not in this or that. improving with chicks is just for "learning the rules" so that we can be in love without being an AFC.
I'm an electronic engineer, I have been playing piano for 10 years, guitar for 1 year, I know 3 languages, I'm fair at the gym, ... But whenever love happens, I can't stop noticing how lost I was while spending so much energy in self improvement. I was like a cat trying to catch its own tail! it will never catch it. it will never become satisfied. it will never stop. it will go round for hours!
I'm not saying self improvement is a bad thing. love isn't always available, and we gotta live. and self improvement with chicks is a MUST, not because it's self improvement, but because it helps you be in love while not being an AFC.
If you wanna know what can heal your boredom, there are ONLY two answers:
1-Go become a nerd.
2-Go find love. True love not AFC love.