What do my wife and I do for Valentines Day?

[5string]

NOTHING!

We don't exchange gifts on Christmas, birthdays or on other holidays just because it's a particular date on the calender. Fvck that.

What we do, are things for each other when the mood strikes us. To us, that makes a gift, a dinner or a particular event all the more special to each of us. For example, not long ago, I bought her an engagement ring. It was the one she never had and she was blindsided as she was not expecting to receive it. She buys me clothes on a whim, suggests a dinner date or something of that nature. All because she simply wants to, not because it's Valentines Day or anything else.

Good behavior is rewarded, no matter what day of the week it is.

Works for us.

 

[5string]

Good for you 5String.

I'll be picking up a pair of cupcakes (actual cupcakes, that's not a euphemism) that my wife loves on the way home. That'll set me back $3. I'll probably give her a handwritten card and cook some fish and potatoes which she loves.

We're of the same mindset though 5String. No need for gifts on holidays and birthdays unless it's something unique or special and the timing is right. A gift out of the blue gets a much better reaction then one brought to you by Hallmark.

Thanks sam

Cupcakes are good and that's cool you'll cook her dinner. They love that don't they?

My wife loves seafood. A couple weeks ago, I told her not to worry about dinner a particular night. Made her a large shrimp ****tail. Salad in the bottom, baby shrimp in the middle and prawns all around the edge of the ****tail glass. All smothered in ****tail sauce. Served it up to her with some crispy bread and red wine. She'd been great and deserved it. Her friends get all jealous and she loves it.

Just did it cuz I wanted to which made it much more special.

The younger guys on here should take heed of this. If your girl has stepped up and has been good to you, you need to reward that. The dividends are huge.

 

[5string]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174035

Just for you samspade. Give it a shot.

 

[backbreaker]

in the never ending war that is marriage, this is just one of those strategic battles that aren't worth fighting IMHO. if i were hell bent on not doing anything for VD she would go along with it, but then she would have to hear it from all her friends about why I didn't do such and such and why she realizs that well, she's married and they aren't, still it's just not worth it. she does very well, i don't see the point in making this a standing ground for the sake of it. plus I kinda like VD honestly, call me a romantic. plus we have a son and i like making half legiable stick men VD cards with him for his momma

 

[speed dawg]

We give each other cards. I'm sure if we didn't have small kids we'd go out to dinner or something (but only because we both like to eat!).

Glad my wife sees things my way as far as Valentine's Day, engagement rings, all that other marketed nonsense. Amazing how women just accept your POV as long as you have internalized it. She doesn't really talk to other girls about it either apparently so she doesn't have to deal with putting up with other girls' sh*t.

We did watch Real Housewives of Orange County though. Call me crazy, but I get a kick out of that show.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

I was in different grocery stores and drug stores yesterday around 7pm and I noticed A LOT of guys crammed in the gift card aisles "scrounging" for Valentine's Day cards.

When I saw this, two things came to mind:

1. How many of these guys who were buying these cards REALLY wanted to buy them? How many of these guys were in wack-assed relationships and were shopping for cards at the last minute "just to keep the peace"?

2. Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was playing over the store's speakers in the background while I was at Walgreens, and then it occurred to me:

The Valentine gift card aisle would probably be a good place for guy-hungry chicks to find men who're tired, bored, or disinterested enough in their relationships to give THEM an opportunity to steal them away from their current wives or girlfriends.

However, on the other hand, as we all know...the day and/or weekend AFTER Valentine's Day is when we guys have an easier time finding and hooking up with WOMEN who are in the similar types of relationship situations.

 

[NSUballer]

I just so happen to revisit the site recently and once again Victory is here commenting on the very subject I was interested in.

I was one of those guys who was buying flowers last minute. She complained they looked dead but they were nice, i thought so at least, certainly not anywhere close to dead.

I also bought her sushi, which she did not like, and took her to a movie that she had wanted to see. She also complained that she had to tell me what movie she wanted to see.

The worst part of the day is her texting me while I am busy working (Outside Sales/driving around talking to potential customers all day) saying she was so disappointed because all the girls at work got their VDay surprises that morning, jewelry flowers etc. and she said one girl felt sorry for her and brought her some cupcakes.

I could not afford to pay to send flowers to her at work because I just started a new job (great company good pay) and do not get paid for two more weeks.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo NSUballer,

It's a real "Joy-Stealer" when you find yourself buying gifts and showing acts of appreciation to someone who seems unappreciative, isn't it? I believe it's the entitlement-laden, obligatory nature of these kind of holidays that some guys find off-putting.

However, I do believe that there's nothing's better than when BOTH people in a relationship openly, freely, and BOLDLY display their appreciation for each other in intangible AND TANGIBLE ways------just because they WANT to. And I don't necessarily see a whole lot of merit in making that have to be one specific, sensationalized day of the year.

I believe if more couples engaged in romantic display "reciprocity" throughout the year, then what happens on ONE heavily advertised "holiday" wouldn't be the litmus test of the true health of their relationship.

Honest acts of appreciation are great, but I'm definitely NOT a big fan of "putting ON" acts.

In my view, that Kinda defeats the supposed purpose of honoring someone for their "romantic contributions" to your life.

RESPECT.

 

[NSUballer]

Joy Stealer is the most appropriate description I can think of. A similar thing happened on New Years Eve. We made a year on Jan 2 and decided to celebrate both on New Years Eve.

Well, at that point I worked at a car dealership with no car, so she had to come get me at 6PM. While trying to explain to her how to get to the dealership, because she is directionally retarded, she gets pi$$ed and hangs up on me twice when I am trying to explain how to get there after she tells me she is lost basically, though she was in the vicinity but would not listen long enough to let me help her.

So at this point she is very annoyed, and I am waiting for her with flowers a card and wine she likes with reservations at a nice pricey restaurant. She had a really bad attitude and didnt really act happy to see me or even give at least a pretend appreciation for what I had done.

I am at the point now that I really just want to end it but I know its going to hurt her. That is the worst part for me, making her feel upset. I on the other hand have done a complete 180 with my life now with a great job and nice car, all within the past month.

 

[zekko]

I was one of those guys who was buying flowers last minute. She complained they looked dead but they were nice, i thought so at least, certainly not anywhere close to dead.

I also bought her sushi, which she did not like, and took her to a movie that she had wanted to see. She also complained that she had to tell me what movie she wanted to see.

Dude, I've known girls like this. Major red flag.
Sounds like you did more for her than most guys on here did and yet she was completetly unappreciative. Apparently she wasn't raised with the proper manners to show gratitude when someone gives her a gift. That's exhibiting a big sense of entitlement to criticize a gift someone gives you. You didn't have to give her anything. Very bad sign.

Oh, and just for the record, my girl and I usually exchange a card and a small practical gift. Yeah, it's a bit of Hallmark manipulation but it's not that big a deal.

 

[NSUballer]

. Sure, she'll be hurt, but based on what you've told me her interest in you is low, or she wouldn't take risks with her attitude like that. I hope that makes sense.

Quite the opposite, actually. She has told me she wants to marry me and have my children and I have never told her anything like that.

Also, this past weekend we went to two parades. Friday night I got really drunk and pretty much left her with her friends and did my own thing. Supposedly I kissed another girl in front of her and I disappeared and a girl ansered my phone. I dont recall those events because of my drunkeness, but i'm skeptical.

The next night we went to a parade with my friends. I pretty much did my own thing again and left her to her own devices.

My point is this, I have never really been subservient to her I just let her make me feel guilty about the bull$hit she said. I didnt make much money and never got her jewelry and got her flowers only a few times. So all in all I never really gave her much in that sense.

Now that I think about it though all of the $hit that happened the past year has really shown me it cannot last because we just are not a good match. I do care about her and I can honestly say I love her, but I am not nor have I ever been IN love with her.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

To NSU:

Having a girl is an investment. This girl is not bringing anything to table but negativity. She is selfish and is digging your pockets for change. I hope she is at least a dime for you to be putting up with this crap. She's holding you back playa and you haven't been acting like a man. If you were then you wouldn't be having these problems.

To OP:

Only when I have a wifey is when I'll celebrate VDay. She however better not expect anything fancy. Dinner and a movie better do. If she's not with that then she can scram.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You guys want to know the overwhelming feeling I had Monday?

Despair.

Gut-clenching, as powerful as if I hadn't taken my morning dump in a month, despair. Despair for the he-b!tches scampering for that perfect card. The perfect box of chocolates. The perfect fvcking flower.

For whom? The perfect girl? They have no sense of what it is to RESPECT a woman who's worth his efforts. They boil down to diarrheatic attempts to gain favor for sexual reciprocity.

It's pathetic.

Mrs. K. knows how special she is. Not from what I buy her, but how she lights up each morning. How Tuesday morning she came out of our bedroom to find a plate of heart shaped pancakes, a great cup of coffee in her favorite Eeyore mug, and a humorous card.

I came home from work to a scavenger hunt built on post-it notes throughout the house. My gifts were a handmade photo collage of our lives, this past year. Cheeseburgers for dinner (we're both lo-carb eaters), the night ended with a long walk with our dogs, a longer shower together, an episode of Family Guy, then we lulled each other to sleep (the dogs passed out far earlier in between us in bed).

We appreciate each other enough to care and respect each other's time.

Those sycophantic d!cksqueezers mindlessly trolling the card aisle the day before, are walking dead with no hope for a future.

 

[5string]

You guys want to know the overwhelming feeling I had Monday?

Despair.

Gut-clenching, as powerful as if I hadn't taken my morning dump in a month, despair. Despair for the he-b!tches scampering for that perfect card. The perfect box of chocolates. The perfect fvcking flower.

For whom? The perfect girl? They have no sense of what it is to RESPECT a woman who's worth his efforts. They boil down to diarrheatic attempts to gain favor for sexual reciprocity.

It's pathetic.

Mrs. K. knows how special she is. Not from what I buy her, but how she lights up each morning. How Tuesday morning she came out of our bedroom to find a plate of heart shaped pancakes, a great cup of coffee in her favorite Eeyore mug, and a humorous card.

I came home from work to a scavenger hunt built on post-it notes throughout the house. My gifts were a handmade photo collage of our lives, this past year. Cheeseburgers for dinner (we're both lo-carb eaters), the night ended with a long walk with our dogs, a longer shower together, an episode of Family Guy, then we lulled each other to sleep (the dogs passed out far earlier in between us in bed).

We appreciate each other enough to care and respect each other's time.

Those sycophantic d!cksqueezers mindlessly trolling the card aisle the day before, are walking dead with no hope for a future.

Very very cool Karma and spot on. You and your wife are both lucky! Plus, I admire your attitude on the subject.

Don't be a stranger on the forum, and give your dogs a pat on the head from Uncle 5string.

 

[vatoloco]

I don't do Valentine's Day, lol.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Quite the opposite, actually. She has told me she wants to marry me and have my children and I have never told her anything like that.

Wasn't it Rollo that had an article saying that a woman telling you that she wants to marry you pretty much means that the relationship is over? This always sticks out to me because...it happened to me!

Supposedly I kissed another girl in front of her and I disappeared and a girl ansered my phone. I dont recall those events because of my drunkeness, but i'm skeptical.

And this is what came next, her trying to shift the blame to me. Trying to make out that I was cheating.

My point is this, I have never really been subservient to her I just let her make me feel guilty about the bull$hit she said. I didnt make much money and never got her jewelry and got her flowers only a few times. So all in all I never really gave her much in that sense.

That's what YOU think.

Now that I think about it though all of the $hit that happened the past year has really shown me it cannot last because we just are not a good match. I do care about her and I can honestly say I love her, but I am not nor have I ever been IN love with her.

You're wasting hers and your own time. I'd finish this now because sure as damnit she's going to! I'd say you're 2 months away from a 'break'. By the way, she already has a new guy lined up.

Tread carefully and all the best soldier!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

This forum -- sometimes I do not understand how it can be both such an amazing thing and sometimes also so depressing! Hah! Great thread genuinely a motivational and inspiring post by all those who are happy and not complaining about wh0res and slvts.

I know there are good people out there, I am working to be a solid man -- this is the way to solid things.

Hope you guys have lots more positive down-to-earth experiences! Those women are lucky to have you also!