what can I do?!?

[Bose Rocks]

(sry for the length of my post, Im providing as much info as reasonably possible and necessary, imo, in hopes that it will reap better feedback.)

ok... so, there is this girl who I have liked for a good... 3 years going on 4.
I mean, I am crazy about her :crazy: ... we share the same interests, its ridiculous how much we have in common... we live in the same town, go to seperate schools, so our means of communication has been limited to mostly IMing and emails... so about 7 months ago we started talking via AIM and etc. (up until then I had always come across as the shy guy who hardly said anything, due to the fact that I am soo incredibly infatuated by her... )
in this 7 month period I think our average amount of talking via AIM per day has been... around 6 hours a day.. more so on weekends... I mean, we really click....
so, naturally, she eventually suggested that we hang out, and the response was a resounding YES on my part... her suggestion was to go to our community college(where we both are planning to go) and walk and talk... eat on campus....then go to her house and watch a movie.... and thats pretty much it...
Well, as soon her car entered my vision... all that confidence I had been mustering up, started slipping away...very quickly.... the moment she got out of her car, everything went down the drain... my heart skipped a beat, my body went completely dead numb save for the unnerving chills that coursed throughout my entire being alongside the steady unrelenting throbbing of my heart... and I had to, consciously, remind myself to breathe...
basically I went catatonic, or aware but incoherent.... I mean, completely head over heels, the whole shabang... my fun loving, witty self metamorphosed itself into a board...
Needless to say, the next day she essentially said that she's attracted to the person I am online(coherent), but in person(incoherent), there's nothing there... so after this, she lost that interest in me, and doesn't really see me much more than just a friend as of now... which, unfortunately, Ive heard is very difficult to change....
My question is, what on earth can I do?!?! anything... no matter how hard.. Im prepared to put myself through hell for this girl.... Its just, if given the opportunity to grow more accustom to being around her, to be myself around her, I believe she would like that person... a lot... ADVICE IS MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

 

[Moly]

read the book of pook and the dj bible, they have al the answers you need

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

 

[PhunGar]

move on

If you can't act confident when talking to her
then don't try it on the internet, don't be someone your not on the internet beucase it will make it harder to convey that across in real life.
and the fact taht youve liked her for almost 4 years is rather sad

read the dj bible

 

[boogieman2188]

I talk to the girl I've liked for quite some time on AIM as well. That about our only means of conversing other than text messages.

I say that you've portrayed yourself on AIM as someone who you're really not in person. She was expecting someone totally different than the Bose Rocks she really met.

If you're really wanting out of the friends zone, good luck to you my friend. I've been down that round and somewhat succeeded, but I'm not much of a believer. I think moving on is the best idea. And next time you meet a girl and talk to her via internet, don't be someone you're really not.

Either that, or read the DJ Bible and practice things to get your confidence up because you're lacking incredibly.

Hope this helps.

 

[Vice]

Damage control time.

First mistake? Spending so much time talking to her on AIM. It shows that you don't have much better things to do than sit on the computer for long periods of time.

Second mistake? You made her too important. If you were talking with other girls and hanging out with other girls, you wouldn't have cared as much.

My advice: Tell her that you think being friends would be a great idea. Build up your confidence, hang out with other girls, and hang out with her every one or two weeks, as friends. Approach girls in front of her.

Remember, you don't want to be sitting in bed as an old man, regretting that you spent four years of your young adult life cooing over one girl and wasting hundreds of hours talking to her rather than laying dozens of girls and spending less wasted time on the computer.

 

[marines_hooorah]

Next time YOU should make the date, not her. And, remember it is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

 

[DismantleRepair]

Bro, you gotta move on.

#1. Don't talk to girls you are interested via instant messaging programs. If you ever do, communication should be brief and for 'administration' things like date reminders. If you'd rather have her there in real life talking to you, ASK HER OUT.

Im prepared to put myself through hell for this girl.... Its just, if given the opportunity to grow more accustom to being around her, to be myself around her, I believe she would like that person

#2. You have invested far too much emotional energy into this girl. You are talking about changing yourself for her, rather than yourself. That is supplication of the lowest order.

This relationship has ended in a trainwreck, but you can learn a lot from it. Start with the DJ Bible.

 

[gmillar]

If you aren't comfortable around her, you will accomplish nothing. Being "infatuated" is not helping you. What you need is face time, and no, your monitor is not a face. Get her out to coffee with you, just put in the time, casual conversation, this will help you with her and with everyone else. Most importantly, put yourself in the mindset that you're only hanging out with her just to have a decent person to talk to. Any further motives and you will be constantly second-guessing yourself and over thinking everything. Life is not something that can be studied, you don't need tactics, techniques, or strategies, you need instincts, and these only come with time.