What are your go to coping strategies with negative emotions?

Stanley

Stanley

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I'd like to start a discussion

-TLDR Below if you don’t wanna read-
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In recent months I find myself being more on the whole angry,
primarily at society and myself. Early on in taking the red pill the rage was misdirected, but subsided with reflection and engaging in healthy discourse and coping mechanisms. I’m a firm believer in sublimation and taking negative emotions and redirecting them to something positive. Anger and spite can be a great short term motivator to get **** done, but I do believe long term holding on to such feelings will result in bitterness and discontentment with one’s self and life as a whole.

I’ve more or less always been in a state of self improvement and often completely ignore other aspects of my life. I spent my adolescence honing my craft and becoming competent, but at the cost of having a lackluster social life and ‘missing out’ in many respects. As I emerged from two extremely taxing years full of immense hardship and loss I’ve come out feeling much stronger and older, the amount of growth was tremendous. Now, as I gain my footing in the world and actively acknowledge where I lack and address insecurities directly this in turn creates an internal ‘dissonance’. As I undo years of conditioning and adjust my mental schema to better reflect the person I strive to be the emotion of (you guessed it!) repressed anger emerges.

As I removed myself from negative influences and people lacking in drive, I in turn felt more motivated to achieve something. Being completely out of the game for a while certainly had an effect on my motivation as well. However, my recent dealings with women have made me resentful to an extent and distrustful. My will power with women has been tested of late. A girl I genuinely liked and was seeing ****ed with my head a months back and ended up ghosting me, after doing ‘everything right’ (first time being ghosted ever). After reading into attachment theory among other things I concluded from my end that she was a fearful avoidant and good chance was BPD, but thats just my armchair psychologist rationalization. I later saw her on tinder and my ego took a blow and while I know a man shouldn’t judge his self worth based on a woman’s rejection, it still stung. At this point in time I was already motivated and focused solely on myself, but WOW did this interaction light a fire under my ass like never before. Now months since I've last seen this chick I've grown tremendously in my pursuits. My workouts exploded and my testosterone has been skyrocketing. I spend all day everyday in a state of constant improvement and others in my life have noticed. I like this quote ↓

“Breakups make bodybuilders” - Tom Platz

I’ve cut out all vices with contextual exceptions ( i.e going out with friends for social events) and making an effort to test my comfort zone daily. Yet, as I improve in many facets of my life I find the anger remains. Part of me fears I will use the knowledge and underlying anger I have and take advantage of others, particularly women. I’ve seen it time and time again, the scorn man who goes about a Sherman’s March to the Sea of sorts with women. I can already feel myself going down that path and with some new emerging opportunities in my life the temptation (if I partake) could easily lead to self destruction. I want to dip my toes in the water and make up for lost time, yet remain steadfast in my pursuit of excellence. This eternal dissonance has led to a palpable degree of negative emotions within me. My own potential intimidates me and the options before me at times paralyze me.

-So I return to my question-
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-TLDR-
What are your preferred coping mechanisms when dealing with negative emotions? What exchange/interaction prompted you to better yourself drastically? Have you made rash decisions in anger you later regretted? Did you allow the scorn of rejection to build you up? Or did it tear you down? Did your anger subside?

I am in particular interested in hearing what the 'older' DJ's have to say
 
Fortune_favors_the_bold

Fortune_favors_the_bold

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It depends on the negative emotions, the dangerous ones are the low energy types.

Anger is not a pleasable emotions but the load of energy can be used to achieve goals, especially sport and action related.
Anger makes you bold and fearless, it makes your perceiving of danger much lower.

The problem is when you are sad or depressed cause those low energy states can eat you from the inside.

In my opinion the best plan of action is direct the energy toward your purpose in the first case and release it under control.

The second type is tricky to handle, hard to say what to do beside trying to turn it into the first type.
 
Stanley

Stanley

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Fortune_favors_the_bold said:
The second type is tricky to handle, hard to say what to do beside trying to turn it into the first type.
Click to expand...
I agree.

Whenever I meet a guy that is young and angry I take on a Socratic approach. Why are you angry? What is the root cause? Are you turning that anger into action (hopefully healthy) and so forth. I become concerned with those who have 'blind' anger, in that for whatever reason they are unable to identify the cause or more likely unwilling to identify it. These are the men that concern me. Those lacking in drive and motivation in low spirits. These can in some cases turn into extremes and I believe there is nothing more dangerous than a man who is lonely, angry and entitled. Unbridled rage is of no use, but turning that frustration into growth is an amazing thing and I think a mature man knows how utilize this asset like no other.
 
BillyPilgrim

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You have to actively patrol your emotional state and thought processes and get in the practice of endeavoring to reduce them in real time. It takes practice but you get better with it over time.
 
BillyPilgrim

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You have to actively patrol your emotional state and thought processes and get in the practice of endeavoring to reduce them in real time. It takes practice but you get better with it over time.

For example, right now I found myself getting annoyed with the 60-second wait between posts so I made myself do a short meditation.

And FFS stop phucking with the fonts OP.
 
BillyPilgrim

BillyPilgrim

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Fortune_favors_the_bold said:
It depends on the negative emotions, the dangerous ones are the low energy types.

Anger is not a pleasable emotions but the load of energy can be used to achieve goals, especially sport and action related.
Anger makes you bold and fearless, it makes your perceiving of danger much lower.

The problem is when you are sad or depressed cause those low energy states can eat you from the inside.

In my opinion the best plan of action is direct the energy toward your purpose in the first case and release it under control.

The second type is tricky to handle, hard to say what to do beside trying to turn it into the first type.
Click to expand...
We need more angry people in Scandinavia these days.
 
Modern Man Advice

Modern Man Advice

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First, understand them. Most "negative" emotions are a natural part of being a human being. Therefore, we mustn't ignore them or push them away but the opposite, embrace them and understand why they exist.

In your case, anger can go both ways. But if it is triggered/directed at society as a whole then there is an underlying issue that you must confront and dissolve first. What about society do you hate/dislike? And what is it about yourself that makes you angry?

I agree that "turning" negative emotions into positive ones is unrealistic. I consider them part of the Disney mentality society has on the world and its complexities. I would try to fully understand them and take time to have a more mindful approach to your emotions than a reactive approach. As mentioned in the beginning, emotions are natural, this includes "negative" and positive ones.

A key component of emotional maturity and intelligence is the ability to know and embrace your emotions. That way you are mindful when they are triggered. The opposite of that is going through life reacting on the spot to each leaving you climbing up a wall and often redirecting your response in deconstructive ways. Hence mass shootings, etc. The core of the mass shootings problem is mental health, not guns.

To your questions:

I've taken (and continue to take) a lot of time in nature alone. Stargazing, camping, backpacking, etc, always help me be with myself, confront and wrap myself up in my existence, and face my emotions. Nature has a way of allowing you to find the answers you are looking for. However, there are many ways to have that safe space, for some is music, swimming in open water, walking, etc. These are all forms of meditation, although not traditional, which you can also practice. Breathwork is key.

Like many of us, I suffered from anger, depression, and suicidal thoughts. And came close many times. Heartbreak, family tragedies, negative influences, and simply puberty, just hit me hard. Many of those times I directed my anger toward myself and my family. And sometimes kids at school. I, obviously, regret causing so much pain but I cannot change the past. Nor I can change the future. But I can change the present, which is why most of us here chose the path of self-development, spiritual growth, embracing and nourishing our masculine energy to uplift ourselves and those around us.

Part of what makes you a man is the never-ending journey to know thy self. Master thy self: rise and uplift. Never give up, never surrender as Spartans would say.
 
Stanley

Stanley

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Modern Man Advice said:
In your case, anger can go both ways. But if it is triggered/directed at society as a whole then there is an underlying issue that you must confront and dissolve first. What about society do you hate/dislike? And what is it about yourself that makes you angry?
Click to expand...
Primarily western society and its complete collapse of morality and the state of intersexual affairs is disheartening to say the least. Gynocentrism and modern 'feminism' has caused many men (especially young men) to feel inadequate, alienated and lost. A victim mentality is a waste of time and I believe a man must take accountability as much as he is humanly possible and pick himself up from his bootstraps and defy societies vice grip, but it seems most men do not undertake that degree of responsibility and instead self loathe in anger. That bums me out. It saddens me to see men lose their masculinity and undertake a feminine imperative fed to them since birth. I have no anger with women at large since it isn't a modern woman's fault for being raised in a society with a very feminine agenda. They know no better. Just as most, modern men know no better... That said, the women who have been involved with me of late further reinforce a lot of negative beliefs I held and showcase how rare a 'quality' women is.

Delusion is at an all time high, narcissism is ever present and growing, people are spending less time in reality and more time in there own digital solipsism's seeking attention and validation, this applies to both sexes, but moreso women. Brotherhood is a rare commodity and often times shunned by mainstream media. Stances which oppose the status quo are silenced even if there is sound logic and merit behind said claim. Agenda pushing and indoctrination of the youth has gotten out of hand. All the usual **** about social conformity and my concern for men and their mental health on the whole. In a way, a lot of my resentment towards society at large comes from a place of empathy.

I confront and accept my emotions, but I also can use that energy as a catalyst to personal growth. The anger directed towards myself was based primarily on the premise of not living up to the expectations I had for myself. I understand I still have a lifetime before me, but occasionally the missed opportunities surface in my mind and the bitterness and anger bubble up. I acknowledge it, sit with it, challenge these thoughts and then act upon them. I cant recall a time where I've taken my own personal battles and lashed out at others, so if I have lingering feelings I do my best to redirect that energy elsewhere. I like the struggle and the hurt only makes you stronger as cheesy as it sounds lol. In the few months I've been on this forum I've noticed two camps, those who have overcome their bitterness and those who have not. I think this site attracts many scorn frustrated men who come here to undertake personal growth and think that's awesome.
 
M

MtmVaott

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BillyPilgrim said:
You have to actively patrol your emotional state and thought processes and get in the practice of endeavoring to reduce them in real time. It takes practice but you get better with it over time.
Click to expand...
How did you get into the habit?
 
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