What am I missing?

[Wallace030]

So I've been reading the DJ Bible. I'm about halfway through it and I feel that I've got a pretty good grasp on it. I've been happier, more confident and focusing more on myself since I've been reading. However I know I still have alot to learn.

Rewind a couple weeks back. I was at a karaoke bar (I'm an excellent singer btw). I met this chick. Honestly, looks wise, she's my perfect woman. She's a cute red head with long legs. Anyways we sang a song together. We chatted for a bit and I got her number.

Fast forward to earlier today. I'm trying to figure out what to do tonight, but everyone felt like being boring today and none of my friends wanted to do anything or were broke. Miraculously, after I had given up all hope of going out, I get a text from the girl from two weeks ago saying she's going up to the karaoke bar again with her friend.

So I meet them up there. We're singing and having a good a time. I'm getting some kino in. Another guy friend of there's shows up. She's all over this guy. Now, I don't mean to be ****y but I'm definitely better looking than this guy. Also more fun. This guy is seriously a bump on a log. He did absolutely nothing but for some reason she was all about this guy after he showed up. He was also very awkward.

Now don't get me wrong. While I am a little frustrated, I not super pissed about it. I do have other girls to choose from. As a matter of fact I'm meeting up with another one tomorrow. I'm just flabbergasted, how this girl is attracted to this guy over me.

 

[jay07]

she was more comfortable with him.

the thing is he's probably in the friend zone but doesn't know it. so she's sitting their trying to dhv to you and you probably let it frustrate you.

she's an attention who're and you had a few cards you could have played.

A). hit on her friend. best one, she woulda jumped all over you
B) ignored the other guy grabbed her and did another song. wish washy though depending on how she feels about you.
or what I would have done..
C) after a few minutes of taking that crap after she invited you out, buy a round of drinks for everybody, make good friends with the dude while ignoring her attempts, then said your byes and left

 

[pyros]

You seem too naive.
This other guy could be:
a) ex FWB
b) current FWB (eventhough you say you're better looking etc,so what?)
c) guy she's interested in.

In any case, she has higher interest in this other guy and she barely knows you. What's the problem? build rapport and aske her out, then you'll find your answer.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Regarding "kino", many guys create tension and blow it by looking at the target area before touching.

This telegraphs tension and insecurity to her. When another guy comes along with a more comfortable aura she's going to switch over to him.

This kino creepiness is most often done by guys who talk about "kino" instead of "touching", I've noticed.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

You say you are reading the DJ Bible but are surprised a girl chose a guy who isn't as good looking as you? Game > Looks
Your looks may be a nice way to get a girl interested off the bat but a lack of game, or needy/desperate personality will turn her off really quick.

I hate karaoke bars and I would rather slit my wrists and bleed out painfully than go in one again, but regardless, I wouldn't have accepted the "date" for several reasons. She probably wasn't as interested in you as you think, and most likely had some idea this other guy was going to show up too. I think it's a mistake to go on a group date so early on, especially if you only focus on one girl.

You don't realize it now, but you could have had better luck in the long term by texing her "I can't make it tonight, but let's get together later" and staying home playing PS3 than agreeing to her plans. I never accept dates when the girl is with her friends because it is way too much BS to deal with. When I get one on one with the girl it's an entirely different story.

If it was an invite to a party, or you came with a few of your friends, it would be different, but I think where you ultimately failed was pursing her specifically instead of flirting/pursuing her friends as well. I hate dealing with girl's friends so I try to avoid putting myself in situations where I need to do that.

 

[Rival]

sounds like she could have been using you to make the other dude jelly. Something sounds sketch. Ditto what the others said, shes know him longer and/or slept with him.

 

[Wallace030]

@Starfvck It wasn't even his looks so much. He just brought absolutely nothing to the group. He was just a quiet, awkward guy. I guess my main question was, what did he have that I didn't. Also this isn't the first time something like this has happened. A GF of mine a few years back cheated on me with one of my "friends" and he was alot like this guy from last night. Just kind of there. A "bump on a log" like I said earlier. What is it about these dudes?

 

[The_411]

Lots of things could have happened here. Bottom line is that you are giving off a vibe that you are too interested.

It's quite possible that she was testing you when the friend showed to see if you got upset when she gave him attention. This other guy may be a sex god for all you know or perhaps he's been able to maintain frame and she's been chasing him endlessly.

It's human to compare but my recommendation is not get caught in think you are better than someone even if you truly feel it because it doesn't matter. You are falling into her frame by worrying about some other dude. If she's acting that way flirt with other women and look for someone who is into you. Chances are she's either not into you, she's not over the other guy, or she wants to s-test you.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

I guess my main question was, what did he have that I didn't.

History.

Also this isn't the first time something like this has happened. A GF of mine a few years back cheated on me with one of my "friends" and he was alot like this guy from last night. Just kind of there. A "bump on a log" like I said earlier. What is it about these dudes?

I've been that "bump on a log" guy going home with a hot girl after watching other guys aggressively hitting on her the entire night. You can do a LOT by barely doing anything at all, if you are aware of what you are and aren't doing. You don't know what this guy had, but you also don't know what he LOST and doesn't have.
Of course i'm hypocritical when I (or anyone) says not to compare yourself to other guys, but really, don't compare yourself to other guys. Observe and watch the interactions play out, but don't ever get jealous or bitter when a guy gets a girl over you. You have to respect the game to learn it.

I know that scenario sucks, but it's still a win for you because it's a personal experience you had and can learn from.