What actually brought you to SS???

playa99

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When I say the issues what brought you to SS, I actually don't mean oneitis

As bad of a disease that is, I actually think the to become that obsessive over just one girl, you gotta have other issues as well.. Not saying everyone does, just saying it was definitely the case with me...

It's took me a long time to realise what made me the way I was.. Basically my over protective father when my mum passed away, left me cocooned with no sense of self, I've realised that now, and I'm finally making massive progress in all aspects of life..

You can't control other people but you can control you..

Oneitis wise.. I thought I loved a girl who treated me so bad.. I wasn't with her and was completely infatuated, seems a million miles away now but at the time I was crushed !

I wanna get a nice thread going here... Was a massive breaking point to being a DJ when I realised what was making me. AFC
 

killacam757

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Basically being raised by a single mother and watching her being abused in multiple relationships. She taught me that all the AFC traits were how you courted women, which in her day and age might have been true (baby boom generation) but in 2013 it is the fastest way to crash and burn. Its taken me quite a few fails to realize I was the problem. But thank god I'm here sooner than later. (I'm 22)
 

Scars

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Failing with women, and being an AFC virgin.

-Scars
 

Swampcamel

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No adequate male role models in my life, my pops is king among AFCs in most every aspect of life. Everything I've read as don't-do's from PUA literature, I can dig up some memory of my father acting the same way in family, work or social life. Totally whipped by his woman, totally ineffective in conversation, always trying to suck up and impress without having anything in his personal life by which he could be proud. Impressing with niceness and courtesy and manners. This likely came from him being raised in a Mormon household, which he raised my family in for 13 years before him and my mother both left it.

I rejected that very early in life, early teenage years when my parents got divorced, but that was only the prerequisite to self-actualization. My family moved around a lot, so I had a big sense of loss growing up when it came to friends, which eventually led me to extreme dedication to the girls I dated, and clinging to them for as long as I could so not to experience the loss of intimacy again.

My dad's failures in life created a strong fear of failure in me for a long time. At times, I would overwork myself and dedicate all my energy into projects, being an ultra-perfectionist on anything I took seriously, but as soon as a difficult problem emerged, I would drop the project, drop the class, drop my interest and investment as a way to avoid facing seeing a project fail despite all best efforts. This was and sometimes though in greater rarity is the biggest issue with me and why I sought out a network. This sort of complex spills into my dating life, dropping an interaction with a girl at the slightest hint that it's not going the way I want it to, or not trying an approach at all because the elements of the set and setting aren't giving me some sort of advantage.

Basically, kind of a confidence issue in fear of failure, but more needing to become accustomed to failed attempts and not caring, not judging myself for results. It's like working out, I know this, and all the good material here helps me reinforce these ideas and push me toward my goals.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Beowolf

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I was searching for the truth concerning a BPD woman I was involved with, why, and how to proceed. Knights Cross thread intially launched me toward total recovery, and I would like to publicly thank him here, along with all the others, for saving me a ****load of time and money I would have wasted on her and others.
 
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Liveupstairs

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I went to Vegas about a month ago with my buddies. A new friend I met for the first time, Sam called himself a DJ. I have pretty good success with women, but no where near his level of ons's fb's etc... He pretty much said that being a DJ is easy, but it just takes time, determination, patience... so i started reading online, then i stumbled onto brad's posts on ss. eye-opening.... i've never looked back...
 

TheStig

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I'd say it was when I realized people started to think it was odd that I've never been in any kind of relationship with a girl at the age I was/am, because I was part of the 'cool' (haha) jock crowd in high school, and am athletic and decent looking lol.

It really struck me on my 19th birthday though. My grandma was telling me that when she was 19 she had my mom and had been married for a year, and how times have really changed. I didn't really think too much of it at first because I knew in the 50s times were in fact, very different. But as I thought more about what she said, it opened my eyes to how little I was doing as far as pursuing anyone of the opposite sex (nothing).

I've never had a huge drive to chase after girls because it always seemed like a waste of time/too much work, and I was always caught up in other things. In other words, I had a life which didn't include chasing poon lol. I've been a 3 sport athlete all throughout school (football, basketball, baseball), and that took up a ton of my time. With the time I had to myself I was off with my friends, lifting, playing drums, (been playing since I was 9, I'm 21 now and still play almost everyday), and guitar (been dabbling here and there).

So at some point which I can't exactly remember, I discovered PUAs, and became intrigued, which eventually led me here.
 

Jair213

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after dealing with a bpd I searched for the term on google and somehow out of nowere I found the pook bible witch led me here to the forums. this has bein a life saver.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

VladPatton

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I Googled "is PUA a scam?" and one of the links was SS. I posted a dilemma I was having and have been learning things ever since.
 

GotED?

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The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
I decided to take a hard look at my AFC-phaggot behavior after having my world turned upside down by a BPD-prone woman who really could have destroyed my life and career.

I had to open my naive and innocent 35 years of living in a protected cocoon and realize how messed up women are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For the life of me, I always had the idealistic thought that human beings can heal themselves over time. But thanks to SS and painful past experiences, I have come to the conclusion that it is the exact opposite.

Most women can not overcome their own impulsiveness, need for attention, healing themselves of wounded baggages from the past, and stay the course of knowing what they want out of life. The more I opened my eyes, the more I realized that women IS the lesser sex of the society as they can manipulate for things in life from men THAN learning to work hard and earn for it on their own.

I am not anti-women - I still enjoy being with them and being in relationships. I just now have a deep down B!TCH radar built into my system and will not tolerate any disrespect and bad behavior.

Now all my bros on SS - take heed: Don't let any woman treat you worse than your own dog.

(yes, she can pee on you like a dog would - certainly has happened during hot raw ssexxxxx) :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:


With respect,

Exodus
 

Krueg

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In High School I was really into this blond chick, I was thinking "How the hell can I get with her?" Then, I realized we had access to the inter-webs and googled "How to get a chick to like you?' Came across here around 04' or 05' and mainly been a lurker. Turns out I learned a few things. :D
 

Jair213

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Krueg said:
In High School I was really into this blond chick, I was thinking "How the hell can I get with her?" Then, I realized we had access to the inter-webs and googled "How to get a chick to like you?' Came across here around 04' or 05' and mainly been a lurker. Turns out I learned a few things. :D
wish I had found it around that time
 

MrNiceGuy23

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Never had much difficulty with women in high school until last year when I dealt with the first girl whose actions truly baffled me and literally left me distraught and lost. I found this site, which restored my confidence, and have had many women coming after me ever since.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

bigneil

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I was dating a girl who said I was too big for her and I was wondering if that meant the relationship was over (it lasted more 9 months). So I posted a question.

But at the time I mentioned a small detail to her about researching the problem online, and she secretly did a Google search and FOUND SS and she joined the forum and replied to my post! And someone wrote "Keep you b*tch off the computer!".

NOTE: The name bigneil was my college nickname and was only because there was a littleneil. It does not refer to genital size. That part is just a coincidence.
 

bukowski_merit

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http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=32410

I can't remember. But i do know my first name was Art Love - and that's the first post I made under that name.

So I guess being in a friends with benefit situation with a woman who was being clingy with me after a week brought me here (although it appears i was lurking for a while).

True story - the girl I talk about in the post above became my girlfriend for 5 years (which is right around the time I returned to this site... go figure).
 

Mike32ct

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I would love to read my first post and see what my exact question was, but I can only search back 500 posts :(.

But the long and short of it is I came here because the women thing was such a struggle. I mean it's still not easy, but at least I understand what is going on and what I'm dealing with lol.
 

Zion

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Found the site recently by accident , after I just broke up with my ex 1 month ago.

The 3yLTR with her was great ,but killed what used to be my somewhat natural DJ traits back in highschool. I feel like I lost that potential , so now I'm fighting to re-acquaint with myself. Having the knowledge displayed here will help me out with that , a lot.
 

bukowski_merit

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Mike32ct said:
I would love to read my first post and see what my exact question was, but I can only search back 500 posts :(.

But the long and short of it is I came here because the women thing was such a struggle. I mean it's still not easy, but at least I understand what is going on and what I'm dealing with lol.
This is the thread your first post is in: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=132844

This is your first created thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=163103

Use the search tool instead of just clicking on your name. Then go to advanced. Then search by poster and insert your name (or any posters name). Then go down to "Sort Results by" and pick "Last Posting Date" and "In ascending order"... There you go.. your first posts :)
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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