What about her, Next or FWB?

[shamrockd13]

Hi all, would like an opinion, I will try to be quick.

Met a girl online, very instant communication. We arrange to meet in 2 days. She even agrees to meet at her place. One things leads to another, we f*** our brains out.

In the next days, she often texts first every day as .. in a relationship. Second date after 4 days, again have sex and everything.

During the texts and in person, she keeps praising me and mentions that there is an amazing connection and chemistry which she can’t explain - that is why she proceeded with me so quickly.

I did not pay attention to the red flags such as from online to her place and sex so fast, giving so many compliments to me, and I believe daddy issues. Also, she is a psychology girl, a life coach, good with words and manipulative. Will not lie - I was a little dragged by her looks and our coversations and thought it could lead to something more than a fling. The fact that sometimes I am more tender and caring when I am with a really hot girl, maybe passed the message that I am also the romantic type who wants a relationship and not casual – I did not say something weird, but I assume she read this in my body language.

The next day after our 2nd date, out of the blue she texts me a couple of long texts saying that even though our connection is deep, great etc., she does not categorize it as a romantic relationship. She leaves it vague. Says she would feel lucky if I agreed to be connected via different ways and conversations, without mentioning the word friends, neither benefits.

I replied with “Sure, it’s ok” and did not contact again.

Immediately, the picture clears out for me and I realize that I was dumb enough to even consider her to be something more than casual (the stupid oneitis, cause I do not date much lately). I say that if she returns I will try to see if she is interested in FWB – if she doesn't who cares.

She indeed comes back after 3 days of no contact, and asks if I am ok and if I would like to keep in contact or she should step out. I decided I don’t have something to lose apart from more time in endless texting so I was direct. Told her that that keeping contact for me means dates with wine & sexual fun without any commitments (or sth in that context). She says that she wants to protect my feelings and she does not do casual sex, especially with me who I am very special guy who should not do casual things (lol )… In the end I let her know, that if she changes her mind, she knows where to reach me. She replied that “it does not suit me to be cold, haha”. Then she texts me something different about sth we discussed. Did not reply at all, but I believe she will initiate again.

I am completely cool with whatever happens, but I would be open to play with her a little more – never met a girl who seems to play so much. It would be fun if I could bring her to the point of asking me to go to her place. Twice because the first time will be a rejection.

In general what do you think?

a) Attention Whor** who just wants to lead and play me?

b) I was at fault If I did not seem casual enough and now that I am aloof and cool maybe the table is turning and she starts chasing?

Since I decided I could only use her as FWB, your 2 cents if I could achieve that.

Cheers.

 

[Barrister]

Generally, a first date lay equals only a Fwb at best. This girls sounds like she wants a relationship but only knows how to get to that point by having sex — hence why she jumped in bed with you immediately and then proceeded to praise you as being this “special” guy who she had chemistry with that she “couldn’t explain.” In another words, probably some attachment issues - hence all of the love bombing. I think you try to keep it casual but she likely bails out of the picture sooner than later when she realizes you aren’t interested in a LTR.

And by no means give her an LTR.

 

[darksprezzatura]

When I see a girl:

- move fast
- love bomb
- say stuff about destiny and connections
- really into psychology
- play hot and cold
- get clingy fast

I usually know what I'm dealing with, cuz I've danced many times in hell with these sorts.

Brace yourself, screenshot consent, wrap it up and enjoy the sex while it lasts

 

[shamrockd13]

Thanks for reading the post and for feedback.

Generally, a first date lay equals only a Fwb at best. This girls sounds like she wants a relationship but only knows how to get to that point by having sex — hence why she jumped in bed with you immediately and then proceeded to praise you as being this “special” guy who she had chemistry with that she “couldn’t explain.” In another words, probably some attachment issues - hence all of the love bombing. I think you try to keep it casual but she likely bails out of the picture sooner than later when she realizes you aren’t interested in a LTR.

And by no means give her an LTR.

Is she wants LTR, why the whole act that this is not a romantic relationship and if I want something different? Some kind of sh** test to see how I will react? She could continue enjoying what she was having if she remained silent.

When I see a girl:

- move fast
- love bomb
- say stuff about destiny and connections
- really into psychology
- play hot and cold
- get clingy fast

I usually know what I'm dealing with, cuz I've danced many times in hell with these sorts.

Brace yourself, screenshot consent, wrap it up and enjoy the sex while it lasts

Never been in FWB so new territory for me. Am I handling it right now that I set the ground rules, don’t reply for other kind of chatting, and expect her to invite me over, if she agrees to a casual nature?

 

[derby1]

I am completely cool with whatever happens, but I would be open to play with her a little more – never met a girl who seems to play so much. It would be fun if I could bring her to the point of asking me to go to her place. Twice because the first time will be a rejection.

so shes catstringing you whether she knows it or not, shes messing you about(which is why your on a forum confused-she isnt)

and your going to TRAVEL to her house and reward her for poor behaviour the minute she comes calling....

When women rule the world in 100 years and men are tied up outside on dog leads, dont say you didnt hear it here first.

 

[devilkingx2]

She sounds absolutely fantastic to me but remember that all women are like that, so keep her as a plate/FWB for the next 3 months and see what happens. If she either turns crazy, the honeymoon phase wears off and she stops putting in effort, or she gets bored/finds the new hotness then it's time to next.

If none of that happens in the next few months then I'd totally date her, but it's up to you OP. I'd say most likely the above stuff will happen though.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hi all, would like an opinion, I will try to be quick.

Met a girl online, very instant communication. We arrange to meet in 2 days. She even agrees to meet at her place. One things leads to another, we f*** our brains out.

In the next days, she often texts first every day as .. in a relationship. Second date after 4 days, again have sex and everything.

During the texts and in person, she keeps praising me and mentions that there is an amazing connection and chemistry which she can’t explain - that is why she proceeded with me so quickly.

I did not pay attention to the red flags such as from online to her place and sex so fast, giving so many compliments to me, and I believe daddy issues. Also, she is a psychology girl, a life coach, good with words and manipulative. Will not lie - I was a little dragged by her looks and our coversations and thought it could lead to something more than a fling. The fact that sometimes I am more tender and caring when I am with a really hot girl, maybe passed the message that I am also the romantic type who wants a relationship and not casual – I did not say something weird, but I assume she read this in my body language.

The next day after our 2nd date, out of the blue she texts me a couple of long texts saying that even though our connection is deep, great etc., she does not categorize it as a romantic relationship. She leaves it vague. Says she would feel lucky if I agreed to be connected via different ways and conversations, without mentioning the word friends, neither benefits.

I replied with “Sure, it’s ok” and did not contact again.

Immediately, the picture clears out for me and I realize that I was dumb enough to even consider her to be something more than casual (the stupid oneitis, cause I do not date much lately). I say that if she returns I will try to see if she is interested in FWB – if she doesn't who cares.

She indeed comes back after 3 days of no contact, and asks if I am ok and if I would like to keep in contact or she should step out. I decided I don’t have something to lose apart from more time in endless texting so I was direct. Told her that that keeping contact for me means dates with wine & sexual fun without any commitments (or sth in that context). She says that she wants to protect my feelings and she does not do casual sex, especially with me who I am very special guy who should not do casual things (lol )… In the end I let her know, that if she changes her mind, she knows where to reach me. She replied that “it does not suit me to be cold, haha”. Then she texts me something different about sth we discussed. Did not reply at all, but I believe she will initiate again.

I am completely cool with whatever happens, but I would be open to play with her a little more – never met a girl who seems to play so much. It would be fun if I could bring her to the point of asking me to go to her place. Twice because the first time will be a rejection.

In general what do you think?

a) Attention Whor** who just wants to lead and play me?

b) I was at fault If I did not seem casual enough and now that I am aloof and cool maybe the table is turning and she starts chasing?

Since I decided I could only use her as FWB, your 2 cents if I could achieve that.

Cheers.

Never agree to a friendship with a girl you have slept with or any girl that you feel sexually attracted to for that matter.

Next time, tell her. I'm good, thanks, and wish her the best. Whatever you do, don't get emotional or reactive.

Now this girl, we've all been there. The text that says she doesn't feel anything "romantic". I don't think they know what that means, but who can blame them when that idea has been implanted by Disney and such. This is typical women's behavior, hot and cold. One day she felt it, the next she didn't and she's on to the next prince. It's a toxic cycle that hinders forming any meaningful connection that takes work and commitment.

For being a life coach, she is pretty off about how to engage with men if a relationship is what she genuinely desires.

To your question, she is a FWB at best right now. Although I highly doubt she would agree to that, she has probably already jumped branches.

So my advice: Move on and get used to this type of behavior. Not saying every girl is like that and dating is doomed, but it's pretty common. Especially in OLD. All you can do is enjoy your turn, learn to recognize the red flags, and walk away when the time comes.

Hope it helps.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Willie Naylor]

Women respect men who walk away from them.

Real talk.

 

[shamrockd13]

Thanks for the feedback. Useful stuff.

I have already decided that she is a FWB at best. No need to discuss about this anymore.

An update.

I keep ignoring her but she stills texts. After 24hours she texted again a long message. Highlights:
- she loved our sexual connection
- she was never treated sincerely and gentle and this made her run out.
- our lives are different and she thought this is a gap
- she just wanted me to know these…

Either she just came out directly for the first time or more games to lure me again into her. For sure I think she is messed up emotionally.

Don’t care about that. Have not replied yet.

You think I can insist on turning her to FWB if I play it right? Any ideas how to transit, since it’s new territory for me as I said?
- Repeat what I want more directly or be more playful? I wanna avoid giving her more attention since she will endlessly keep texting and not cutting to the chase which is date and sex.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Thanks for reading the post and for feedback.



Is she wants LTR, why the whole act that this is not a romantic relationship and if I want something different? Some kind of sh** test to see how I will react? She could continue enjoying what she was having if she remained silent.




Never been in FWB so new territory for me. Am I handling it right now that I set the ground rules, don’t reply for other kind of chatting, and expect her to invite me over, if she agrees to a casual nature?

I understand what you mean, just reread this:

Brace yourself, screenshot consent, wrap it up and enjoy the sex while it lasts

 

[Bokanovsky]

You think I can insist on turning her to FWB if I play it right? Any ideas how to transit, since it’s new territory for me as I said? - Repeat what I want more directly or be more playful? I wanna avoid giving her more attention since she will endlessly keep texting and not cutting to the chase which is date and sex.

Forget about trying to "persuade" her to try FWB. This kind of cerebral/direct approach never works with women and is guaranteed to produce the opposite result. If she is sexually attracted to you, all you need to do is to be in the same place where she is and where alcohol is involved (either a party or find an excuse to have her come over for drinks). The chips will then fall into place.

 

[SetinStone22]

With all due respect, you just too soft for the game... She basically sensed it early on and it was almost like as if you tried inquiring what it is and all that-- which would mean u already "lost" in the situation

The point is to give her exactly what she wants, that intense satisfaction, gratification from amazing sex and then leave all the questions unanswered.. she gotta be the one to wonder what else ur like, what ur like in deep conversations, what u would be like on a date, etc.. but u never really give her all that.. until she becomes subservient.. she gotta be the one to pry for all that. Whenever a girl tells you she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, you are the subservient one already.. She's the one who already placed you as the 'aww hes so nice and sweet" ..

At this point homie just hit her up when you want some pleasure.. otherwise dont even talk to her.. She's tryna play you like a damn fool. Went from having sex and keepin it NSA to tellin u she doesnt do casual sex.. she thinks you a complete CHUMP! She's probably got her end game now to string u along while she continues to date other men -- thats what happens to nice guys in the game. Women need that one dude to keep them validated/buttered up and also that dude they can fall back on when the real playa breaks her heart.

You need to get with some real playas who break it down to you proper cuz this aint it church