Went to break up w/ GF.....WTF?

[joverby]

Posted this in my field report but it deserves it's own thread to get some more attention.

For those of you who care, I went for the break up yesterday.

I called her up and she was being short with me and kind of cold(I did kind of blow her off by an hour so maybe that's why who knows). I ask her what's up , of course everything is fine. So I call her back after talking to my buddy about it. Give her the whole "it's not working out" speech.

I end up telling her why, the being denied sex and the hot/cold. She says I wouldn't understand the whole sex thing and it wouldn't matter anyway because I just immediately came out w/ the whole it's not working out. After we keep going in circles of me wanting to know why she would deny me and her not telling I just say well your a cool girl, sorry sh1t got fvcked up w/ us and she just says "whatever" and hangs up.

I text her just saying I think it's pretty fvcked up that she couldnt even say bye but I guess that's just another indicator of how she feels blah blah blah. We go back and forth through texts for a while. I'm being pretty cold / straight to the point w/ all the texts. She eventually tells me she hates to be seen naked and it makes her feel disgusting. And anytime she has sex with me it just occupies her brain and that's all she can think about. She knows I think she's sexy but something happend and that's all she wanted to tell me right then. I just give her some more sh1t saying well that half explains it. She then tells me about something f'd up that happend to her when she was 7. Finally her cutting and other problems she had def make sense. And it's still effecting her to this day, obviously.

I said something about how it wasn't fair to me. And she just threw a whole, so instead of helping me through it your just going to find someone to fvck you. That's love for you. She ended up saying how she loved me and how it hurt her that she poured her heart to me and it's not like she tells everyone that and how I was still being an a$$hole.(I really was but I didn't see it as my problem really) I end up calling her up, she's pretty much bawling the entire time.

We end up reconciling but, IDK. I'm still really confused as what to do myself. Because I obviously want a girlfriend who's going to enjoy fvcking me and want to. I understand she's got a serious and legit issue(even though we've fvcked in the past, just not that often. And she was really insecure about taking off her shirt too. But started to after a few times) So IDK, Don't think I should have to walk on egg shells or have to worry about trying to initiate sex w/ my GF. But I did find out she does love me and doesn't want to lose me...sh1ts jacked up.

Starting to really believe she is BPD now. I've seen the abandonment fear on small scales but starting to make the connection. She probably got thrown threw a loop when it was me was getting tired of the sh1t and wanting to end it(would've never done this previously, would've just whined and asked her why she wasn't being nice) But I think I shouldve just stuck w/ my guns and the "that's not my problem" mentality. (During the text convo she did go from saying how she loved me and couldn't believe I was "Being like that" then when I was still firm and not going all AFC, she even said "**** you" and she didn't need that sh1t. Being the victim)

 

[Vice]

Look for more confident girls. Baristas are usually pretty confident.

Tell her that you're looking for girls that are confident in themselves, if that's what you're REALLY looking for (I'm obviously forcing my own preferences on you, but it also seems like you've discovered what you DON'T want). You'll avoid ALL of these problems. Plus it's fun being able to spar with a girl that is witty.

 

[joverby]

She's witty, just has some deep a$$ issues apparently. And that obviously makes her incompatible on a sexual level, IDK. Never dealt w/ anyone like that before. It's too bad cause she is a really cool chick and I like to hang out w/ her but god damn....

 

[AlexDP]

She is guilt tripping you. She has got very big issues to deal with. And you are not helping her by staying. I know that leaving will be hard, because she will either:

- bug you and start stalking you until you want to cave

or

- move on extremely swiftly and have another guy ready (she's preparing a replacement as we speak, since she knows you want out)

It won't be easy. But you can't help this girl by staying in the relationship. It won't help her deal with her issues. All it rationally does is make you miserable.

 

[joverby]

Ya, she said something about how instead of staying in helping her through it I'm just going to leave to find someone else who will fvck me. I was just thinking you need some professional help w/ that sh1t nothing I could do would help.

I'm going to assume her storys true but I guess it doesn't really matter. Considering she clearly has HUGE issues that have been effecting me for the whole relationship, just figured out why now.(Gotta take a lesson for the future, see certain actions , or lack of them and get your a$$ out of there, becasue the reason doesn't matter)

Going to go over there tonight to tell her I can't deal w/ it and need a girl that can be 100% into me etc. Definitely will have to delete her from my facebook because I have a feeling it will be a swift move on and it's going to be painful for me.

 

[49au]

If she has BPD, your relationship WOULD have end sooner or later anyway. Bank on it. You could be God Almighty and it won't please her.

Even if she doesn't, if she was molested and still has issues from it, that is very unfortunate for her but I don't see why you'd want to stay in the relationship.

 

[joverby]

I was thinking the same 49. I do feel kinda bad but I know I have to realize it's really not my problem that she does and I couldn't help her get through it as much as I wanted to. That is some pretty serious sh1t.

 

[AlexDP]

Yeah just get out, man. I got a 'fvck you' at one point and ignored it because I thought she was just being emotional. A couple of weeks later she threatened to cut off my balls if I ever slept with someone else, to go to the cops and fabricate a story so they'd arrest me and to tell everyone on facebook the "truth" about me.

 

[joverby]

I'm actually kind of scared now. Her dad is a retired cop in our town and has connections to other cities cops too. I know of 2 different people who have "fvcked her over" and had the cops lay some smack down on them becasue of it.

I'll just have to do it without pissing her off too much if that's possible IDK. I completely forgot about that until you told me that. One guy was actually an EX too. IDK how he made it a year with her. On our last break down she told me she went out w/ him for a year and he cheated on her for the last 6 months.

Her dad does like me a lot though, but if she wanted to I know she could easily change his opinion.

 

[Scars]

Unless she is underage what can he do? Arrest you for breaking up with his daughter? If he starts going out of his way to harass you while he's on duty then you can file a claim and get him suspended or fired. His daughter is crazy. Stop making up excuses and just do it already. You should had followed through the first time. I wasted a year and half of my life with a girl who was just like this, and almost had a baby with her (abortion). I left her 5,001 times and then got back with her 5,000 times. Don't make this your routine. Leave and DO NOT look back. This girl is a succubus. They require so much attention that it's emotionally draining. And if you don't give them the attention they want then they go seek it somewhere else and end up cheating on you anyway. Leave before she completely drains and destroys your life completely.

-Scars

 

[joverby]

I know what you're saying , you have to be breaking the law to merit anything. I"m just saying I know of her doing it, she even gave the cop a guys work schedule so he knew when / where he would be to pull him over.

But this is something I got to do. Thanks for telling me what I need to hear. I am going over there tonight to do it.

 

[RockaRolla25]

lol what a wimp. Just ignore her dude. Who cares?

I wonder how many other guys she used the "i hate myself naked" excuse on. LMAO!

You HAVE TO be a troll.

 

[joverby]

Someone doesn't even remotely understand basic psycology or what that type of sh1t can do to a person. IDC, I don't need to justify myself to you. And you clearly didn't read the entire thing, to many words for you?

 

[49au]

Yeah just get out, man. I got a 'fvck you' at one point and ignored it because I thought she was just being emotional. A couple of weeks later she threatened to cut off my balls if I ever slept with someone else, to go to the cops and fabricate a story so they'd arrest me and to tell everyone on facebook the "truth" about me.

I'm really, really happy that my BPD ex isn't the type for that stuff. She's so passive. Guess I'm lucky.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Someone doesn't even remotely understand basic psycology or what that type of sh1t can do to a person. IDC, I don't need to justify myself to you. And you clearly didn't read the entire thing, to many words for you?

I read the whole thing. If you don't want to put up with her behavior, ignore her. Some other chump she can manipulate will fall for it.

Why should you be that chump? It's not your job to "fix" someone. Some people can let ogo of the past, others can't. She can't. No big deal.

 

[Zarky]

haha OP nice "break up." That sounds like something a chick would do. However, it was rather wise, and I've done sort of the same thing myself. Sometimes you gotta lower the hammer to make 'em put out.

So overall good job, but don't call it a "break up." It was you dropping the hammer on a chick who wouldn't put out, in the guise of a break up.

 

[Solomon]

I'm really, really happy that my BPD ex isn't the type for that stuff. She's so passive. Guess I'm lucky.

you're ex is a bdp the same "quality" ex you met of pof?

 

[AlexDP]

I'm really, really happy that my BPD ex isn't the type for that stuff. She's so passive. Guess I'm lucky.

I think my ex isn't coming back any time soon though. She never acted upon her threats and got a new boyfriend soon. That's when she changed her tactics and I suddenly became a so called stalker because I asked her what the fvck was up with her that she was threatening me like that. You know how it goes as soon as they have someone else, they are so absorbed by that person that they tend to "forget" all about you for a while. The Summer might be a problem though, because she always goes on a holiday with her family and boyfriends are usually not allowed. This means she won't see him for two weeks, so she'll probably paint him black because he "abandoned" her. I don't even have her number anymore, so I don't have it blocked either and she can still contact me for now. I have to make sure to block it immediately when that contact does come, because you know how crazymaking they can be.

 

[Warrior74]

Actions not words. Ignore the story, focus on the actions.

 

[49au]

I think my ex isn't coming back any time soon though. She never acted upon her threats and got a new boyfriend soon. That's when she changed her tactics and I suddenly became a so called stalker because I asked her what the fvck was up with her that she was threatening me like that.

That reminds me of another ex that I mentioned in the BPD thread. I dumped her. She called/texted incessantly. She drove by my house all the time. She even barged in one night while I had another girl over, yelled at the girl then smacked the hell out of me. Even after I defriended her, she stalked by Facebook and examined my friends list for new additions and would email me when she saw one.

Then she blocks MY number, blocks ME on Facebook, and starts talking sh1t about me.

And now after a year of NC she's emailing me, and her FB is suddenly completely public, showing off pictures of her and some ugly guy that she's apparently dumped.

And my dumb ass is actually thinking about banging her again next time I'm in Orlando.