....can i go again tonight without looking weird? i was there for about an hour alone last night but my allergies started to flare up to the point where i couldnt stand it anymore and left. I want to go back alone again tonight, but do you guys think its a good idea? or will i be socially de-proofed from sitting there alone last night? will i look desperate for being there 2 nights in a row?
went to a club alone last night and sat for a bit but had to leave...
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DonJoseCantosie
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Absolutely not! The only time it is weird if you think it is. Girls commend and admire a guy who is willing to go to the bar by himself. Some even say they couldn't do it, be too lonely. Social Proof is overrated in my opinion, you approaching hot girls by itself is social proof. Watch how many girls will be looking at you after they see you go up to a girl, even if she doesn't respond much...the other girls still subconsciously are attracted to guy who's that ballsy. Why? Because its a tough thing to do. Its very courageous and there's the risk of getting rejected, and the fact that they see your going for it even if you'll get rejected makes them curious.Febreze said:
While talking to girls, if they ask...who'd you come with? Tell them, "I decided to come by myself"
. You'll be surprised that most will be surprised and think highly of it. There maybe a couple of girls once in a blue moon who'll think thats awkward and weird that your solo, they insecure.Be the guy who can go to the bar by himself without relying on wingmen!
:rockon:
The Mad Ghost
Senior Don Juan
The title of this thread ( ...But had to leave) made me LOL.
People are too interested in their own lives to remember you from last night leaving a nightclub halfway through and being there on your own.
As DonJoseCantosie said it is only an issue if you think it is an issue. If it is weird for you in the slightest your subcommunication will give it off.
Think of it like this, during the course of a night out with friends you are not with your friends the entire night correct? There are times when you go to the toilet/bar by yourself. Have you ever walked into a place on your own to meet people or even hung at a bar on your own waiting for friends? No difference mate, the only difference is what you are thinking in your head.
There is not much difference between going out with friends and going out solo. Personally I prefer solo as it pushes you to open sets more .
Bottom line, who cares what people think. It's your life and your rules, at your funeral are people going to be talking about the time you went to a nighclub on your own or the time you had a foursome with 3 strippers?
As DonJoseCantosie said it is only an issue if you think it is an issue. If it is weird for you in the slightest your subcommunication will give it off.
Think of it like this, during the course of a night out with friends you are not with your friends the entire night correct? There are times when you go to the toilet/bar by yourself. Have you ever walked into a place on your own to meet people or even hung at a bar on your own waiting for friends? No difference mate, the only difference is what you are thinking in your head.
There is not much difference between going out with friends and going out solo. Personally I prefer solo as it pushes you to open sets more .
Bottom line, who cares what people think. It's your life and your rules, at your funeral are people going to be talking about the time you went to a nighclub on your own or the time you had a foursome with 3 strippers?
actionjaxson
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theres only one club in your city? i would go to a different one if i were you. but really it doesnt matter unless its a really small club and the type where everyone knows everyone.
You were already "socially de-proofed" by sitting there alone last time. Going alone to a bar or club is fine, so long as you aren't the creepy loner dude, which you probably were.Febreze said:
Be the fun guy who has come out alone because his friends were busy, not the guy who came out alone because he has no friends.
DonJoseCantosie
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^^^C'mon Captain, how was he the creeper loaner dude? Girls are 100 times more worried of what people think of them than one guy they don't know who hasn't even talked to them.
DonJoseCantosie said:
Probably better answers than mine. People aren't really going to be paying attention to you, they probably aren't at all. Just if you do go out alone, HAVE FUN, don't just sit around like a loner. People may not see you again or remember you another night, but on that particular night you'll be oozing girl repellent.
Websters dic
Don Juan
Do you not know ANYONE, to go to the club with? I personally would not go alone, it's just sad but that's just me. Maybe go to a bar, you can probably start conversations much easier that way.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
There's nothing sad about it. Maybe you're in the mood to go to a bar and your friends wanna go to a club. Maybe you're in the mood to go to a club, and your friends a bar.Websters dic said:
I work 5 days a week. I'm not gonna let someone else's likes and dislikes dictate how I party on my 2 weekend days, ya know? And as antisocial as my friends are, I end up having a better time alone than with them.
And I don't know about the original poster, but I enjoy dancing with women, thus going to clubs tends to result in more conversations than going to bars. But I do well in either setting.
DonJoseCantosie
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How is it Sad Webster?
Iceberg's post is spot on!
Iceberg's post is spot on!
Spot on Iceberg.
Going out by yourself is not sad. It is the complete opposite, staying in doing nothing to improve yourself is sad. Being restricted by what is the social 'norm' or caring what people think is sad.
There are times when your friends might not want to go out and you do. There are two options, go out anyway and have a great time or sit in and do nothing feeling sorry for yourself.
If you want to get good at this you are going to have to go out by yourself at times as consistently going out and practicing is the only way to improve.
Going out solo is a great way to push boundaries and go outside the comfort zone.
Going out by yourself is not sad. It is the complete opposite, staying in doing nothing to improve yourself is sad. Being restricted by what is the social 'norm' or caring what people think is sad.
There are times when your friends might not want to go out and you do. There are two options, go out anyway and have a great time or sit in and do nothing feeling sorry for yourself.
If you want to get good at this you are going to have to go out by yourself at times as consistently going out and practicing is the only way to improve.
Going out solo is a great way to push boundaries and go outside the comfort zone.