Well, this was probably my most awkward experience at the gym.

[Jhcl4000]

Promising title right? I'll tell you what feels bad, being awesome at talking to guys, then failing epically when trying to talk to a girl. One of my first cold approaches if you can call it that. This had to be almost as bad as the bus stop pickup topic, at least when it comes to awkward-ness. So I'm pumped in the gym, and "socially confident" (if I can say that) from talking smoothly with all the guys I know in there as well. Blonde girl, I'd say HB8, some may say lower, but for me she was an 8/10, is in the weight section. I'm just minding my own business and at some point she walks over to where I was doing an exercise (low seated rows if you must know) and starts doing some **** for lower back/abs where you bend forward and back up. Now, I have a plan in my head to open, then ask if she goes to school "around here" and go from there. I look at her when she's finished a set and say something like:

Me: That looks fun
Her: *takes out earphones and smiles* Yeah, I like it actually
Me: It make you dizzy? Feeling a little light-headed? (or something)
Her: Just a little bit

Now, I don't remember if I said anything else, but if I did, not much. It really seemed like she wanted me to succeed as well (something just made it seem like that, plus she walked over to use a piece of equipment that was right in front of me, when the same thing is also at another area of the weight room). Okay, awkward part. I fvcking blank, like, nothing, my brain is gone. The only thing in my head is, "WTF! Say something!" But nothing. I seriously couldn't say ANYTHING to keep it going. It was like I was brain-dead, and I LOOK TO MY LEFT AWAY FROM HER AND SAY NOTHING. Yep, you read it right, and by the time my thought process came back to me it was too late, or at least it seemed too late. I then do a set right there, when I finish she is still standing right in front of me, earphones not in (maybe she was still expecting me to say something, lol).

Okay, here it comes. You thought I couldn't be any fvcking dumber, I actually say... This is hard for me to even post... "Don't worry, I won't talk to you anymore, you can get back to working out," or something similar. After I said this I realized how insanely dumb it was, BECAUSE I WASN'T EVEN TALKING TO HER! Imagine going up to a person you don't know and just saying hi, walking away, then coming back five minutes later and saying, "I won't talk to you anymore, you can get back to whatever you were doing."

I couldn't help but laugh at how epic of a fail this was when it was over. Oh god... Feels bad....

 

[J. Darko]

Ouch...I feel ya. We all have these kind of painful moments. I hope you feel better now. Maybe you should try having an excuse ready to bail out, like ''well I got to get back to my work out, see ya!''. Good luck next time.

 

[Blaise]

lol it happens, i bet if you had inner game, you'd see she was just a woman and you could just talk to her like nothing. I can talk to my sister/friends for hours about anything, but for hbs, i freeze too. Just get over that mental obstacle, they are still human.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

And after that, here you are still alive, not a scratch on you.

 

[shaunuk]

And after that, here you are still alive, not a scratch on you.

this. . .

+1 rep

everyone's life is sure to be full of minor annoyances but few of real consequence. forget it man, it's all good.

 

[mrRuckus]

How does this failure even begin to approach epic status if absolutely nothing happened beyond a slight embarrassment?

 

[Waking Up]

I don't even understand how this is a failure. You essentially blew yourself out, she didn't even reject you.

Plus it's happened to me and others dozens of times. I'll be talking to a girl for a min or two, and then I'll be doing good and then I'll experience blankness and I'll get worried inside of experiencing awkward silence or something. This usually leads to me bailing by saying "See you later, gotta run."

 

[Tazman]

I only started becoming more successful at talking to women I didn't know if I actually had some kind of genuine curiosity (or atleast convinced myself of this). If you try to preplan these things you stand a chance at coming up blank, like in this case. Some people are good at it, I'm not one of those people so I had to be as genuine as possible to get through it.

Sometimes I'm still at a loss for words so I may ask some superficial question to avoid the silent pause. I only go for women that seem like they may have an interest in me so they sometimes pick up the slack in a waning conversation (which is a good IOI btw).

 

[I'm in the Mood]

You're making it hard for yourself if you think of it from the position of "planning your whole game." Sure you can have backup topics preplanned if you need them during a lull in the conversation, you can even think up some c&f lines or random things to tease her about if you can pull that off, but if you're playing natural game you have to realize that anything can happen and you're in it for the fun.

Was it her bending forward and back up that intimidated you?
Do you think her beauty stunned your game?

Whatever it was, this is like a perfectly typical example of "fear of rejection." This has happened to me many times before, and probably most of the members of this forum.

You know all those PUAs who are really good with women?

Well they had to go through the SAME thing as you are right now.

It's pretty much the process of taking baby steps. Look, if you approached a hot girl at the gym every time you went, eventually you'd get past that point of "not knowing what to say" because you'll no longer be paralyzed by anxious tension and it will be daily routine to you.

I am now going to hit you with the obvious.

You said "that looks fun," that was your opener. Not bad right? I mean, it wasn't anything miraculous, but it was very simple and got her attention. Simple, yet effective; a perfectly good opener.

Well if the exercise she was doing looked fun to you, why didn't you ask her to teach you how to do them??

This is like initiating an action date, instantly!
Here is your chance to be fun and flirt with her. You can make her your bodybuilding trainer, then fire her because her exercise didn't give you huge muscles...make stuff up and have fun with her. This is going beyond conversation, and once you get into some normal conversation, you can jump into this flirty stuff right away.

What you don't want to do is try to be cool or slick right away with her. And your thing about asking her if the exercise made her dizzy was you trying to be cool.

Why? Well you didn't know where you were going with it, which made it unoriginal.
Trust me, I've thought about this after unintentionally doing it many times.

Now this isn't a bad thing necessarily, people naturally do this to try to fit in by purposely trying to think interestingly to differentiate yourself, but it doesn't work all that well (as you now know) unless you can be original with it.

Look back on that line "feeling a little light-headed?" and write down 10 other things you could have said to her that would have started a conversation.
Open-ended questions tend to be more effective because they're thought provoking.

Once you do this, you will see how easily you could have continued the interaction.

And next time, you will know that it is possible to start a conversation with ANY girl at the gym. Plus, you're going to have 10 cool and original topics in your arsenal for that next time.

It's really easy once you learn to let go of your fears of social confrontation.

You can't expect her to do all the talking when you're the one who's approaching, so you've got a job to do!

 

[Furyguy]

Hahaha, not bad dude. What would you have said to her if she were a dude doing something that actually looked like a sick exercise you were genuinely curious about?

 

[CarlitosWay]

I would have joked around with her and said some **** like "Do you know any good exercises to blast the buns good?" "I heard chics dig guys with nice firm butts. Is that true?" lmao.....possibilities are endless especially in a gym. Plus you have to think most women probably feel not their best cause they're not all dolled up and if they train seriously get real sweaty.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Now that's a good story. Congrats on the experience.