weird situation

[PATRICKROY]

THIS IS A WEIRD SCENARIO

OK, THIS WILL SOUND STUPID, HOWEVER IT MAY HAPPEN TO ANY OF US. I HAVE NOTICED LATELY THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN "REGULAR" WITH THE #2 TOILET HABIT. SO I AM AT WORK AND PEOPLE START TO MAKE SOME WEIRD FACES AT ME. I GATHER FEEDBACK AND ITS BECAUSE THEY SAY I FART ALL THE TIME AND IT IT STINKS. WELL I HAVE NO IDEA I AM FARTING, ITS THE CONSTIPATION IN ME THAT HAS CAUSED GAS TO FORM IN MY STOMACH AND MY BODY IS ATTEMOTING TO GET RID OF IT.

HOW THE F^&%K DO YOU GET RID OF THIS PROBLEM - OR AM I HALLUCINATING?

THE OTHER THING IS THAT PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU LIKE YOUR A PIG!!

ALSO WHEN YOU SIT DOWN, ITS LIKE YOUR BODY IS PUSHING AIR THROUGH YOU BECAUSE IT WANTS TO GET RID OF IT, THUS WHEN SITTING YOU "SILENTLY" FART AND IT STINKS!!

PLEASE HELP THIS IS EMBARASSING AT WORK.

 

[Saine]

You might turn the cap off first, then stop farting as you do so.

 

[Reto]

A female body builder once told me that since weight lifters each so much protein, thier gas expendature goes up. To counter act this, eat a tablespoon of peanut butter. I've never tried it...

Might be worth a shot...

 

[Neo]

get rid of the caps, then i'll read your rant