Weird almost 4 some ( random story about lust)

[Pandora]

Warning this story is just a rant about my weird weekend it is a long post:

I have a friend I have known for almost 20 yrs. Been a great friend. Goofy white boy who always had women. He was a natural. We had so many adventures together and never had an issue. We would hook each other up with girls and we were each others wingman. For the last 5 yrs he has been dating a diagnosed borderline and things have gotten weird.

They have been involved in the swinger lifestyle but never told me. He actively denied it even though his gf once let it slip. This guy never lied to me before. The other night I ended up in the bed with his gf, her slutty friend and him. I wanted the slutty friend to follow me to the sofa because things were getting weird. I am so drunk and high at this point its ridiculous. Me and the friend end up heavy petting, kissing, she wanted me to choke her etc. I noticed my friend is trying to sleep with both girls so I moved over to his gf. She is not getting angry until he pushes me away from her. Next thing I know his gf is telling me to leave and he has his pants off.

His gf ( who has hit on me before and I had to put an end to it) told me I was defiling the sacredness of her bed. This was a girl who tried to seduce me when he was not around. It was embarrassing especially because earlier in the night she and the other girl where doing lesbian sex on the bed ( to my surprise). It hurt my feelings lol. Sacredness of her bed?? Huh?? It is humiliating to get kicked out of a 4 some. It was so bizarre. I slept on the sofa.

Backstory..I hooked ( almost sex) up with the slutty friend before. She is married and I feel ashamed. I am confused because they never told me they were having 3 somes. When I asked about it they would say that they can't stand her but I would always see him flirting with her. The gf would act like she did not see it.

Anyways I am ashamed of myself. My lust has taken me to dark places. I should not have tried to hook up with that married chick again. My buddy also has taken a dark turn. Its animalistic now. Its weird and not fun anymore. Its either they are fighting or trying to have a 3 some with chubby girls. Then lying about it.

Btw he came to the sofa and apologized. He said he was sorry he **** blocked me. I was not angry I was relieved on some level because that slutty friend was creeping me out ( during the action she was speaking another language and doing ritual shyt it seems). The whole thing was so low vibration and I felt nasty and guilty. My feelings were hurt because I was so confused as to what was going on.

Point is that I need to get my lust in check. Unchecked lust will lead you into weird low vibration activities with weird people. I am ashamed of myself for even messing with a married chick.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

For the last 5 yrs he has been dating a diagnosed borderline and things have gotten weird.

You nailed the crux of the issue and sounds like you've been along for the ride.

Anyways I am ashamed of myself.

She/they lead you down this path, then when you finally take the plunge, she shames you.

I am so drunk and high at this point its ridiculous

Although, your calibration could have been off here and signals were missed.


Either way, reading that story, from the outside looking in, I'd be glad to have been kicked out of that sh1t show that you got yourself into. You're right to say to yourself "what was I thinking?"

Don't be ashamed, be relieved. You are not like them. Screw these people (figuratively). If you can't help your buddy, and he can't help himself. Then probably wise to keep him at an arm's distance at this point.

 

[Dr.Suave]

So he c0ckblocked you so he could have both girls all for himself. After the damage was done, he "apologized". Yeah, I would lose that friendship.

 

[Pandora]

You nailed the crux of the issue and sounds like you've been along for the ride.

She/they lead you down this path, then when you finally take the plunge, she shames you.

Although, your calibration could have been off here and signals were missed.


Either way, reading that story, from the outside looking in, I'd be glad to have been kicked out of that sh1t show that you got yourself into. You're right to say to yourself "what was I thinking?"

Don't be ashamed, be relieved. You are not like them. Screw these people (figuratively). If you can't help your buddy, and he can't help himself. Then probably wise to keep him at an arm's distance at this point.

Yeh man thanks for the advice bro. They did lead me down the path. He even had his arms around us in the bed and kept saying " lets do a 4 some". It was weird having his arm around me so I had to be like " dude keep your hands on that side lol". The slutty friend laughed when I said that. I think he was using me in order to get the other girl warmed up.

He could not blatantly do foreplay with her because the gf still does not really enjoy him hitting on other girls. I think she just puts up with it. Her emotional outburst was probably projection that was really intended at her friend. It was so random that I had to ask " is she talking to me??". I can tell she does not like that her friend is participating with her man. I talked to her about it before and she gets agitated at the thought.

I am going to keep them at arms distance. You are right.

 

[Pandora]

So he c0ckblocked you so he could have both girls all for himself. After the damage was done, he "apologized". Yeah, I would lose that friendship.

Yeh man. Unbalanced lust will have you even hurting your long time friends. This is why lust is so dangerous. It is an all consuming fire. There is no end. Ive heard stories that Floyd Mayweather who could get any girl banged his best friends gf which led to the guys suicide.

You always want the next orgasm, and the next one, then you become an addict doing weird stuff.

Hey btw thanks for the advice. I was feeling kinda down. Yeh he did ****block me and I am reconsidering the friendship. Thing is that I have known dude since before we could legally drink basically.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Thing is that I have known dude since before we could legally drink basically.

I get that. But sometimes you outgrow your friends, sometimes they outgrow you, sometimes they become toxic or bad people.

You have to draw the line somewhere. C0ckblocking you and Humiliating you by kicking you out of a foursome seems like pretty good place to draw the line.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I’ve been peripherally involved in the lifestyle. Never participated with other males, but have certainly bulled - it’s been a long time. I decided to distance myself from it years ago.

My decision was based on my experience that most people involved in it are pretty severely f’d mentally. The drama is nonstop.

There’s a big difference between you and your girl meeting a hot single on vacation at the pool and ending up doing some nutty stuff, and pursuing it as a lifestyle.

Forgive yourself brother - we are all human and we make mistakes. It’s how we recover from them that makes us who we are.

 

[Pandora]

I’ve been peripherally involved in the lifestyle. Never participated with other males, but have certainly bulled - it’s been a long time. I decided to distance myself from it years ago.

My decision was based on my experience that most people involved in it are pretty severely f’d mentally. The drama is nonstop.

Yes exactly. Thanks for the advice. I agree that there is drama non stop. Atleast one of the partners are pretending to be okay with the swinger lifestyle. One is just doing it to patronize the other. This lifestyle is not the product of a healthy happy relationship.

 

[Ricky]

I’ve been peripherally involved in the lifestyle. Never participated with other males, but have certainly bulled - it’s been a long time. I decided to distance myself from it years ago.

My decision was based on my experience that most people involved in it are pretty severely f’d mentally. The drama is nonstop.

There’s a big difference between you and your girl meeting a hot single on vacation at the pool and ending up doing some nutty stuff, and pursuing it as a lifestyle.

Forgive yourself brother - we are all human and we make mistakes. It’s how we recover from them that makes us who we are.

I was a bull a few times too. It felt pretty powerful but i am not convinced it is healthy and it later caused me some issues down the road with my wife when i stupidly admitted i had done it before her.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Unless everyone is on exactly the same wavelength a four some can get really weird really quickly

It doesn't sound like anyone was particularly on the same wavelength in this situation

Plus a BF & GF having a 4 some with two strangers is pretty weird in my book full stop , the relationship is clearly flawed as a man and woman who have sexually bonded shouldn't REALLY be interested in having someone else within it let alone 2 other people

I know people do have weird kinks and fetishes but this is just too far for me , you have to maintain some level of purity within yourself

I had my first foursome in 2021 and it was an unexpected and cool experience

But we were too single guys and they were two single girls so it was fair game for everyone , there was no jealously or ownership issues

We just took turns on the girls and they liked it

 

[Dr.Suave]

I was a bull a few times too. It felt pretty powerful but i am not convinced it is healthy and it later caused me some issues down the road with my wife when i stupidly admitted i had done it before her.

So she cared about your past. Ah but if you care at all about anything involving a girl´s past you will be attacked by White Knights, Social Justice Warriors, Feminazis, etc.

They will call you insecure or some variant of that. They will try to convince you there´s something wrong with you and that you shouldnt care about a girl´s past.

 

[Pandora]

Unless everyone is on exactly the same wavelength a four some can get really weird really quickly

It doesn't sound like anyone was particularly on the same wavelength in this situation

Plus a BF & GF having a 4 some with two strangers is pretty weird in my book full stop , the relationship is clearly flawed as a man and woman who have sexually bonded shouldn't REALLY be interested in having someone else within it let alone 2 other people

I know people do have weird kinks and fetishes but this is just too far for me , you have to maintain some level of purity within yourself

I had my first foursome in 2021 and it was an unexpected and cool experience

But we were too single guys and they were two single girls so it was fair game for everyone , there was no jealously or ownership issues

We just took turns on the girls and they liked it

Yes exactly. Facts

 

[Foe]

It hurt my feelings lol. Sacredness of her bed?? Huh?? It is humiliating to get kicked out of a 4 some. It was so bizarre. I slept on the sofa.

Bro as someone who dated a BPD for three years the first thing you have to realise is they absolutely do not follow the rules. Her saying that means absolutely nothing and I dont find it surprising at all she is hot and cold. Its there special power, they have no identity to lean on so they flip flop all over the place.

Take it with a grain of salt and dont think twice about it. It means absolutely nothing to her I promise you.

 

[Pandora]

Bro as someone who dated a BPD for three years the first thing you have to realise is they absolutely do not follow the rules. Her saying that means absolutely nothing and I dont find it surprising at all she is hot and cold. Its there special power, they have no identity to lean on so they flip flop all over the place.

Take it with a grain of salt and dont think twice about it. It means absolutely nothing to her I promise you.

Very interesting. Thanks bro

 

[Pandora]

Bro as someone who dated a BPD for three years the first thing you have to realise is they absolutely do not follow the rules. Her saying that means absolutely nothing and I dont find it surprising at all she is hot and cold. Its there special power, they have no identity to lean on so they flip flop all over the place.

Take it with a grain of salt and dont think twice about it. It means absolutely nothing to her I promise you.

This is the approach I am starting to take with even " normal" females. Most of what they can not be taken too personally. They are different people from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. This is esp true for BPDs. Part of my healing is to try to not look at is as disrespectful. I should understand that I am dealing with an emotionally immature creature. Its tough though because as men we are used to holding each other accountable for our words.