We want eachother but she has a bf & baby, confused

[inscape]

I'm just soo pissed off and sad, don't know what to do. We've known eachother for a couple of years. She had an ******* bf and had a baby with him, he cheated on her twice while she was preganant etc. A few months ago she finally left him to be with me, we were together for 2 weeks and she broke up with me and went back to him. Then a month went by and he was staling her and **** so she broke up with him and we go back together. We were together for a few weeks and I began to doubt if I wanted to be with her since she had a baby and that's a big responsibility (i'm 19, she's 20) and a friend of mine that I always wanted to be with apparently felt safe to flirt with me because I had a gf. I felt bad that I had feelings for another girl, so for those reasons I broke up with her.

We've been apart for a few months, we work with eachother 3 days a week. She tells me all the crap her bf does, the fights they get in, him accusing her of being in my truck when she never has been, me in her bed, etc etc. I told her countless times she needs to lose that ******* and she says she knows but she doesn't want some other girl watching her son or something like that. I then tried to become distant from her, then I tried just being nice to her, and none of it is working. I was a bit of an ******* to her at work today, not mean, but I told her to shut up and kinda felt bad for that. Then we flirted again, it's just a big mess.

I realized I've never actually gotten over her because I've always wanted her back. Yes, I know this sounds lame. What do I do? Try to be with her? Tell her we will never be together, or just not give her any attention?

 

[squirrels]

End this. Please. How many times does she have to ditch you and run back to the @$$hole before you get the idea? Stop punishing yourself. There are better people in whom to invest your time and affection...you're worth more than that. Stop degrading yourself over some p00n.

 

[Skel]

fo real.

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

Your post should be on

http://www.mymiserablelife.com/archive/20s.shtml



Heh j/k, compared to them, your life is a bed of roses.

Cheer up & get rid of the source of suffering.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dude, you're 18 years old with your entire life ahead of you and you are wasting your time with a woman that already has a child and a boyfriend???!!! What the fvck is your problem???!! Is there not ANY other women in the world for you???!!

Keep up with your current mindset and people will start telling you that it sucks to be you! Get out, live a little, experience life and new people!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by inscape
A few months ago she finally left him to be with me, we were together for 2 weeks and she broke up with me and went back to him. Then a month went by and he was staling her and **** so she broke up with him and we go back together.

I realized I've never actually gotten over her because I've always wanted her back. Yes, I know this sounds lame. What do I do? Try to be with her?

Behold, the dog returns to his vomit!!!

She is using you and you are only her temporary safehaven from her drama at home and nothing more!!

Flee!!!

 

[NRM]

Don't you get what's going on?

She's using her as the innocent poolboy who she goes to when she's feeling down. YOU ARE NOTHING TO HER. SHE WOULD NEVER MARRY YOU.

Look at it this way. You have a girlfriend, she treats you badly, you meet this wonderful woman who loves you and treats you the bestest you've ever been treated. You cheat on the mean girlfriend who treats you badly and leave her for the nice wonderful woman.

THEN TWO WEEKS LATER, YOU BREAK IT OFF WITH THE WONDERFUL WOMAN AND GO BACK TO THE MEAN BITCH THAT TREATS YOU BADLY?

Fuck no.

I don't see how you don't get it. She is attracted to this jerk. No matter how much of a jerk he is. He's a man in her eyes. He probably doesn't sit around and listens to her problems like a nice FRIEND like you would. He probably gets up and leaves if she brings up other guys and her problems with them. Her boyfriend probably has better things to do.

It isn't like he totally ditched her yet either.

Look at this. Almost EVERY girlfriend complains about her boyfriend/husband/whatever after the honeymoon stage. Why is it that those women do not break up with those men and go find someone who suits their needs and follows their description?

THOSE OTHER MEN ARE BORING.

Girls are liars. They lie to men, they lie to themselves. It isn't their fault, it's not in bad nature, but if you follow the guidelines set out there to get women by women, you will be crushed when you realized that it isn't what they want afterall.

Here, I'm going to tell you the truth. She still loves the jerk who cheated on her. She loved enough to have his kid. She loves him enough to come back to him when she's bored of using you to teach him a lesson and he doesn't care. Put yourself on a scale for a second. If you were her, you'd choose you right? Obvious choice.

But which one does she choose...?

Not you.

As said, you're 18. You shouldn't deal with this shit. Move on. It's tough, but you'll see there is a way bigger world out there. If she loved you, she'd be with you. If you were the better choice, she'd make no other. If you were the one, everyone else wouldn't be.

If you want a final stab at it. Go to her. Tell her that you aren't going to put up with it. She can't have both of you and come to you when she needs a shoulder to lean on and expect you to take that shoulder to lean on as a commitment. If she wants to be with you, she has to leave him. If she loves you that much, nothing else would matter to her. If she doesn't leave him, you'll see who she loves more.

It's not a matter of mind control or forcing a person to choose, it's natural instinct. Can't have what you want? Move on. There are billions out there.

Good luck.

 

[NewMan]

Are you sh#ting me?

This b#tch get's pregenant - has her kid with an A##hole - then runs to you. And you take the Ho in.

Do you have little or no self esteem?

It seems like you are running to the first Ho that opens her legs for you.

Can't you get a eoman of your own.

This is madness.

Dump that B#tch.

Move the fvck on.

You don't want to responsibility of a kid at your age.

There is far to much life out there.

Read the Bible and get a clue.

 

[jakeyboy]

hell this sure is a bad case of em oneitis.

don't be a fool.. she's gonna think you're worthless, because everytime she comes running over crying buckets about that b**tard, you take her back. have some backbone dude. the fact is this lady will tend to have a very strong emotional bond to the father of her child, even if he doesn't feel the same, she'd still be attached to him well, simply because he was the father of her first child, holds some special meaning or some sh*t... heard this from a friend of mine... well, she's a single mother, but she still can't forget the guy she had the tyke with.. even though its been how many? 2 1/2 years already! and he was a complete dipsh*t.

forget about her. she's really not worth it. she's just using you as a rebound, to boost that little twisted bit of self esteem she has left in herself.

sit down, read the stuff in the bible, go out there and mack. don't hang on to this mrs mommy. everytime you want to take her in again... just think of all the trouble it take to look after her little tyke and how that's gonna be an issue later on in the relationship.

all the best with the situation.

 

[inscape]

Thanks guys, I had to work with her for a couple of hours today. She kept tocuhing me or grabbing me and I just pulled away and didn't talk to her. Yes I realize how male it looks, but I use to talk to my friends I worked with about her because they's ask what's going on and what they told me was the opposite of what I hear on this site. It was what I wanted to hear and not the truth so I listened.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You are naive and a fool (I mean that in the real sense) - you are obviously young and lonely and are unsure of your future prospects - but whatever you do, do not consider her as a mate - unless you are suicidal!!!!

Take my prior advice, do NOT become emotionally attached!!!!

Flee!!!

 

[Dukester]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Dude, you're 18 years old with your entire life ahead of you and you are wasting your time with a woman that already has a child and a boyfriend???!!! What the fvck is your problem???!!

i dated a 20 yr old girl that had a baby. it ended, b/c i didnt want to deal w/ the upkeep of her, and her kid. although we still talk all the time, and the kid still calls me daddy.

we are just really good friends, but i dont think we'll ever be more than that.

lesson learned...

 

[WestCoaster]

Earth to inscape ...

... You're f--king 18 years old! My God, you should be dating many, many different women -- WITHOUT KIDS -- and going to college and working on your future.

What are you doing with this ho-bag?

What's with the oneitis? Haven't you read the DJ Bible?

Good grief, get a freaking grip. Why do you want to be 40 when you're 18?

I don't get the mind-set, when I was 18 I had no wish to even be near rug rats and ho's who had them.

You're working on being a low life. Go to college or get some kind of training and don't worry about women. They'll always be there ... and so will CEOs and managers, whom you'll be working for the rest of your life if you don't start thinking about your CAREER instead of cheap ho's.

 

[comic_relief]

We have an emotional tampon here

We've been apart for a few months, we work with eachother 3 days a week. She tells me all the crap her bf does, the fights they get in, him accusing her of being in my truck when she never has been, me in her bed, etc etc.

I see a couple problems with this relationship.
1.) she broke up previously with you
2.) She has a kid
3.) She likes being treated like an idiot
4.) You are nothing but a sick little game (I had a variation of this played on me too a long long time ago)
5.) You have oneitis and should move on with your life

I agree with WC on this, you should most deffinately be worried about your future because lets look at two very different hypothetical situations.
1.) you want her very badly. You get her to cry on your shoulder but she goes back to her boyfriend. Somehow you pull off getting this girl. She drags you down and doesn't let you go to college and/or get a good job. You grow to resent her and in the end you resent her and the kid
2.) You forget about her and move on with your life. Date alot of women and work on college and a future. You get a good job, good house, and the whole thing. Women only last for awhile but a job will last for a long time.

Just my 2 cents