We are going out to X tonight, no boys!

[DragonBlood]

OK I cant figure this out on my own and have to get it out of my head. I need some advice.


After the game on Friday I was making my way home and some of the girls I am friendly with and were on my team congregated around the vending machines. I went over to see what they were talking about, they were talking about some location I wasnt familiar with so I asked "Where are you talking about?". At first there was a brief no response and one of the girls jumped in and said "We are going out to X tonight, no boys!".

I was obviously stunned by this hostile response. The other two girls said nothing and I felt ignored and unwelcomed by the group. The funny thing is I never asked to go in the first place? It would have been inconvenient for me as I live in another town. We were all heading in the same direction home but at this point I decided to walk home by myself. This is coming up a week ago with another game this Friday and I have not seen or spoken to these girls since then. These are people I see on a regular basis so its impractical just go 'NC'. As well important to say this girl has never shown me hostility in the past and nothing sticks out in my mind that I did recently to provoke this. The beta in me would have texted them later to apologise for upsetting them somehow, but those days are long past lol. I also doubt any of the beta guys would have gotten this response if they asked the same question.


My two options:

1. Approach the girl in question and say "You had no right to shame me after last weeks game just for being a man. How do you plan to make it up to me?" Well something along these lines, maybe less aggressive somehow.

2. Act aloof / like it never happened.



Im trying to think how would I handle this if it were a group of male friends. Am I over thinking this or should I say something about it. I was basically told to **** off because Im a guy or that the opportunity was used to try one up me. Acting butthurt is obviously bad but letting the disrespect slide? Im not sure.

What would you do?

 

[zinc4]

OK I cant figure this out on my own and have to get it out of my head. I need some advice.


After the game on Friday I was making my way home and some of the girls I am friendly with and were on my team congregated around the vending machines. I went over to see what they were talking about, they were talking about some location I wasnt familiar with so I asked "Where are you talking about?". At first there was a brief no response and one of the girls jumped in and said "We are going out to X tonight, no boys!".

I was obviously stunned by this hostile response. The other two girls said nothing and I felt ignored and unwelcomed by the group. The funny thing is I never asked to go in the first place? It would have been inconvenient for me as I live in another town. We were all heading in the same direction home but at this point I decided to walk home by myself. This is coming up a week ago with another game this Friday and I have not seen or spoken to these girls since then. These are people I see on a regular basis so its impractical just go 'NC'. As well important to say this girl has never shown me hostility in the past and nothing sticks out in my mind that I did recently to provoke this. The beta in me would have texted them later to apologise for upsetting them somehow, but those days are long past lol. I also doubt any of the beta guys would have gotten this response if they asked the same question.


My two options:

1. Approach the girl in question and say "You had no right to shame me after last weeks game just for being a man. How do you plan to make it up to me?"

2. Act aloof / like it never happened.



Im trying to think how would I handle this if it were a group of male friends. Am I over thinking this or should I say something about it. I was basically told to **** off because Im a guy or that the opportunity was used to try one up me. Acting butthurt is obviously bad but letting the disrespect slide? Im not sure.

What would you do?

I would have just shrugged and said sounds boring and walked away.

 

[DragonBlood]

Thanks Zinc good advice however this is in the past. I said nothing at the time and walked away shortly after which is a close second.

Im really looking for what to do moving forward.

Im thinking of telling the girl that she pissed me off and ask why she was hostile to me after the game?

 

[Slickster]

So you didn't get invited to the girl party.

The one where they do each others hair and talk about horses.

The insignificance of this event rivals your most recent fart.

You should analyze why something so stupid even registers on your radar.

My response to this - "Hey, I was just making conversation. Have fun girls"

Walk away.

Don't ever bring it up again. Confronting her about it puts you on whiny b!tch level and only shows you are hurt about not being accepted as a fellow girl.

 

[zinc4]

Thanks Zinc good advice however this is in the past. I said nothing at the time and walked away shortly after which is a close second.

Im really looking for what to do moving forward.

Im thinking of telling the girl that she pissed me off and ask why she was hostile to me after the game?

Why would you tell her it pissed you off??? It's no big deal...let them have their girl's night out....who cares...my cousin gets upset acting over this type stuff and everyone thinks he is an insecure physcho...

I can see your reasoning for being upset because you feel like they essentially ignored you, but there is no point in voicing it.....just don't associate except for on a very light common courtesy type level with them if you don't like them....

 

[Atom Smasher]

Being ignored or spoken rudely to is a part of life and each incident doesn't warrant a response or retaliation. You need to choose your battles and this one does seem kind of trivial. I would let this one go. If she continues to be rude, that's another story.

 

[DragonBlood]

yeah your right guys I wasnt thinking objectively.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

1. Approach the girl in question and say "You had no right to shame me after last weeks game just for being a man. How do you plan to make it up to me?" Well something along these lines, maybe less aggressive somehow.

Ahhh, I see a newbie has been reading too many PUA articles on the net lately.

Whatever you do (and you shouldn't do anything btw) DON'T do what you suggested above.

You will be the brunt of their jokes from there on out and look ridiculous.

Everyone else has already said it, but your making a big deal out of nothing.

It would have been best to have some sort of sarcastic "I don't give a fuvk" reaction right on the spot.

But now..... its far past gone, just carry on like it didn't happen.








PIMP

 

[VladPatton]

LOL you should expect treatment like this from a group of girls, especially when you just jumped in their convo like that. Should of looked em straight in the eyes and said "cool, have fun", and walked away.

Waaaaaay too much sensitivity and over thinking, man.

 

[Brosy]

How come I keep reading about disrespect like this? What are you guys doing wrong? Or is this how American girls act? (Sorry don't know where you're from).

I've never, nor seen anyone else dissed like this! Stock reply would be a patronising "nah you're alright, I prefer hanging out with pretty girls anyway, see you later lads!".

F!*k indifference and being cool here, put them in their place.

Addition: pat one of them on the head as you depart for added lols

 

[plate's_empty]

Okay. So the posters are giving the OP everything he deserves here.

Brosy, I see where you're going with this, but a response like that shows that the girl's comment upset him. This isn't elementary school, and OP is on some team with these girls. Don't think he wants to get kicked off.

But, I agree with a quick witted remark. Something simple with a touch of sarcasm or smartassery.

"whoah! relax" while taking a step back with hands in the air for emphasis. Then proceed to give girl pat on the back before walking away.

or

after a brief pause "have fun!" with an over exaggerated thumb in the air.

Either way, YOU CAN'T let something like that bother you. Or at least show that it bothers you. If you're able to, turning it around on her, or owning her back (without going to far) works wonders. Instead of making fun of you they'll be making fun of her for making their group look stupid.

Even a small laugh, or showing that you're amused with a "that's cute" without waiting for a response, could work here. Whatever.

 

[BigSmooth]

"Heh thanks for the invite girls but I'm busy tonight. Have fun."


All you need to say.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

F!*k indifference and being cool here, put them in their place.

Your missing the bigger picture.

These women don't respect the OP, which is why their reaction was so hostile in the first place.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen a girl act like two completely different people depending on the guy they are interacting with....

Work on developing your inner game, your appearance and earning respect.

Women don't treat guys like shiat when they look at him as a man.







PIMP

 

[Zarky]

I think you're all assuming that the girl's response was indeed "hostile" like the OP said. I've been told this ("girls night out, girls only") a million times by women I've known and women I've dated. It's never "hostile" in a way that could generate an emotional response from me. It's more of a teasing or matter-of-fact thing. I usually respond with a "ooohh, sounds serious" or "hmm a little girl on girl action tonight eh? Can I watch?" or "I'll wear my pink tutu if you let me come" or something equally nonserious.

The OP clearly has some psychological issues which should be addressed. I think he's rebounding from his extreme AFCdom and will take awhile to understand what normal social interactions are like. I don't mean to diss anyone but I would seriously consider professional therapy because there are clearly problems in the OP's past.

"You had no right to shame me after last weeks game just for being a man."

Please, lay off the manosphere stuff. People will think you're insane.

 

[JoeMarron]

You're gonna have a hard life ahead of you if you're offended over silly stuff like this.

 

[TheWolfMan]

I'm confused is OP trying to game the girls? They said they're having a girls' night, so who gives a f@ck. I'm just trying to understand why OP is feeling so butthurt about their reaction. Dude I was you I would have just said okay just trying to see what y'all were up to, talk to ya later. Never mention it again.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Or better yet "Okay fine, well if any of you are interested in hanging out with a MAN then you can hit me up". Emphasize "man" cause the one girl said "no boys".

 

[plate's_empty]

Women don't treat guys like shiat when they look at him as a man.

^^^^Serious.

Here we go OP, time to man up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nqcgUDoV_M