Wcun self-improvement blog

[wcun]

I’m going to start this blog as I feel I need some sort push to get me going again and become what I want to be!

I want to set myself tasks to follow so I can keep on track with everything.

If anybody is going to read this, and want to put his foot into me for my written English, it is not my first language, although it should be much better by know. I hate writing and I’m as bad in my native language. Maybe I have dyslexia or whatever. So for me all this writing is absolute nightmare, but it must be done.

I’m soon to be 29 years old. I have lived abroad and been completely independent since I was 20 years old. I was playing ice hockey until I was about 22, so always had many friends, and wide social circle without putting too much effort in. At the moment I live in the UK where I study (I know, its lame at my age). I have finished BSc in Construction Management and currently finishing my MSC in Construction Project Management (part time). In January I’m starting another MSC in Oil and Gas Management (full time) so from January I’m going to have 2 courses running for one semester. On the top of that I work, one or two jobs, depending on how much money I need. So from January it should be lots of “fun”. Currently I’m living with my mate from the Uni, who I guess is going to leave soon as he might be getting job.

My social circle is pretty small, I hang out with same people pretty much all the time and the only think we do is to get drunk, go casino, sometimes bar and then wasted home. Guys that I hang out with are not very much into chasing women and when I told them to go out to try to get some ***** (day game) they just laugh at me that I’m crazy and that I’m going to get done for sexual harassment. Another mate is into that PUA staff, but he is too scared to approach and other one that would be up for it lives about 100 miles away and is in LTR.

I got no female friends to even hang out with what so ever after about 8-9 years here, although I was in relationship for about 6 -7 years with two different women during this time. Few months back I split up with my GF and its time to get back on the horse. During that time with her I lost my pride, dignity, form, motivation and pretty much everything you can lose. I turned into complete AFC and just couldn’t take it anymore.
I’m not very good with women, all of my relationship or one night stands only happened when I was drinking bar one or two. I didn’t sleep with many women only around 20.


TASKS:
Stop Smoking
Cut down on drinking
Get up at 6 am every morning, bar weekend
Hit gym 3-4 a week
Running or swimming 3 times a week
Study 6 hours a day from Monday- Friday
Join MMA
Day game – at least one cold approach per day with asking for no
Talk to at least one stranger per a day
Start networking for work
Working
Go to bar once a week on my own
Meditation once a day
Eating healthy
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[mrRuckus]

good luck

 

[wcun]

Thanks mrRuckus

So I’m going to update what happened from Friday pretty much.

Friday

To be honest, there is not too much to brag about. Friday I had a group meeting from the Uni, where we are working on project together and I haven’t slept for over 30 hours as I was working night before, and when I came home, I decided to study instead of to go to bed. Done few hours of studying and hit gym and then studying again.

Got one girl in the group, which I’m picking up on the way to uni, as she lives about 2 minutes from my place. She is about HB 4-5, 25 years old, she is from Africa and I don’t really fancy these girls or find them attractive. I picked her up and we are driving to Uni. I’m completely fine sitting in the car and not to talk to each other, but I need to work on my communication skills, so I tried to keep the conversation going by asking about her and reacting on what is she saying as is in the DJ Bible.

Got to the Uni, I went to get some coffee and do a little circle around if I can find some HB to talk to.
Did not have any luck, as all the girls I wanted to approach were in small groups and it terrifies me to approach the group.

Went outside to have a cigarette and seen girl standing there smoking on her own. So went to approach, I asked her for a lighter and wanted to follow up on that but as she turned when I approached her, her face was like half burned so I just said thanks and smoked my cigarette.

After the meeting I wanted to go home as I haven’t slept for over 36 hours and I was really tired. Went to pay for the ticket as I turned around HB7 approached me.

HB7: Excuse me, you have a leaf on your head, I don’t want you to get embarrassed and she smiled at me.
Me: oh really? Thanks and I walked off like an idiot.

I got completely caught off guard and I couldn’t come up with what to say. I was really pissed of myself.

Got home, had some dinner, few beers with my flat mate and gone to bed.

Saturday

Got up around 10 am, and hit the gym. From the gym, straight to the library to study. It is very good place to meet HBs as it is a campus where nurses are studying. I came in, done the circle around but it was pretty much empty except another 3 guys studying in there, as it was Saturday morning. Went to get some coffee and stopped to talk to security guy for about 5 minutes. Was asking him about his work mainly and talking about problems with the parking on campus and around.

Latter on HB 6 came with her friend HB4 and sat behind me. I was doing my studying and thinking how to approach them. Made an eye contact with HB6 on few occasions a got a smile from her. I wanted to go to talk to them before I leave, but as I was leaving she wasn’t at her table and I did not really wanted to talk to HB4. As I was leaving, we bumped into each other as I was cutting the corner, we both said sorry and smiled at each other while keeping the eye contact for a second or 2.

I had a great opportunity to say something there but I did chicken out again. Really upset with myself as I was leaving the library there was another girl walking behind me, leaving as well. She was HB5 but as I was pissed off with myself and said fuk it, I have to at least talk to her. I turned around waited a second so she catches up with me.

Me: hey how you doing?
HB5: I’m ok, how are you?
Me: Not too bad. (Wanted to continue with a question, when she interrupted)
HB5: It’s pretty quite her today.
Me: I know, its usually pretty busy her but its Saturday, I guess most of the people are hangover.
HB5: Ha ha

I wanted to continue talking but there was a toilet on a way as we were walking and she just went see ya.
Me: see ya

Not too much success or progress but at least I have made one attempt. Went home, cooked myself a meal and went to visit friend of mine who lives about hour and a half from me. Haven’t seen him for a few months. Ended up drinking bottle of whisky and smoking Cuban cigars, getting pretty drunk but not as much as usual.

Sunday:

Came home at about 2 pm and went swimming, sauna and hot tub to get rid of hang over, spent there about 2 hours. There was a pretty swim guard by the pool HB7. Again was thinking how to approach her but end up postponing it until she left and she was replaced by some dude. What I noticed was every single guy who walked in there was checking her out, but not one of them would approach. Now Im talking about 10-20 guys.

At least I made an effort to talk to 3 strangers in sauna and hot tub just to work on my communication skills, so time not completely wasted. (Talked to each guy between 5-10 minutes).But no HB approached so far, as I don’t count one on Saturday. Done some shopping and end up smoking green with my flat mate in the evening.

Monday:

Overslept in the morning but went to the library to study to prepare for the presentation which is on Thursday and I’m not 100% prepared yet. Spent few hours studying and then looking for some HBs to approach. I passed out on some opportunities again and was getting more and more pissed off with myself.

Went to cafeteria, got myself a coffee and was reading through my papers. Few minutes later HB7 came and sat down at the table in front of me having lunch and playing with her phone. She was really cute, short, fit, oriental looking. I really wanted to approach her but was coming up with all sorts of excuses of not doing it. As I was leaving, I just said fuk it, I’m going in.

Me: (walked up to the table) Hi, I noticed you from over there and you look kind of cute so I want to talk to you.
HB7: Ohhh hi, ok (looked rather shocked)
Me: I’m Martin, what’s your name? Extended my hand for a hand shake and keeping the eye contact
HB7: Hi my name is....... (I can’t remember)
Me: So what is your major?
HB7: I’m doing public relations.
Me: ok sounds interesting, what year are you at?
HB7: my finale year
Me: Ok, so you must be really busy with the studies than.
HB7: yeah I got dissertation to do. What do you study?
Me: I’m doing my MSc in construction
HB7: you do what?
Me: construction as building works, project management ( I really need to speak up, I was a bit too quiet).
HB7: ok thats pretty cool, do you study at this campus?
Me: No, im at different one, have you been there?
Hb7: no I haven’t, but I heard of it.
Me: So where are you from? Are you from this city?
HB7: no, not really Im from Hon Kong, but I have been living here for last 5 years.
Me: really? That’s sound cool, so how is Hong Kong?
HB7: Its pretty good, a bit different.
( I was very nervous and uncomfortable haha)
Me: What do you mean?
HB7: Culture is different
Me: I know, i was pretty shocked when I moved here as well with lot of diversity in here.
HB7: I know, it took me a while to get used to it. So where are you from?
Me: I’m from.......
HB7: where is that?
Me: It’s ......blalala
HB7: Ahh ok, I know is it by......mentioned another country
Me: yes just right next to it, Have you been in the country (that she said)
HB7: No I haven’t, have you been there?
Me: yes, you should check it out, its pretty cool there, if you ever go, goes to this city
HB7: ok cool
Me: Have you been in states? You got bit of an American accent
HB7: no I haven’t, but would like to go at some point. Many people say about my accent
Me: So you haven’t been USA, how come you sound American?
HB7: i guess its the sitcoms i watch, i pick it up from there haha
Me: ok what do you watch than?
HB7: i watch ......(some vampire ****) , anything but British sitcoms haha
Me: what is about? Any good?
HB7: it’s about this and that, it’s like twightlite saga ( or whatever) you should check it out
Me: ok blala
Little bit more of little chit chat after that.
Me: Ok I got to go now, because I got the meeting in a bit, but u seems kind of cool so give me your number so we can hang out sometime.
HB7: hmm ok sure (looked rather surprised)
Me: so what is your number?
HB7: (was taking her phone out) oh hi don’t know my number
Me: that’s ok, I will give you mine and just ring me straight back.
HB7: ok cool
Me : Gave her number
HB7: **** I got no credit and signal here (signal is **** there that’s true.) But I will send you a text when I get some credit.
Me: (I know it is just a blow off but i don’t care) ok cool, nice to meet you, gave her my hand and left.

So that’s pretty much it. Not a great going as i really doubt she will text me but at least I have done it again, as it is about 3 years since I have done cold approach. I felt so good for doing it. Rejection is really better than regret. Can’t wait for tomorrow, as I’m going to hit the gym at 6;30 in the morning and then library to do some more.