Was this a test, or should I move on?

evoke

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Right, I ask too many questions.

So last night I was kinda bored. Was supposed to hit a party, but I fell asleep and my friends took off without me (as it turns out, I wasn't allowed there anyway, haha!). I get up around 10, call a few people, nothing else going on. Then I get a text message from this girl who I've been having this, shall I say, wierd relationship with lately (we messed around, never did the in out, said she wanted to be friends, but still flirts with me and goes out whenever I ask her, blah blah, I sound like a broken record now), asking what I was doing. I watch an episode of Family Guy, then call her back. She says she's bored, sitting around with nothing to do. I tell her I'm going to the pub. She meets me there.

We just talked for a bit, mostly about my cheating roommate. She tells me that she used to cheat on her ex's, but didn't with her last one because she realized that she wouldn't want to be cheated on. Whatever. I don't know why she told me this.

After observing her flirt with a few guys (and she always comes back to me, staring, turned around to me, legs open), she tells me she's depressed. I ask why.

Now here is the potential test, or just her pissing me off.

She told me that she was stood up that night. Some metro douchebag, complete with pink shirts and man-purse, called her up earlier asking her out to a party, but never called her back, or answered the phone. She described him as just a friend...

I played along, pretending to be sympathetic. Then she wants to go back to my place.

By the time we get there, she's trashed. Not good trashed mind you, but sitting on the floor, with the hiccups, telling me she can't finish her beer or she'll fall asleep. It seems that she always drinks like a maniac when she's around me, like she's scared to death of me and needs to loosen up, but goes to far, every FVCKING time!

Then she left, after a bit of her not being able to keep her hands off me. Asked me to walk her out to her car, gave me a hug (I haven't been comfortable kissing her since the "I don't wanna ruin our friendship" talk a month ago.

I really didn't care much then, as there were so many people back at my house to amuse me, but looking back, all I can say is WFT?

Is she being REALLY cautious, sizing me up because she thinks I'd be good for a long term, and she's afraid of getting hurt by some insecure bastard, or is she just having fun being a c0ck-tease?
 

Mikers

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At first it looks like she may be using you until someone better comes along.. but then how you describe how open she is to you she may still have a high IL... You know what she's like though, only you can really answer this question.
 

arutha

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You let her go and drive when she was that drunk?!? :crackup:
 

Kaine

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You let her go when she insists on going over to your house, hits on you while she is there and you ask is she a **** tease? :crackup:

What? Do you need a formal invitation or a letter from her mom?


Kaine
 

evoke

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You must have missed the part where I said we have a weird relationship.

I tried being direct with her before, and it always ended in disaster. It's better that I let her do most of the work for now. I'll have to move with ninja like precision to make this work, but that's ok. I like a challenge.

Anyway had I struck shortly after she broke up with her last serious BF, it would have been much easier, but for whatever reason I wasn't interested in her at the time. It's like we're really not each others "types" at all, but we've known each other for so long and have this like energy between us. Everyone assumes we're together already. Even when she's trying to hook up with someone else, she spends all of her efforts on me, then dumps them right away, saying it was because of me. We just can't seem to get around to the fun bit.

Oh well, it's not like she's going anywhere. She's already making plans with me well into November, so I have plenty of time, and I'm diligent. I'll just have to continue meaninglessly banging away with other girls until things fall into place.

As for "letting" her drive drunk, I actually did hold on to her, telling her not to go, but it couldn't be helped. At the very least she let me know she was safe at home.
 

aftershock

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You're the Insurance guy. That is not a good place to be.

Originally posted by evoke
Oh well, it's not like she's going anywhere. She's already making plans with me well into November, so I have plenty of time, and I'm diligent. I'll just have to continue meaninglessly banging away with other girls until things fall into place.
This is the perfect attitude.
 

evoke

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It's not like I go out of my way to see her or anything either, but she'll always come out when I call.

For example, last saturday I got a bit bored, as everyone I know went to the shore (I hate the ocean), so I gave her a call when I went out to a bar.

evoke: Hey (her name here). What are you doing tonight?
her: Oh, I'm just hanging out with my friend (some dude), and his brother (some other guy). I'm friends with him too.
evoke: Alright. I'll talk to you later.
her: WAIT! What are you doing?
blah blah blah

20 minutes later and she was out with me. I just never get to take things past making out with her and some nudity. Mmmm.... such gigantic titties...

*sigh*
 

aftershock

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I'd seriously recommend not seeing her again, for a long time. She's developing into a oneitis. I know the signs and they are here. The fact that you can't shut up about her is testament to that fact.

Read and apply the post on Ganji games - it might be in the Bible actually.
 

evoke

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I already did the Ganji thing, and two weeks later she hunted me down, then wanted to hang out with me the next day, and following weekend.

I'll lay low a little bit (she expects me to be out tomorrow night, but I feel like going somewhere else, no doubt she'll call me to see where I am), but I'm having this huge party this weekend (DJ, foreign chicks dancing, ect..). I kinda want her there.

If she's a pain in the ass that night, I won't allow contact for a while. It just seems kinda gay if I don't answer her calls ever though. Wouldn't completely ignoring her be obvious? Should I just not make effort like?

She says she's confused about me. I know I'm not her type. She's into emotional guys, who talk about themselves a lot or write poetry.

She likes guys who look like this:

http://www.posterservice.com/bigpics/3786.jpg

or this

http://cache.eonline.com/Features/Awards/Emmys2003/Pics/Images/queereye.jpg

And I look like I was spawned by demons.

But she still goes out of her way to be around me.
 

aftershock

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Originally posted by evoke
I already did the Ganji thing, and two weeks later she hunted me down, then wanted to hang out with me the next day, and following weekend.
Attention ***** perhaps.

You gave into it too easily though. Ganji isn't just about getting the girl, its about getting your mental health back!

Originally posted by evoke

I'll lay low a little bit (she expects me to be out tomorrow night, but I feel like going somewhere else, no doubt she'll call me to see where I am), but I'm having this huge party this weekend (DJ, foreign chicks dancing, ect..). I kinda want her there.
I can see it now.

Scenario 1: Shes not there. You end up getting drunk as hell, dance with several HBs and end up having a threesome with a Korean and a Latino. You enjoy the night.

Scenario 2: Shes there. You spend all night thinking about her, and she fvcks some other guy. You get angry. Next day she calls you up you forgive her. You feel like crap.

Originally posted by evoke

If she's a pain in the ass that night, I won't allow contact for a while. It just seems kinda gay if I don't answer her calls ever though. Wouldn't completely ignoring her be obvious? Should I just not make effort like?
Err, shes a woman, your a man. So what? I've ignored fvcked up chicks in the past and they get the hint eventually. You might lose a friend, but rather that than you're DIGNITY!

As I've said above, why risk her wrecking your party? In fact, you know that she's going to wreck your party.

Originally posted by evoke

She says she's confused about me. I know I'm not her type. She's into emotional guys, who talk about themselves a lot or write poetry.

She likes guys who look like this:

http://www.posterservice.com/bigpics/3786.jpg

or this

http://cache.eonline.com/Features/Awards/Emmys2003/Pics/Images/queereye.jpg

And I look like I was spawned by demons.
Now we get to the real cause of your problem - confidence. The most important trait of a DJ. Read some inspirational Bible posts on confidence.

Recognise one thing - this chick is DESTROYING you.

Forget her. Now.
 

evoke

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There's no lack of confidence here. I love how I look. Girls usually do to.

EDIT:

And the more likely scenerio's:

1: She's not there. Everyone asks where I went off to when I head off to be alone.

2: She's there. She latches on to me the entire night. Everyone asks where I went off to when I head to the beadroom with her. We make out forever, clothes come offf, she pulls another "Let's be friends" stunt, and I get pissed off again. Rinse, repeat. (note: yeah, this is from past experiences)

But yeah. I shouldn't invite her.
 
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[]D [] []V[] []D

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Im kinda confused in this thread.... it seems like to me that evoke is getting this babe with her and evoke is all in control?

By the way... what's a oneitis ?
 

Kaine

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"You must have missed the part where I said we have a weird relationship."

You missed the part where she was hitting on you.

Did you escalate it? Did she actually say NO!

Don't listen to her words, look at her actions

Lead her and go for home run


Kaine
 

evoke

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(excuse any errors, I just had some friends over and I'm a bit inebriated)

No, I didn't try escalating it. I WAS reading her actions, and her actions said that she wanted to go home to bed. Last thing I needed that night, was to try sticking some girl when she's got the hiccups, keeps yawning, and can't even finish the beer in front of her. She was already yawning (whenever she was talking about something) and spilling drinks back at the bar. Plus I had a bunch of people over and like 5 other girls on their way over. Really bad timing, and she backed off on the physical stuff well before she plopped down on the floor with the hiccups. I know how she gets when she drinks too much, and I wasn't going to bother. ("The room keeps spi... zzzzz....")

The only thing I was curious about was the comment she made about being stood up by this poof. I mean, I've seen him around, and she didn't seem too interested in him at the time. I'm not sure if she was using his name as leverage, or if she really was depressed that the ponce didn't take her to some party that night. Why would she even tell me that?

When she was leaving I jokingly thanked her for making me her backup plan that night. "Hehe, don't say that.". Whatever.

The only mistake I really made was not trying harder to keep her from driving, but she is damn strong willed.

We've already been over the fact that we're always drinking when we're together (I'll typically will be out with my friends at least 5 nights a week anyway, but I've been conditioned to drink constantly, my poor liver), but as soon as we try doing things sober, she wants to hit a bar anyway. She's really shy and akward (even on the phone she sounds like she's afraid to talk to me) around me when she isn't lit, and by the time she feels the alcohol there's only this small window of oppurtunity before she goes too far and either turns into a b1tch or falls alseep.

I hate the fact that I can't get her off my mind, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do to shake her. Even when I'm out with another girl, I start thinking about her and nothing stops that. I've been bewitched.
 
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