Was oddly ignored by a younger girl. What gives??

[itouchyou]

I'm 35 but look much younger - moved into a new apartment building a while ago. Our floor decided to have a dinner with a few of the people on the floor invited. We decided to wait at the elevator at the time of the dinner so we could walk there together.

Anyways - it was supposed to be five people - myself, three girls, and another guy.

I already knew the guy and one girl, and us three were at the elevator chatting. The fourth girl was already downstairs, and the fifth girl had just opened her door which was maybe 30 feet away from us. She started walking towards us and we all looked towards her.

Here's what trips me up - the entire time she walks towards us, she completely avoids eye contact with me. Not even a split second glance. When she reaches us she says hi to the girl, introduces herself to the guy, and completely ignores me. I'm standing there just amused at that point waiting to see if she acknowledges me - she doesn't. Once we get to the restaurant and sit down, after we get our drinks she acknowledges my existence after we all introduce ourselves.

My gut tells me that this is a classic sign of the girl feeling intimidated and not wanting to show any interest in order to pre-emptively avoid being rejected.

For what it's worth - I'm a good looking guy and very well dressed - I stand out. I only say that to clarify that I'm not some ugly guy that repels women, as that is a possibility to consider in this type of scenario.

Am I right in my assessment? Never encountered this behavior before.

 

[SW15]

I wouldn't give this a second thought. This isn't even a seduction scenario. She lives in your building on the same floor. You don't poop on your own backyard.

Your best case from this would be making a female acquaintance or female friend for a social circle introduction in the future. It is possible that any of those 3 women on your apartment building floor could introduce you to a single friend, sister, or co-worker.

 

[OngBak]

If you are a good looking guy then you should already know, that she is doing it deliberately to lower your self-esteem. Woman always play these games with guys they feel are out of their league. The next possible thing she might do is talking to a 400 pounds obese guy with the amount of testosterone of a woman and give him fvck me eyes while ignoring you.

I would stay away from her, as a good looking guy myself woman like this are more likely to be mentally ill, enough experience to generalise it.

 

[RangerMIke]

When a woman avoids eye contact it means she doesn't want to engage. Why she doesn't want to engage doesn't matter, just respect her wishes and ignore her.

The only advice I have for is to avoid overthinking things.... accept reality and move on.

 

[itouchyou]

I wouldn't give this a second thought. This isn't even a seduction scenario. She lives in your building on the same floor. You don't poop on your own backyard.

Your best case from this would be making a female acquaintance or female friend for a social circle introduction in the future. It is possible that any of those 3 women on your apartment building floor could introduce you to a single friend, sister, or co-worker.

I am not interested in her - I was just surprised at her behavior. Literally right as she walked out her door she ignored me.. almost makes me think she saw me out of her peephole and decided to do that.

If you are a good looking guy then you should already know, that she is doing it deliberately to lower your self-esteem. Woman always play these games with guys they feel are out of their league. The next possible thing she might do is talking to a 400 pounds obese guy with the amount of testosterone of a woman and give him fvck me eyes while ignoring you.

I would stay away from her, as a good looking guy myself woman like this are more likely to be mentally ill, enough experience to generalise it.

so you agree it was fear on her part?

 

[SW15]

I am not interested in her - I was just surprised at her behavior. Literally right as she walked out her door she ignored me.. almost makes me think she saw me out of her peephole and decided to do that.

It's odd behavior. You have a valid point there. In almost every apartment complex that is sizable (10+ units), there's going to be at least one odd person.

Dating a woman in your own apartment complex is shiiting in your own backyard, especially when she lives on the same floor as you and down the hall. That's too close. When things go bad, and they often will, you'll still have to see this woman. That's uncomfortable.

In larger apartment communities (I would call that 200+ units), you might be able to justify dating someone in the complex under one of 2 scenarios.

• If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
• If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This happens from time to time. It’s a statement of who she is, not who you are, I can promise you that (unless, there is some backstory between you that we are unaware of, ie did she catch you staring one day? Do you act as anxious in her presence as you do inquiring on her behavior in this thread?)

Personally, I would have mirrored her, been as polite to her as anyone else when we sat down which would be a dominant display of confidence, and then simply gone with the flow of the table.

What would be interesting to know is how the rest of the night played out?

 

[Tilex]

Maybe that guy was her type and you didn't appear on her radar based on her preferences.
It's happened to me before in a completely different scenario.

It is what it is.
Maybe she prefers blondes or maybe she prefers guys with no facial hair.
Who knows? Maybe she has a redhead fetish. Maybe she has a boyfriend.

There's too many maybe's with very little background information.
You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about all the "what if's".
There's really nothing to go by. I would just move on and forget about the whole situation.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly not really worth worrying about why someone doesn't have basic manners.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most people aren’t walking around on the make all the time. Most people have a lot on their mind.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Most people aren’t walking around on the make all the time. Most people have a lot on their mind.

there have been studies that says men have on their mind sex like 95% of the time and women only 10% of the time... something like that.

it's biology so I wouldn't blame the OP.

 

[mikedee]

I'm 35 but look much younger - moved into a new apartment building a while ago. Our floor decided to have a dinner with a few of the people on the floor invited. We decided to wait at the elevator at the time of the dinner so we could walk there together.

Anyways - it was supposed to be five people - myself, three girls, and another guy.

I already knew the guy and one girl, and us three were at the elevator chatting. The fourth girl was already downstairs, and the fifth girl had just opened her door which was maybe 30 feet away from us. She started walking towards us and we all looked towards her.

Here's what trips me up - the entire time she walks towards us, she completely avoids eye contact with me. Not even a split second glance. When she reaches us she says hi to the girl, introduces herself to the guy, and completely ignores me. I'm standing there just amused at that point waiting to see if she acknowledges me - she doesn't. Once we get to the restaurant and sit down, after we get our drinks she acknowledges my existence after we all introduce ourselves.

My gut tells me that this is a classic sign of the girl feeling intimidated and not wanting to show any interest in order to pre-emptively avoid being rejected.

For what it's worth - I'm a good looking guy and very well dressed - I stand out. I only say that to clarify that I'm not some ugly guy that repels women, as that is a possibility to consider in this type of scenario.

Am I right in my assessment? Never encountered this behavior before.

You're probably not her type and she doesn't care.

 

[OngBak]

I am not interested in her - I was just surprised at her behavior. Literally right as she walked out her door she ignored me.. almost makes me think she saw me out of her peephole and decided to do that.



so you agree it was fear on her part?

Yes, I know the difference between ignoring you because a woman isn’t attracted to you and ignoring you because they are secretly attracted to you.
She probably likes you, but woman like that will only harm your psyche with their games.
I wouldn’t even waste a second thought about her. Have some self-respect and don’t waste your time with such a Person. Spend your time with woman who are confident and interested enough in getting to know you without these games.

 

[itouchyou]

You're probably not her type and she doesn't care.

This has nothing to do with me being her type. I'm not interested in her.

The behavior was just very odd.

 

[mikedee]

This has nothing to do with me being her type. I'm not interested in her.

The behavior was just very odd.

You worry too much.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

If you are a good looking guy then you should already know, that she is doing it deliberately to lower your self-esteem. Woman always play these games with guys they feel are out of their league. The next possible thing she might do is talking to a 400 pounds obese guy with the amount of testosterone of a woman and give him fvck me eyes while ignoring you.

I would stay away from her, as a good looking guy myself woman like this are more likely to be mentally ill, enough experience to generalise it.

This seems dubious

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Ong,

"....ignoring you because they are secretly attracted to you.
She probably likes you"...You stole my thunder,absolutely agree...The mind of a Woman is a very complex place,in my experience if a Woman irrationally snubs you,paradoxically she is attracting your interest,saying look at me I am perhaps a cut above you,catch me if you can!

 

[holidayad_]

If you are a good looking guy then you should already know, that she is doing it deliberately to lower your self-esteem. Woman always play these games with guys they feel are out of their league.

That explains a lot.