wait for her to ask me if I wanna be in a relationship?

[21-Q'z]

I got a question: I read in some article that u should always wait for the girl to come up 2 u and ask her if u wanna be in a relationship. Say theres a girl who had high IL and everything and who I kissed and did stuff with and who really seemed to wanna be with me (she did have relationship before and goes for that thing) and then I ask her if she wants a relationship with me and she says that she doesnt and tells me that it is because she doesnt really have a crush on me all of a sudden and so on. Would u say the reason y this happened is because I made the mistake of asking her?

 

[trajhenkhet]

Who knows the reason. Asking does not slide her mind either way though.

 

[Quick]

Asking her was a mistake, but she didn't all of a sudden lose interest because of that. I'm willing to bet that wasn't the only mistake you made along the way that caused her to lose interest in you. Or, she may have never wanted you very much, and was just with you till someone else came along. Who knows, who cares. Move her out of your life and find someone else.

 

[21-Q'z]

Yeah it was probably not the only mistake but it was a big one tho, I guess. She still wants me tho...its kinda different, but Ima start datin other girls and set a time limit for this girl.....I mean I think I got a good chance of making it work but if I dont itll hurt at first but after a while it'll b cool..I know that (cause Im not AFC alllll the way)

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by 21-Q'z
I got a question: I read in some article that u should always wait for the girl to come up 2 u and ask her if u wanna be in a relationship.

What the article probably meant was that it is the girl who initiates the conversation in which you determine whether you enter into in an exclusive relationship or not. But this must happen sometime after you have already been dating her for perhaps a few months.

It does not mean a girl, who shows IL, will approach you and ask to be in a relationship. For a guy a relationship is not defined by asking "are we in a relationship?" it is just a function of the fact that you hang togther a lot and have physical intimacy.

 

[21-Q'z]

havent really been datin her...just knew her a lil for a few months and then we kissed like umm..3 times and i stayed ova at her house the last time..all of that happened in a week tho.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Here is some advice from the Doc Love System.

A man should never ask if a woman wants to be his girlfriend. It's a very weak approach -- a turnoff and a woman will not agree to be your girlfriend unless she is already in love with you (90% interest level). There's no mystery, no Challenge in it. Besides, when you have to ask a woman for commitment, 90% of the time the answer is "no."

Your primary job in the courtship process, , is simply to raise the woman's Interest Level in you. That will automatically happen if you follow the guidelines of "The System" whenever you are out with a woman (provided she has 51% Interest Level in you to begin with).

And the cool thing is that once a woman's level of interest in you has reached critical mass, she will be the one to "close" you for commitment She'll be saying things like: "So does this mean we're going steady?" or, "Are you seeing anyone else?" or, "So where is this relationship going?"

 

[trajhenkhet]

Date with the intent to have fun. Not to look for a lifetime mate. No one is psychic enough to weed out such people. I will tell you from my experience that even after knowing certain aspects of people, you still don't know their character deep down. I've dated uber religious ladies, ladies who thought they were all that, and even the "Plain Jane's" and let me tell ya, I didn't see half their odd crap till dating them for awhile. So after my last crash and burn I have vowed to just have fun. Maybe one of these ladies can sway my mind

 

[DjDreamer]

Choose your words carefully.

Ask her if she wishes to have fun with you on a regular basis. Let her know you enjoy her company and your looking forward to seeing more of her in the future.

 

[21-Q'z]

That advice from the doc love system is actually just what i was talkin about..read it somewhere else tho. But anyways, how long should I continue this thing..I mean Im gonna continue dating her do stuff together with her and everything but I dont wanna do this for the rest of my life lol u feelin me? I read some advice on this page which stated that with such ppl u should give them all ur love and affection and everything..for a certain amount of time, say 2 weeks and then not spend any time with her at all..pretend to be busy and everything for like a week and by then she should be the one tellin u she wants a relationship cause u "created a void in her life".....I thought I was gonna date for one week now (after this break we took before) then were both on holidays for like 2 weeks or so and then I should spend the next 2 weeks together with her..like givin her all my love and stuff lol and then just be busy for a week and unless she tells me she wants a relationship by then that Ill be like..hey im seein somebody else thats y i was busy all the time..and I might hook up with this girl..or do you think u can imagine getting into a relationship with me now? (not askin her directly to be my g/f)

Do yall think thats the way to go?