There are two possible ways of getting someone: pursue or be pursued. With one you get quantity, with the other you get certainty. With one you get flakes and uncertainties, with the other you get missed opportunities and table scraps. No one wants leftovers, not even after Thanksgiving.
While it is better to bust your balls than wait for anything in life, it is even better combining for optimal results. Let's look at all three approaches:
THE BLIND PURSUIT
You see someone you like, you approach them. You smile, you flirt, you ask for their home phone number, you ask them out on a date, you arrange date details, you date. You risk rejection every step along the way, but that's the price to pay for being someone who goes after what you want. You will deal with a high rate of flakes and will have no clear view of their genuine interest, at least not until you stop pursuing and witness if they pursue back.
THE FISHING NET
You wait to be pursued. Downside, if the person you want doesn't pursue you, or those who pursue you are not what you truly desire, you're screwed. This highly weak approach is what (al)most (all) women adopt, as do chumps. No guts, no glory.
THE SMART BOMB
First you wait and see who, if anyone, gravitates towards you. You don't flirt, you don't approach. You assess others' interest in you lacking any pursuit on your behalf, because remember pursuing someone blurs your judgement of their genuine interest. You will find others' behavior fit into one of three categories: ice cold, lukewarm, hot.
Next you switch gears and pursue, this part being the "smart bomb"; you don't go for just any target but the most promising ones, from top to middle.
The effectiveness of the Smart Bomb approach is based in the principle: male-female friendships are impossible to initially form without sexual attraction, for it is sexual attraction which compels us to befriend members of the opposite gender. At least one person must be attracted to another, whether male or female, or both. In cases where neither are attracted, no friendship ever blossoms; in cases of "friends first", both secretly wanted the other from the get-go and were never truly platonic friends. If you hold back your pursuit, hold back befriending, naturally anyone of that opposite gender who befriends you, must be attracted to you; they may not be available, but surely they are attracted.
Be careful in assessing whether a woman is truly gravitating towards you, because if you rush judgement, you will run into false positives, of women who were just being friendly with you (e.g. You were the new guy at work). The way to know if the gravitation is genuine is when the gravitation continues over time, compared with growing cold, and in comparison of the woman's behavior towards other men.
In my now distant past I found that, for the most part, the only women who would gravitate towards me, were women to whom I was not attracted. They were plain women, fat woman, black women, or women whose appearance was frought with disease. Yet, with the occasional exception of the attractive woman, these unattractive women were representative of my true attractiveness to women. Needless to say, only go for women you want and if you don't find attraction in the women who do gravitate towards you, that is your real problem.
While it is better to bust your balls than wait for anything in life, it is even better combining for optimal results. Let's look at all three approaches:
THE BLIND PURSUIT
You see someone you like, you approach them. You smile, you flirt, you ask for their home phone number, you ask them out on a date, you arrange date details, you date. You risk rejection every step along the way, but that's the price to pay for being someone who goes after what you want. You will deal with a high rate of flakes and will have no clear view of their genuine interest, at least not until you stop pursuing and witness if they pursue back.
THE FISHING NET
You wait to be pursued. Downside, if the person you want doesn't pursue you, or those who pursue you are not what you truly desire, you're screwed. This highly weak approach is what (al)most (all) women adopt, as do chumps. No guts, no glory.
THE SMART BOMB
First you wait and see who, if anyone, gravitates towards you. You don't flirt, you don't approach. You assess others' interest in you lacking any pursuit on your behalf, because remember pursuing someone blurs your judgement of their genuine interest. You will find others' behavior fit into one of three categories: ice cold, lukewarm, hot.
Next you switch gears and pursue, this part being the "smart bomb"; you don't go for just any target but the most promising ones, from top to middle.
The effectiveness of the Smart Bomb approach is based in the principle: male-female friendships are impossible to initially form without sexual attraction, for it is sexual attraction which compels us to befriend members of the opposite gender. At least one person must be attracted to another, whether male or female, or both. In cases where neither are attracted, no friendship ever blossoms; in cases of "friends first", both secretly wanted the other from the get-go and were never truly platonic friends. If you hold back your pursuit, hold back befriending, naturally anyone of that opposite gender who befriends you, must be attracted to you; they may not be available, but surely they are attracted.
Be careful in assessing whether a woman is truly gravitating towards you, because if you rush judgement, you will run into false positives, of women who were just being friendly with you (e.g. You were the new guy at work). The way to know if the gravitation is genuine is when the gravitation continues over time, compared with growing cold, and in comparison of the woman's behavior towards other men.
In my now distant past I found that, for the most part, the only women who would gravitate towards me, were women to whom I was not attracted. They were plain women, fat woman, black women, or women whose appearance was frought with disease. Yet, with the occasional exception of the attractive woman, these unattractive women were representative of my true attractiveness to women. Needless to say, only go for women you want and if you don't find attraction in the women who do gravitate towards you, that is your real problem.