Virgin gf uncomfortable with sex

[bensimsJYG]

Been dating this girl since February, and she's had sky-high interest. She's a virgin (only kissed 1 or 2 guys, haven't gone past kissing with anyone but me), good girl, always listen to her parents type. However, she's extremely shy about sex. Since we started dating, we've only done handjobs and fingering. I've tried to get her to blow me pretty much every week, but she always says she doesn't want to and doesn't give much explanation even when I ask her to clarify. It'd make me a little mad, but I'd continue like nothing happened and take the handjob. When I finger her, she usually says she's not wet enough. She's also very tight, to the point where I can't even fit in a second finger. Keep in mind I usually do a lot of foreplay (neck kissing, breast play, etc.) before trying to get a bj or fingering her.

Long story short, I ended up cheating on her (got a bj from another girl), and she didn't want to break up with me. Three weeks later, I got the same thing with her saying that she's uncomfortable with giving a bj blah blah. In the past, I wouldn't get mad over it, but I kind of did tonight. After I came from the handjob I was pretty annoyed at her, and she could tell. I was uninterested in a lot of the things she said and was being snappy at her. She asked "Is there something wrong?" "Why are you being so unresponsive?". I just answered her questions by saying I was fine.

Obviously this whole situation is pretty sh1tty. I do like her personality a lot, but the sex life is sh1t. I do want to f.ck her though and I wanted to get opinions for how to go about this. We're both 18

Thanks

 

[usernamedox11]

pull back attention until she gets the point

 

[VladPatton]

This is why when I smell some chick's a virgin I don't even try. Seen too many. Last one I met was a 34 yr old virgin, you believe that??. Fûcking prude and a half, fûck that shît. All these guys who want these untouched virgins don't realize the sex is dogshît. The struggle is real with virgins, son. And it's NEVER worth it in the end. Just drop her, man, and get a fun chick, like the one that gave you a blowie.

I'm not saying to marry a porn star, but some goddamn sex drive would be mudderfackwin nice.

 

[Starwolf]

virgins become clingy

 

[bensimsJYG]

But you just have to kind of pull back and don't even give her any sexual attention.

So just cut off everything sexual? No kissing, no cuddling, etc.?

Rub her and make her dry hump you, this usually gets them really wanting sex because they feel your c0ck right up against their pvss and can't stop thinking about actually putting it in.

When I have dry humped her with her on top, I could tell she was feeling it from her breathing and jerky movements. Afterwards, she tries to tell me she "felt nothing."

 

[Poon King]

Put her on the shelf a date others. Sleep with her hot friends if you can.

Life is too short to waste emotional energy on cold/dead fish. Have more discipline and avoid oneitis with prudes, virgins and pretty much ALL women. :crackup:

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Been dating this girl since February, and she's had sky-high interest. She's a virgin (only kissed 1 or 2 guys, haven't gone past kissing with anyone but me), good girl, always listen to her parents type. However, she's extremely shy about sex. Since we started dating, we've only done handjobs and fingering. I've tried to get her to blow me pretty much every week, but she always says she doesn't want to and doesn't give much explanation even when I ask her to clarify. It'd make me a little mad, but I'd continue like nothing happened and take the handjob. When I finger her, she usually says she's not wet enough. She's also very tight, to the point where I can't even fit in a second finger. Keep in mind I usually do a lot of foreplay (neck kissing, breast play, etc.) before trying to get a bj or fingering her.

Long story short, I ended up cheating on her (got a bj from another girl), and she didn't want to break up with me. Three weeks later, I got the same thing with her saying that she's uncomfortable with giving a bj blah blah. In the past, I wouldn't get mad over it, but I kind of did tonight. After I came from the handjob I was pretty annoyed at her, and she could tell. I was uninterested in a lot of the things she said and was being snappy at her. She asked "Is there something wrong?" "Why are you being so unresponsive?". I just answered her questions by saying I was fine.

Obviously this whole situation is pretty sh1tty. I do like her personality a lot, but the sex life is sh1t. I do want to f.ck her though and I wanted to get opinions for how to go about this. We're both 18

Thanks

Couple pointers:

-Let someone else break their head over trying to crack that (elusive) nut. Either some alpha-type she vaginally cascades for will get it for far less of the hassle, or some other poor sap will slave away and finally get it after many frustrating months (perhaps a year or more?). Sorry, but your story clearly suggests that you're the latter, not the former. Best bet is to ditch this one and find a girl who will drain your balls, not your sanity and peace of mind.

-Getting visibly annoyed at a girl for not performing (sexually) is textbook beta backsliding. You're subcommunicating that she's the one with the power in the relationship by going that route. Don't ever demonstrate to a girl that some button exists that reads "push me to get under his skin" - she will use it, and with greater frequency the more you flip your sh1t each time she pushes it. You know who comes equipped with one of those? Basically every other guy, save a small minority. Learn how to become part of that small, impervious minority. Become immovable with her, yet fluid with your own life.

-The "good girl" packaging is one of the most deceptive types out there. If there is any type of female you must ruthlessly apply the "watch what she does, not what she says" maxim to, it's this kind of girl. They'll not only seamlessly get you to become a beta orbiter, they'll get you to feel satisfied and fulfilled in being one. Many of them get a rise out of moving the goalposts over and over, but "oh! that wasn't my intention at all! I'm a good girl, remember?" She's not giving you what you want. Snap out of it. Go out and get a chick who won't put you through this migraine. They're out there.

 

[logicallefty]

This is why when I smell some chick's a virgin I don't even try. Seen too many. Last one I met was a 34 yr old virgin, you believe that??. Fûcking prude and a half, fûck that shît. All these guys who want these untouched virgins don't realize the sex is dogshît. The struggle is real with virgins, son. And it's NEVER worth it in the end. Just drop her, man, and get a fun chick, like the one that gave you a blowie.

I'm not saying to marry a porn star, but some goddamn sex drive would be mudderfackwin nice.

Agreed..

 

[stevo]

You ask for sexual actions too much and too often.

Spend one day just pleasing her, do not ask for sex, do not ask for BJ, nothing about you. Excite her sexually, as you touch her, whisper in her ears how you want to be inside her, tell her to moan for you like you were inside her, tell her you want to feel the walls of her punani grab your sausage, sheet like that, you get the point.

That day, you're doing sheet for her pleasure only after you're done, sit down have a normal conversation about whatever she wants to talk about then end the date.

Her emotions would be high.

Leave her be for a while, a week if you can. No meet up, no sex talk.

Next time you meet, dont ask for permission. She walks into your room, she sees a condom on your desk or on your bed. If she ask you what its for, you tell her its for the two of you. If you get any slight resistance, gently quietly take her out of your room, get dressed and go do something outside and reduce contact to bare minimum.

You have to make her mentally curious about having sex with you.

Your actions have to let her know, if youre going to get sexual with her ever again, it'd be you fcuking her. No BJs, No Finger.

If you pull this correctly, you'd fcuk this girl.

Remember keep your emotions to yourself, there's no point acting sheety or losing temper because of sex, that'd definitely make her not wanna fcuk you.

 

[bensimsJYG]

Couple pointers:

-Let someone else break their head over trying to crack that (elusive) nut. Either some alpha-type she vaginally cascades for will get it for far less of the hassle, or some other poor sap will slave away and finally get it after many frustrating months (perhaps a year or more?). Sorry, but your story clearly suggests that you're the latter, not the former. Best bet is to ditch this one and find a girl who will drain your balls, not your sanity and peace of mind.

-Getting visibly annoyed at a girl for not performing (sexually) is textbook beta backsliding. You're subcommunicating that she's the one with the power in the relationship by going that route. Don't ever demonstrate to a girl that some button exists that reads "push me to get under his skin" - she will use it, and with greater frequency the more you flip your sh1t each time she pushes it. You know who comes equipped with one of those? Basically every other guy, save a small minority. Learn how to become part of that small, impervious minority. Become immovable with her, yet fluid with your own life.

-The "good girl" packaging is one of the most deceptive types out there. If there is any type of female you must ruthlessly apply the "watch what she does, not what she says" maxim to, it's this kind of girl. They'll not only seamlessly get you to become a beta orbiter, they'll get you to feel satisfied and fulfilled in being one. Many of them get a rise out of moving the goalposts over and over, but "oh! that wasn't my intention at all! I'm a good girl, remember?" She's not giving you what you want. Snap out of it. Go out and get a chick who won't put you through this migraine. They're out there.

I know it may sound like I've been beta and that's why she won't have sex, but I really do think it's just a product of how sheltered she is and the way she was raised. I made it a point to not be beta and give in to her at all, and it's worked out nicely besides that. I keep her at an arm's length only talking to her a couple times a week, choosing my guy friends over her everytime, not paying for dinner or anything, cheating on her when she wasn't willing to put out, and generally being emotionally unavailable. The result is her not breaking up with me when I cheated on her and complaining that we don't see each other enough.

Again, I know the "good girl" package may be deceiving, but I'm the first guy this girl has ever done anything sexual with and she's been living a sheltered life.

 

[bensimsJYG]

If you havent got this girl to open her legs by now then she believe she can keep your interest without sex and that is BAD news. Move on.

I did cheat on her though so shouldn't that get the message across that I have other options and won't stay around if she keeps denying sex?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Fvck another girl, and dial up your girl's number and let her hear the moans and screams of that chick your screwing. Then take a picture of you giving it to her doggy style and another one for facial at the end.

Jk don't do that.

Everything else has already been said to you bro, I mean I don't know what to tell you cuz it's all been said: leave her or tell her that if she doesn't put out that you'll leave her.

Simple as that dude. And if nismo will allow me to, CASE CLOSED.

 

[bensimsJYG]

tell her that if she doesn't put out that you'll leave her.

Just straight up tell her that I need sex to be in a committed relationship and I'll break up if we don't have sex? Wouldn't that just be threatening her and making her feel more pressured/uncomfortable with sex

 

[JohnChops]

This is why when I smell some chick's a virgin I don't even try. Seen too many. Last one I met was a 34 yr old virgin, you believe that??. Fûcking prude and a half, fûck that shît. All these guys who want these untouched virgins don't realize the sex is dogshît. The struggle is real with virgins, son. And it's NEVER worth it in the end. Just drop her, man, and get a fun chick, like the one that gave you a blowie.

I'm not saying to marry a porn star, but some goddamn sex drive would be mudderfackwin nice.

Ahahahaha I've been saying this for years. **** virgins, horrid sex and they aren't even fun. I like a girl with at least some expierence. I lol at guys who want virgin.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Just straight up tell her that I need sex to be in a committed relationship and I'll break up if we don't have sex? Wouldn't that just be threatening her and making her feel more pressured/uncomfortable with sex

Yeah. It can be seen as a threat, or as a complaint that she isn't filling in her role as a woman in the relationship. However she wants to see it is up to her, but you gotta be willing to follow through with breaking up with her if she says no. You even told us that you can tell she felt it when you were dry humping, but she flat out lies and basically tells you that you aren't good enough cuz she didn't feel a thing.

Look, don't get all pissed off at her (even though it is reasonable) because it isn't completely her fault. Probably just insecure that she doesn't know what to do or because she doesn't like her body, or the way she was brought up like you said. But the problem is, she ain't ever gonna lose her virginity willingly. All this stuff that I had said, that everyone else has said, is just so that you get what you want. Place your needs in front of others. It isn't selfish despite that brainwashing societal conformity bullsh!t. I mean, you have wants and needs that need to be fulfilled too. EVERY guy does. If you want to have sex, go with a girl who will. You can find a girl just like the current one you have right now except that she will have sex with you.

 

[VladPatton]

Ahahahaha I've been saying this for years. **** virgins, horrid sex and they aren't even fun. I like a girl with at least some expierence. I lol at guys who want virgin.

Hellz yeah, man. Especially when they're cute as fûck, too...what a waste! I can imagine that first night in bed.....ever try to open a rusty bear trap??

 

[Serenity]

Had a friend in this situation, they broke up. This girl won't do anything she doesn't feel like doing, you're probably pushing too much. Find a way to trigger her curiosity, to make her want it. Hint: psychological stimulation will probably be more effective than physical stimulation.

 

[Johari7]

Do 68 or 69.
Have you ever gone down on her? Maybe she doesn't think it's fair to be the only one giving.

Honestly I'd rather do the real thing than settle for oral. You can skip a few bases before making a home run ya know.


But seriously if you don't want anything long term stop talking to her because if she does have sex and you leave/cheat she might get crazy with her emotions all over the place. Do you really want a stalker?

 

[Johari7]

Oops didn't mean to double post.

I just think you should be more assertive

 

[bensimsJYG]

Just wanted to update this thread since you guys helped me out a lot.

She actually started blowing me three days after I made this thread. We had just got to her place after an EDM concert, and I was spending the night there. We started making out in her bed, and I went to eat her out (this was the first time I had done so). She said she didn't want me to because she'd feel obligated to reciprocate. I told that I really wanted to eat her out, and we "agreed" that she would only have to blow me for like 10 seconds. Well that night, I got her to go from 10 seconds, to a few minutes, to eventually swallowing my ***. Now she blows me and swallows whenever I ask. On the week of our prom/after prom, she blew me 6 times.

The first time we fvcked was about a month after. I tried smashing the night of prom, but she started telling me about how she was nervous and it would be weird for her not to be a virgin anymore. I told her that sex would make the emotional bond between us stronger, you should do this for the relationship, I love you, etc. etc. and we agreed to finally have sex the weekend after after prom weekend. That Friday came and when I was about to put the condom on, she was freaking out. She was really nervous, and asked to make out for a few more minutes before we had sex. We did, I put the condom on, and we fvcked. Sex is great. Now we fvck most of the times we're together, so 2-3 times a week. She's actually 3 weeks late on her period, and bought a couple pregnancy tests (both came back negative) out of anxiety. Also, I bruised her cervix, so I'm going to have to take a break from sex for a little bit anyway.

So thanks for all the advice. I guess this is the part where I just kick back, relax, and enjoy the sex in the relationship without worrying about any tiny details.

Now just to figure out what to do when we go to college 1000 miles away from each other in the fall...