Using humor "correctly"

[flint]

So I have a question for you guys. I see a lot of you saying humor helps, and I also notice that in a lot of your approach journals and everything you use humor when approaching.

One problem I have is that I'm actually very funny, I can go to a party or a bar or whatever and have people I just met laughing all the time. My problem is I can't seem to translate that over to building attraction.

So my question is, if you already have a good sense of humor how do you use it the right way to build attraction, versus just being a fun guy to party with?

 

[horaholic]

Just dont make humor you main source of value. If you do that, you turn into 'dancing monkey boy,' or the court jester. Dont forget to be plenty serious at the same time. There is a line between the 'life of the party,' and the parties 'entertainment.' Another way to put it is to not use humor to 'win' people over. If you do that, you have established yourself as lower value. Have a mindset that you are 'rewarding people' with laughter, if they prove themselves worthy first.

Try using humor as your opener, and to make your set comfortable with your presence. Then you need to switch to serious mode, so they know you arent just the party clown, throwing humor in a little more sparingly.

 

[HarlequinMan]

exactly....humor is a good tool but cant be your only one...use it sparingly or youll turn into court jester like above poster said...remember your ultimate goal isnt to make girls laugh, its to build attraction

 

[Dannyrt34]

"You can be funny, as long as you still have character."
-Conan O'brien on his final episode at late night

It's good you have that ability, but make sure you don't use disguising who you really are as a person. Nobody can really know what you're like as a person unless you show your serious side as well, confidently.

 

[AGBourne]

The key is to be witty and a bit of sarcasm. Not the guy who tells jokes.

Just like Wolf said, you want it to be a part of your personality not something you do with girls.