Using Challenge all the way

[charlezz]

Fellow Dons,

Been seeing this girl for 3weeks (around 5 dates.) Everything was great. Hold hands while walking on the street. K, Makeout close.

I have been quite a challenge, not showing neediness, DHV, C&F ,some negs. Everything is done right imo.

Got her to the stage when she kept initiating txt msgs to me and occasionally calling me (contacting me nearly everyday,)

FYI, I seldom initiate contacting her, but I do show her Male to female IOIs via actual dates and responding to her txt msg in a positive DJ manner.

Slight problem (or is it just me being sensitive?)

Had a very good date with her last sunday :yes: (I'm a guitarist and I performed on stage for a song for a cafe during that date, making her feel great!)

But the date ended pretty early becuase her friend had some relationship problems and need her help (I believe as I saw her friend quarreling with the bf)

Monday she She text me saying my performance was great. We fluff msg a bit.

Tuesday.. She never contact me, samely, I never contact her as usual.

Wed.. I called her, but everything was great. Set up a date on Sunday.. And she said she missed me… (First time she ever said that)

Till today, (Friday), we haven't contact one another.. I am dying to call her and hear her voice but still I am trying to exert Challenge into this relationship..

Would you guys call before Sunday? Or totally no contacts before Sunday (proving that I have a busy life to manage.)

Partially I'm seeking advice here is due to the fact that she's not contacting me like usual although I can feel that she's into me.

If I'm just pure sensitive, just reprimand me and I will laugh at myself. Hahaha (Not used to using challenge in my dating game.)

Thanks buddies~!

 

[Phyzzle]

Would you guys call before Sunday?

No! None of this "call to confirm" crap! If you need to cancel, call her.

Instead, take all the terriffic things you wanna say and say them IN PERSON on Sunday.

 

[blueguy]

I think that's all you need is a reprimand because it sounds like you know what to do. Don't screw it up now.

 

[charlezz]

Yah, Cause I am not used to using the DJ style and all these techniques, so i tend to feel a bit uncomfortable and have the tiniest doubt of whether will it work or fail.

=)

 

[blueguy]

It's good... you're setting a good foundation. Just the tiniest details here snowball later on so it's best to set it right. It's very possible she has not called these days (whether she knows) to test your interest. If you would have failed her test and called on Friday, she would realize that she can pull back a little. Then you get nervous for fear of losing her after the pullback and push a little more, then she pulls a little more... and before you know it you're begging at her knees and your entire game is screwed. Don't fall prey to the bait. As long as you're getting the dates and the action to the frequency you want it, all is good. If she is truely interested in you, she won't let it screw up either. So no worries.

 

[squirrels]

If the hook starts to slip loose, does the fish struggle to lodge it deeper? Remember, you're the catch here. Her breaking the date would be the biggest mistake she could ever make, because the next cutie is waiting.

 

[charlezz]

Just now she initiate txt message me (friday evening at my time zone)

HB : What are you doing now?
Me : I'm going to a great club called XXX with my friends later. =)

No reply from her for the night.. Gosh. **** test?? Makes me a bit shaky, but i refrain myself from msging/calling her since she never reply.

 

[charlezz]

Updates..

We went for a date (day5-6) on saturday. And she's all over me.. (hugging me and sticking to me like a superglue in the public.) kept saying she misses me a lot. and asking stuffs like LTR things.. Make-out at the end of the date. Full of IOIs from her. She made me commit to sms her everyday, but i just say i will only sms her when i am free. (I am quite aloof in sms/calling and she sense i am not giving her exclusive attention)

The next day (sunday), she called me to say she misses me a lot and asking if i missed her too.. I replied with a "If you have been a good girl, i will =)" Then i secure a date with her to meet up for dinner on tuesday. She show no hesitation in accepting the dinner date.

All sound so great right?

Monday.. She txt me.. that she is unable to meet up for dinner and let's meet up on saturday and misses me a lot.. [Damn its a flake... which really caught me offguard due to her high interest]

I replied: "Its Okay, I will meet up with my friend for dinner then"
She : "Dear... don't you miss me?"
Me : "I do. See you on saturday =)"
She : "I really miss you a lot"


If she really means what she said.. why will she flake on tuesday?

But then again. but then again. she mentioned about meeting up on saturday instead on tuesday.

Am i Oversensitive?

I don't intend to contact her until saturday.

 

[Bonhomme]

A cancellation a day before the date with a counter-offer is not a flake, per se.

In fact, inviting you on Saturday is a big indicator of intrerest. Especially if her work schedule's a typical 9-5 M-F.

 

[cordoncordon]

IMO this woman has some thing/one else in her life. Just little things tell me this. Like the one where she left the date early, now flaking out on this one, and the constantly being needed to be told that you miss her. She wants to know that you are there at her beckon call while she is doing whatever she is doing. The one where she left the date early to "be with her friend" especially after you had just gotten done singing her a song (womans fantasy) to me was very suspicious.

Plus, it seems to me that you should be alot further along at this point as far as physical involvement. At this point you two should be banging like little bunnies, and it sounds like you're still in the high school holding hands/kiss stage.

Time to up the pressure imo, or move on. Next time she texts you asking what you are doing, say you are on a date and you'll get back to her. The even greater thing would be is if you really are on another date.

Options my man, options. You two arent exclusive yet.

 

[Bonhomme]

Yeah, she could be juggling more than one. Which is exactly what you should be doing, charlezz.

 

[charlezz]

IMO this woman has some thing/one else in her life. Just little things tell me this. Like the one where she left the date early, now flaking out on this one, and the constantly being needed to be told that you miss her. She wants to know that you are there at her beck and call while she is doing whatever she is doing. The one where she left the date early to "be with her friend" especially after you had just gotten done singing her a song (womans fantasy) to me was very suspicious.

Plus, it seems to me that you should be alot further along at this point as far as physical involvement. At this point you two should be banging like little bunnies, and it sounds like you're still in the high school holding hands/kiss stage.

Time to up the pressure imo, or move on. Next time she texts you asking what you are doing, say you are on a date and you'll get back to her. The even greater thing would be is if you really are on another date.

Options my man, options. You two arent exclusive yet.

The part when she left the date early is understandable, because she's a foreigner and her best friend is remorsed due to a failed relationship on that particular night.

Its just the Tuesday flaking part that is slightly bothering me.
But.. The massive IOIs she shown is not to be missed out (ie: She bought a CD for me, she bought a "Couple" keychain for the both of us. All over me and kept mentioning to me that she misses me a lot)

I will call that a slight inconsistent behavior.

Of coz, I will continue to sarge on and find for new options.. (Partially, she's the only 'warm' plate that I'm spinning now.. Thus my focused attention on her.)

A PUA friend of mine says that she may be throwing this shet test on me by flaking to see my reaction but I played it cool fortunately.

Things I will do (For you guys to comment/suggest on..)

1) I will not contact her from today to Saturday since we will be meeting up on Saturday.

2) I intend to flake on her on Saturday to test her reaction. since saturday is the prime day, and removing her from the 'exclusive' day. Risky,,, advisable?

3) Do not answer her call/sms and call/sms back the day later.

Am I going on the wrong direction via the 3 points I made above?

Really appreciate the advices you guys are offering. Sincerely..

 

[Phyzzle]

I intend to flake on her on Saturday to test her reaction. Risky,,, advisable?

When she suggested Saturday, you could have said, "no but I can make it Monday." Even that's playin hardball.

Now, it's getting too long. I mean, if you cancel now, how do you seduce the girl if you see her every other week? Just take it, and if she flakes then, she's out.

What country is she from? There's no telling what normal behaviour is over there. Saying "I miss you terribly, but I don't have one hour for the next week to see you," that's not normal at all.

I mean, what does this chick DO for a living that takes up every evening from Tuesday to Saturday? Did she even say what came up Tuesday?

 

[charlezz]

When she suggested Saturday, you could have said, "no but I can make it Monday." Even that's playin hardball.

Now, it's getting too long. I mean, if you cancel now, how do you seduce the girl if you see her every other week? Just take it, and if she flakes then, she's out.

What country is she from? There's no telling what normal behaviour is over there. Saying "I miss you terribly, but I don't have one hour for the next week to see you," that's not normal at all.

I mean, what does this chick DO for a living that takes up every evening from Tuesday to Saturday? Did she even say what came up Tuesday?

That's a good one.. really good one..

She is a korean. Firstly. I'm not particularly sure why she's staying in my country (Singapore, I'm a chinese.) She mentioned that she's living in singapore for 3 months and later staying long term to study english. (She comes from a rich family).

One really suspicious thing… She's always drunk.. I notice at least 4times in 3 weeks that she's drunk when she contacted me.. She may be hiding something from me. I doubt she may be seeing another guy but I do suspect extreme stuffs like ….
1) she has a sugar daddy.
2) she may be a hostess (indecent in my country)
3) other possibilities.. (Or maybe she really has another man). Then again. I maybe just oversensitive.. or She may smell trouble.

Weighing all the infos I have given,
Should I even bother to call her and know more about her daily stuffs? I hate to intrude and probe into her life as it may seems I really care..

 

[Cod3r]

One really suspicious thing… She's always drunk.. I notice at least 4times in 3 weeks that she's drunk when she contacted me.. She may be hiding something from me. I doubt she may be seeing another guy but I do suspect extreme stuffs like ….
1) she has a sugar daddy.
2) she may be a hostess (indecent in my country)

hilarious, tks for the laughs


-Cod3r

 

[charlezz]

Arh.. Its not uncommon.. some of my close female friends admitted of having at least a sugar daddy before.

 

[cordoncordon]

Very interesting, I didn't realize that both of you were from outside the USA.

This sugar daddy thing-very wierd. Must be an Asian thing. I know its joked upon here in the USA but it's VERY uncommon here. Most of the time a girl who has one here is a prostitute.

Hmmmmmm, something is going on but I'm not sure what lol. She definetly is acting "odd" in the fact that she says all of these VERY romantic/close relationship things like "I miss you" and such, and yet seems to hardly have anytime to see you. Something shady is going on with her.

Have you asked her what she does for a living? How she spends her time?

IMO don't flake Saturday night. That would be a mistake. I think that you should get her drunk, turn up the physical aspect during that date, and try to get her into bed asap. I say this because it's just a feeling that this could never be a long lasting relationship-something is just "odd" like i said about her. So get what you can out of it and move on.

And stop OVERANALYZING this! You are spending entirely too much time coming up with plans/scenarios about a woman when you should be using that time to better yourself and meet other more desirable women.

 

[Vulpine]

NOW HEAR THIS!

The expression is "beckon call", as in, "to receive a call beckoning"

It is not "beck and call".

Look up "beck", then look up "beckon" if you need confirmation.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=172898

THAT IS ALL!

 

[charlezz]

NOW HEAR THIS!

The expression is "beckon call", as in, "to receive a call beckoning"

It is not "beck and call".

Look up "beck", then look up "beckon" if you need confirmation.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=172898

THAT IS ALL!

I don't really get what you mean..

If you don't mind can explain further? Thanks buddy =)

 

[hck332]

you suck. You aint a "challenge" you're just acting.

Acting like you dont care, and then analysing every single SMS she sent to you...