Update on on-line dating experiences

[stevera004]

Hi:

I think others can benefit from my experiences, so here goes.

Have been going mental with the on-line dating the past 2 weeks. Lots of IM, email, etc. (waste of time generally, and a waste of money (must pay for IM, email)).

OK, arranged 2 meetings. Chick #1 and I met at a local mall. Very very sweet girl, 5 ft 4 in 115 lbs 26 years old HB7. Very feminine, shy, humble. She was from E. Europe (moved here when she was 12), so that explains a lot of her class. But, there is sometimes a catch with online dating, and sometimes the pictures do lie. In her case, she was noticeably cross-eyed. It didn't bother me, but what did bother me was what others would say about it ( I'm pathetic, but that's the truth). We had a nice dinner, I led the converstaion completely. Ratio of talking was 80/20 in my favour. I could tell she dug me big-time (eg. mentioned her recent vacation, and stated that it would have been more fun if I went with her! etc.). Discussed typical (for me anyways) topics; like past bf's/gf's; hobbies, work,, family, future goals, etc. We parted with a kiss on the cheek. Surprise, surprise, she emails me the next day tellling me what a great time she had. Probably won't contact her.

Just came back from a meet with a 29 y.o. HB8.5; 5 ft 8in 140lbs (and the weight was properly distributed, eg. in the chest and hips, not on the gut). This one is a recent arrival from ex-Soviet Union (3 months). Her english was so-so; I had to speak slowly to communicate with her (I tend to talk too fast anyways). Had lunch; she suggested we go for a walk. Walked a bit; then off to ice-cream downtown. With her, I couldn't tell if she dug me. Best guess is if I pursue her actively then she's mine. Probably won't.

There's something about those E. European women; far far far superior to the locally produced hags. I don't think I will ever go back to local.

Best,

 

[TooColdUlrick]

you're talking too much. at most it should be 50/50. i try to get it 80/20 in their favor. if it's 80/20 in your favor, you're bound to be braggin a bit, and you won't get any dirt about her!

i've had pretty good results from online. but i don't pay for anything. just have the free yahoo (and let the chicks contact me) and yahoo chat. the latter is where it's at, for me anyway.

good luck...like anything, it's a skill. too many people our age dismiss it as chumpish. and of course, to get good at it, you have to DO IT.

 

[stevera004]

TooCold,

I agree. I like to talk less, but the women just didn't have very much to say.

What's preferrable, silence or forcing the conversation along? (This isn't a rhetorical question, I don't know). Honestly, I find that silence; especially around people/women I don't yet know, is uncomfortable. I also think that sub-conciously I feel that I have a need to perform (probably due to a insecurity complex).

Best,

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Here's another one, a young cub venturing into the online forest. Don't sweat it though, most people come out of it with the same impression. Understand that I'm not saying that it's true, but that you aren't the only one to go in unprepared and come out of it frustrated.

First and foremost, if it isn't readily apparent that she has a high interest level in you and would want to meet you don't waste your time. Yeah, this means that you will definitely diminish your pool of available women, but it's all about qualifying them first. Why waste the time on speculation?

Learn the rules of the game first before stepping up to the plate. Expect to strike out at first but also understand that you are there to improve your swing too.

It sounds that once you got a couple of bites you did fairly well. I will agree that there is a definite difference between North American women and those from across the pond, but that's another thread altogether.

 

[Dirtheart]

Give Myspace.com a try. It's free and there are lots of people there. I have a profile online, but I haven't used the site seriously so far. I've only had about 30 views but had around 8 mails. I'm sure if I started contacting people and getting my profile seen it could be a cool way to meet and date women.

I haven't tried online dating yet, although my friend keeps pushing me to try it. She believes my personality will be more suited to women online than the shallow club drones I usually date.

 

[GirlCrazy]

What's preferrable, silence or forcing the conversation along?

It shouldn't be forced. Just ask her alot of questions about her. Lots of material to work with a chick from another country. If she's shy you just have to be more persistent about prying conversation out of her.

if it's 80/20 in your favor, you're bound to be braggin a bit, and you won't get any dirt about her!

Man aint that the truth! Let her open up while you stay a mystery.

I agree. I like to talk less, but the women just didn't have very much to say.

Pepper them with questions. I would have had a string of (mostly sexual c&f) questions from those foreign chicks:


"Is it cold in russia? You know chicks with furry hats kinda turn me on ..."

"Do you own a furry hat?"

"Tell me about the soviet union"

"Can I call you 'comrade' ?"

"What's your favorite thing about america?"

"Somebody told me you can't get any ibuprofen in eastern europe ... How about you cook me dinner and I'll give you 4 advil ... just kidding ... no serious I could probably do 10 advil ..."

"If I buy you a furry hat will you dance around my house naked wearing it?"

 

[stevera004]

re. online dating. It is actually turning out better than I would have thought. I have met 4 chicks in the past 2.5 weeks (I think I posted one of the other ones previously, i did not post about the woman who 'forgot' to tell me that she had a 6 year old and needed a replacement daddy

re. my technique. My technique was amazing with HB7. It was only so-so with HB8.5; don't think that my game was fatally bad, but her hotness did intimidate me and I got thrown off.

I am feeling creeping one-itis for HB8.5. Sad, but it will pass shortly. Hopefully my gf doesn't read this forum.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by stevera004
TooCold,

I agree. I like to talk less, but the women just didn't have very much to say.

What's preferrable, silence or forcing the conversation along? (This isn't a rhetorical question, I don't know). Honestly, I find that silence; especially around people/women I don't yet know, is uncomfortable. I also think that sub-conciously I feel that I have a need to perform (probably due to a insecurity complex).

Best,

silence is actually better, i think. if you've been gabbing for a while, just clam up, even if it's for a full 30 seconds. if for anything, to see how she deals with it.

yes, the need to perform is the problem. you have found it!

just lead them along in the convo, because the guy should be doing the leading--at all times! and since women are vastly superior than men at non verbal communication, they will know that you're leading them and they will cream their panties in delight

but it's hard to tell sometimes if they're shy, or boring, or dumb, or just not interested in you and therefore subtley tellling you such by not talking. if they're actually shy, then that's okay, you just have to crack the nut. still, what usually comes out of my mouth is,

"yes, i see your point"
"indeed"
"suppose..."
"therefore?"
"so, what you're saying is..."
"what do you think about this..."
"i had a similar experience"
"what if..."

etc...

the result is that i'm leading the convo, but talking very little (a conductor). so, the 80/20 suggestion (80 for her) is just the number of words that are spoken. your words are short and quick. let her be the blabber mouth chatter box gossip monger that all chicks naturally ARE.

study Leno or Letterman or Larry King (a master). you'll see.

your pressure to perform problem has a very, very, easy solution. you're making dating a chore. it should be FUN. if you can't have fun with a chick, on a "fun" date, NEXT her fast, because the rest will be downhill. therefore...

go on action oriented dates, where you are having fun, fun, fun. 1) this will cure your need to perform, 2) you are having fun with her, which is what the first dates should be, 3) if she doesn't work out, at least YOU had fun and don't fall into the trap of "that was a waste of time".

i take chicks to Chuck E Cheese. i'm SERIOUS! play all the games, eat pizza, harass the kids, drink beer, wear funny hats, make bets on who's gonna win the most tickets. never had a bad date at Chuck E Cheese, "where it's good to be a kid!". plus, you score major points for being unique AND fun.

if you have one of those Malibu Gran Prix's near you, better still. miniature indy cars; bumper boats; miniature golf; batting cages (get her azz in THERE, because that's kino time when you show her how to stand and swing!); trampolines (so you can see her t!ts bounce).

i feel sorry for chicks sometimes because 90% of their dates are BORING; dinner and a movie types. if you were a chick, you'd get totally sick and tired of this. and if the date itself is boring, chances are the guy is also B O R I N G! no wonder chicks go out and cheat on their man with another, more 'exciting' man (me)

100% (well almost) of my dates are FUN! no one loses!

lastly, since this was first about online dating. i think the action date is even MORE important if you've met online. it totally takes the pressure off, since it's basically a blind date, and expectations are low.

 

[gentleman193]

stay away from the internet

you pulled a cross-eyed chick and a gold-digger. if you don't believe me about the 8.5 you never played real russian roullete. neither did I. I played Romanian roulette. It's just as bad. These girls are master DJ's, and if they only crush your game in the end you will be lucky. Stay far far away. It's summer anyway, why not meet women outside?

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
silence is actually better, i think. if you've been gabbing for a while, just clam up, even if it's for a full 30 seconds. if for anything, to see how she deals with it.

Alot of us (including myself) feel there is something wrong with silence and therefore we have to fill in the gap. While the date had a 80/20 (guy/girl) talk...I think in this case it was alright - both girls were sort of foreign so they may not be very comfortable talking. Although there won't be a follow-up date, it may be a bit of a challenge to have anything more to talk about.

People don't say much about it but an awkward silence that becomes just silence is a good test - comfort with the person should include 'comfortable silence.'

 

[stevera004]

re. why not meet women outside. On-line dating is a supplement to the 'real-world', and it is becoming an increasingly common one. To each his own thogh.
But back to the Eastern Europena women. I also advise caution with them. They have mad game, and being from generally poor countries, they are practical as hell. You will be thinking of getting into her pants, and she will be thinking of how she can improve her lot in life (eg. my HB8.5 is living with her friend + husband in a small apt. here, you know she is looking to move out. Problem is, she makes min. wage. Something (or someone) has got to give ... ). But, having said all that, these women are my kryptonite. I in fact lived with one (a Ukrainian who came here at 18); it was the best & worst few years of my life. I can't go back though