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Unplugged from the Matrix, but lacking something....

MrJibbles

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
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Canada
A mentor. Where can I find a mentor (in real life, not just the internet) to help me out with attracting women? I feel I can't do this on my own. I need guidance. Reading a bunch of articles on the internet, and then hitting the club solo won't get me far enough.

Having a father figure like David X or Tyler Durden would have helped growing up as a confused, nice little boy, but unfortunately my dad was a timid, introverted beta, completely clueless about what attracts women. His advice was that women are attracted to a "smart, kind, well-groomed gentleman." My mom, being like all mothers, told me to be nice to girls.

I grew up as an only child, so I had no brother to help me out, and all my friends growing up were just as beta as I am. I was unpopular in high school and none of the girls gave us attention.

The closest thing I have to brothers are my two male cousins around my age. One of them has banged a bunch of chicks, but he is totally AFC and got married to his girlfriend because he accidentally banged her up, and is now raising a stepson, born to another father who ditched his wife. My other cousin has been called a "nice guy" by tons of girls and is still a virgin like me.

I look to some of my other cousins; one is a 26 year-old virgin and his dad, my uncle-in-law, was an introverted beta who got into a relationship with my aunt only because she initiated everything and did all the work.

It's seems like a lot of my friends and family growing up were not alpha at all, and to be honest, it sorta rubbed off on me throughout all these years. I can't help but feel genetics turned me into the female-fearing, hyper-sensitive person that I am today, but I'm not going to sit around and blame other people and my circumstances for my failure with the opposite sex. I want to change, but I need help.

My question, especially to the more experienced DJs out there, is how can I go about finding a mentor, somebody to show me the ropes, be heavily influenced by, and give me feedback?
 

LostAndConfused

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2007
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Dude, I totally feel you here.

My dad luckily scored with a perfect woman, not one of these sh1tty types our age that have infested the country, so he really has no clue what the dating game is like anymore. Women have always been flaky, but their behavior has never been this uncontrollable before.

What's even more depressing is how terrible hypergamy has gotten. I don't even want a relationship anymore. It pains me to do this but I'm forcing myself to see women only as sex objects. They want to be seen that way anyways, it seems. And my lay count has increased as I've done so. But it's really sad....

What I recommend is just finding friends who are naturals. But this is harder than it seems, I made friends with alot of athletes thinking that I'd learn a thing or two about how to brush off women but really they were no more natural at it than me.

At this point I've embraced it, and maybe you should too. I used to see myself as an introverted weakling (my circa 2007 posts) but now I've become a lone wolf. Still introverted, but I'm free to slay women without the judgment of friends.

That's also a huge problem with development into becoming a DJ I think you might face. When your notch count gets high, if your friends don't have high counts too you'll see yourself distanced from them with time. Honestly I think its jealousy. They see you with a different cutie every weekend while they have to crawl through the trenches of the modern dating battlefield. Unbeknownst to them, we cads are no happier, in fact we see more of the devilish side of women. I'm lucky enough to have two best friends (one from pre high school years one from college years) with similar notch counts and alpha tendencies.

I just find it really rare that an older guy will see something in an unrelated younger guy and desire to help him out. We're on our own in that regards, and who knows, maybe it's for the better. Maybe we'll be better adjusted for dating world circa-2020 when their generation of lays is a completely different beast than the ones we face/will face.

I'm still seeing things positively even though I am still bummed about never having a role model.
 

MisterD

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2011
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This is gonna sound silly. But it helped me.

I didn't really have anyone to learn from either. So I decided to pick a target that represented who I wanted to be. My target was James Dean. To me he is the icon of cool. Questionable sexual orientation aside, he just had this "it" factor that you can't ignore. There's one scene in Rebel Without a Cause where he's laying down with a girl and she asks "what kind of boy do you think a girl wants?" and he says "a man". There's another part where he kisses her forehead and she says "what did you do that for?" and he responds with "i felt like it".

He was just so awesome, not only in that movie, but any footage you see of him, he's always so cool. I was like **** dude, i want to be THAT.

now, obviously i'm no james dean, but using him as a template really helped me.
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
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I have had the honor of having a two suave playa buddies who took up the role of mentorship. When I was much younger, I looked down at popular guys, viewing them suspiciously as jock asshøles, but I came to realize many are genuinely cool, and now I actually prefer the company of alphas as they generally make for better friends. One buddy was my boss at a library in college, and the other was a co-worker in a restaurant. Restaurants are easy grounds, in fact, to find suave charismatic gamers because staff are selected for high sociability, and it’s a party lifestyle after work.

So, one suggestion is to become regular at a restaurant’s bar, get to know the bartenders and waiters, and develop genuine friendships over time. Restaurants are not made equal, though, so it takes time and patience to find somewhere with the right chemistry of staff.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

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