Unknown Territory Guys...

[Apprentice DJ]

Alright i think i met a girl that is part of the 0.01% that the system doesn't talk about...the system doesn't work on her and challenge makes her feel uncomfortable and lose trust in me...
i think shes the insecure type...

She tells me that i went too strong on her for the first couple of dates(we've been seeing each other for 3 months now) and she tells me that she doesn't like to be pressured and that we should take time apart...basically im in the friends zone and her interest level is into the twenties if not the negatives...

so i leave her her space figuring that it's almost over.

but the thing is she still wants to hang out with me, see me, etc and insists on paying for our next "date", paying her half on dates and everything.... so im ont being used or anything!

what does this mean? can i still woo her back into the lover's zone or am i so incredibly deep into the friends zone that i shouldn't even bother???

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Leave her alone!!!!! She is trinig to control you and the situation. Keep company with a woman that wants you and not one that has rejected you. You are her play doll, when she has nothing else to do!

Quit being a chump and be a man!!!

Get the heck out of there!!!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

So do i tell her i demand more of her and if she's not willing i leave or should i just leave?

 

[Reto]

I realized something a while back...

My ex dumped me and wanted to be friends. So, we were "friends". What dawned on me was that she wanted to stay friends so that she didn't feel like crap for dumping me. I finally decided and told her we are not friends. We are not enemies. But certainly not friends.

I think your situation is that you have been dumped, and don't really realize it yet. You have been LJBF'd. She's staying friends with you so that she doesn't feel like crap rejecting you.

A person who has been dumped has trouble being friends with the Ex because it's always in the back of that person's mind that they might get back together. AS long as that thought is there, you'll never move on. Or at least not as fast as you would other wise.

I would move on. Why waste time on something that will never materialize? I've wasted so much time hoping things would work out with ex's. It never has. Cut your loss. Move on...

 

[bigfatjuanita]

i'd have to disagree with the other guys. i'd say stay with her, as a friend. if she's kinda fun to hang out with and she wants to hang out, that gives you something to do. you guys can always go do fun stuff and it's always nice to have a chick friend especially if you hook up with another girl. once you get another girl you can ocasionally tell your new girl that your going to go hang out with this friend of yours which will make her extremely jealous. i was in a situation once and it worked wonders on my new girl.

as for going back out with her i'd say you are screwed for now. if she realises that you really mean you only wanna be friends maybe she'll start liking you again! besides, she's paying for your meals and stuff right? free food buddy!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

so what you guys are telling me is that im Fvcked either way?

i've been around enough girls to which i know everything the system says applies to them but i know this one well enough to know that the System is actually opposing everything she is...

i know i sound like a bad case of AFC but i actually think this one means she needs time...

more comments on this plz...

 

[Bobcdn]

If you are sure you want to give it another shot- first make sure you are ready to walk away.

Now with that in mind there are a few options.

Casually talk to one of her friends and say that " too bad she let her insecurities get the best of her, she won't find another guy like me and she is close to loosing me for good if she can't get her head straight- soon!"

Use the friend date to your advantage. Tell her she gets to pay this time. While out with her devote most of your attention to the other girls in the place and even go as far as approaching other girls in front of her.

You need to work her insecurities to your advantage. And in the end if you still don't get results- WALK AWAY!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

THanks dude but i dont know any of her friends...sh*t!

oh and by the way...just to put you guys into context, she said something that bothered me (Let's take this slow: meaning 5 months before we actually kiss!) so i kinda pissed her off saying that it wasn't the type of relationship(a little bit earlier than that for a kiss plz) i wanted with a girl and that's why she's insecure and all that...hope it helps you guys better understand....

 

[Apprentice DJ]

THanks dude but i dont know any of her friends...sh*t!

oh and by the way...just to put you guys into context, she said something that bothered me (Let's take this slow: meaning 5 months before we actually kiss!) so i kinda pissed her off saying that it wasn't the type of relationship(a little bit earlier than that for a kiss plz) i wanted with a girl and that's why she's insecure and all that...hope it helps you guys better understand....

but how can flirting with other girls improve her sinsecurity? she's not the type that reacts to the system...

 

[Bobcdn]

"but how can flirting with other girls improve her sinsecurity? she's not the type that reacts to the system..."

But she did react to the system- just not the way you expected! If she didn't react you wouldn't have any chance with her at all.

By flirting with other girls (exspecially after she has told you that challenge affects her on an emotional level) you will be letting her see that she is letting you slip through her fingers and that she is about to loose a good thing!

You are not trying to improve her insecurities- only she can do that. You are trying to capitalize on them!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

Thanks for the advice but there's something you don't understand

she is seriously an insecure type: normal girls would react positively by wanting me more if i were to flirt with other girls cus that would increase my challenge towards them

but if i'd do that in front of her when im with her, she'd think that i was a player and would not want anything with me cus i might cheat on her or not be loyal to her...indeed a nutcase... or an actual good girl....

 

[Bobcdn]

she is seriously an insecure type: normal girls would react positively by wanting me more if i were to flirt with other girls cus that would increase my challenge towards them

but if i'd do that in front of her when im with her, she'd think that i was a player and would not want anything with me cus i might cheat on her or not be loyal to her...indeed a nutcase... or an actual good girl.... [/B][/QUOTE]

I see your point about her thinking of you as a player. Sounds like you might have her figured out already... a nutcase... Now you have to ask yourself if you want to spend all your time working for her trust (trust that she will never have for you) and submitting to her interigations to satisfy her insecurities. I have been there. The lack of trust and insecurities NEVER end!

Sounds like you should walk on this one...

 

[Apprentice DJ]

I knew her ex, not in the sense that he was my friend or anything
just the fact of how she was with him and everything...he took time to gain her trust and she eventually held on to him blindly and with crazy love...but the thing is he broke up with her

and that's why im eating all the ****...

the good thing is if i gain her trust, she's mine basically til eternity, but the downside is the time required....This is nowhere in the System nor the DJ bible so ...HELP!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

ok Apprentice,

Since you put her in the 'good girl' category then I will change my perspective. I take it she is a virgin and has the mindset of one that wishes to remain pure.

Parts of the DJ bible apply but not the 'seduction I want to get laid now' part.

She sees as you being aggressive because you are applying the wrong DJ techniques on her and you are probably over eager in your efforts and desire. Take it slow and be gentlemanly but not supplicating to her demands.

Some girls want to know a man before they trust him in other more delicate matters. She doesn't want to be used for sex and then thrown away as most girls are. How long this takes for her to be romantic with you depends on how much time it takes her to trust you. In my opinon five months for a kiiss is way too long so I took this as a sign of disinterest. It also depends how long you are willing to wait. You did say her interest level was low, did u not?

Do not become friends with her!!! Only pursue her romantically and make sure that she knows this and that you are not giving her this attention to just become friends!! Men don't pursue women for friendship!!

 

[Apprentice DJ]

Yup i think she's more of the pure type...

her interest was high in me before i pressed her too much....
i was kidding when i said 5 months...but we've been seeing each other for 2 months now and still no kiss...

how should i make it clear to her though that im going to pursue her romantically without pushing her too hard?

how should i push her to the edge without making it seem that way? cus otherwise she'll back off if the time is not right...ill give her a couple of more months to change her ways (cus we don't see each other that much)

 

[Apprentice DJ]

and just to show you guys that the system doesn't work that well on her...

remember the let's just be friends tip in the tips section? i tried using that in an email that i wrote her and it completely backfired...i mean she was almost crying cus she couldn't believe how much a jerk i was and how i didn't understand her needs...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Apprentice DJ
how should i make it clear to her though that im going to pursue her romantically without pushing her too hard?

Don't talk to her on the phone!! Only to plan activities.

Do not call her more than she calls you..if she says "why haven't you called" say, "I'm taking it slow as you requested.

Don't talk to her as a friend.

Have an uncaring yet gentle attitude when you are with her and she'll get the hint that you are not too anxious.

Everytime you see her go for a kiss - a gentle one. If she shuns you then leave right after that moment and say goodnight. It is not normal for an interested girl to not show any romantic emotions - in this 21st century.

Since you been together a few months, I would reject har when she asks you to do something and see what her reaction is...tell her you had something planned with a friend to go to the library to study and then you two are going to shoot pennies against the wall to see who can get closest to it. She'll get the hint that you are moving on without her and she has to come with you.

You have to lead and not her- make this known.

You must be willing to leave the relationship if she doesnt want to touch or kiss you!! This is not normal.

 

[Apprentice DJ]

at the end of our dates, she always initiates the kiss and they're those two pecks on the cheeks that europeans make...

i know this is not how its suppose to be but how can i change that into a gentle kiss on the lips?

 

[Apprentice DJ]

she just talked to me and sounded Really Really COld...help me out here guys

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Come on dude - a girl acts cold and now sounds cold - what does this tell you? You are having oneitis - pursue woman with a higher response level. When a woman acts cold you should act colder - when a woman sounds cold you should sound colder!! Don't supplicate which is what she wants. Only you can determine for sure what is going on here. If you can't then we sure can't!