Ultra-sensitive women

[Rez]

Hey guys, this has been on my mind for quite some time now.

For those of you who have experience in the relationship realm, what has been your experience with ultra-sensitive women?

Now, just to clarify, I'm not talking about women who are really sensitive when it comes to their sexual nature. I'm actually talking about women who are really sensitive when it comes to their emotional nature.

In specific, I'm referring to the type of woman you almost inevitably feel as if you're walking on eggshells whenever the two of you interact. As if you're closely monitoring your every move & word just to make sure you don't do or say something that will cause her to get very negative & emotional. Has this type of female personality ever worked out for you when involved in a relationship?

Perfect example: I'm currently dating a very amazing woman. However, despite all the amazing things and all the amazing moments we've shared together, if I even as much as say something in a tone she doesn't like...she'll then all of a sudden take it very personally, close herself off to me, and make it feel as if we're starting from square 1 all over again. This gets old really fast as I'm sure you can imagine.

Here's what I'm wondering:

1) How have you turned it around so that continuing a relationship with this type of woman becomes enjoyable for both parties?

2) If things haven't worked in the past, why do you believe they didn't work? What were the tell-tale signs?

Thanks for your expertise in advance and I look forward to your advice.

 

[Jitterbug]

Women who like me in any kind of way (platonic, sexual, relationship etc.) cannot be ultra sensitive. I'm pretty irreverent and will make sure I make plenty of noise & mess as I jump on those egg shells.

Why the hell would you want to be in a relationship with a woman whom you have to watch your words around? Don't be that desperate.

 

[Rez]

Why the hell would you want to be in a relationship with a woman whom you have to watch your words around? Don't be that desperate.

You just reminded me of something I forgot to mention earlier. Every now and then she'll blame me for something that she herself has also done in the past. It can be the exact same 100% identical issue but when I do it, now all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.

Here's where it gets fun: Let's say I bring this flaw in her rational to her attention (i.e. blaming me for the exact same thing she has done before), she'll turn around and say something like "You just like to pick apart at me don't you? Sometimes I just get the feeling that you don't really like me. I'm sorry but this is just the way I am."

And despite all the heart-felt, truly memorable things I've done for her she still finds the energy to somehow tell me I don't like her. Is this the definition of insanity? What to do from here or better yet, how would you counter if a girl were to say this exact phrase to you?

 

[AMDG]

she'll blame me for something that she herself has also done in the past.

Why are you tolerating that ? Don't tell me - lack of options :yawn:

how would you counter if a girl were to say this exact phrase to you?

Just walk away and see how she reacts. My guess - she will try to get you for a little while at least, until she leaves you or reverts to the same mind games.

 

[Nino-Tk]

I would like to know the answer to that coz im also dating a very shy chique at the moment

 

[Acq]

most "ultra sensitive" women are borderliners who change their mind so frequently that they can drive u insane. Careful if you guys get mixed signals from your sensitive dates.
Other signs of BPD:

- usually high attractiveness
- usually high sensitivity/femininity
- very passionate sex
- sudden changes of mind, she may tell u she loves u and the next day she breaks the relationship
and much more


guys, if you discover ur gf has BPD = run like hell.

 

[Serg897]

My ex girlfriend was like this (easily offended, sensitive, had to watch my words at times, prone to sadness and bad moods), and I am currently grappling with this question.

She broke up with me because I allegedly was not "supportive enough", etc

Was I at fault here? Or did she have a legitimate gripe?

 

[Acq]

She broke up with me because I allegedly was not "supportive enough", etc

thats one of the usual reasons BPD's give u when they leave u, the thing is, u cant be supportive enough with them, ever, the problem is them, not u.

BPD is usually developed in guys/girls who are more sensitive than the "norm", such people usually have troublesome childhood when they are mistreated by their parents/peers etc, they are easily offended cuz they perceive things differently due to their sensitivity.

BORDER - LINE means that the mind of the patient is constantly on the border of a psychosis and neurosis.

The problem with borderline girls is that they usually take u by their femininity, sensitivity, bright minds, and for some reasons most of them have killer looks. The first stage of the relationship with a BPD is usually spotless, the problems start later..

 

[sodbuster]

I wonder if we as men don't train them as little girls-giving them too much attention and putting up with their stuff because they are cute. IF all men and boys had the balls to straighten them out right away-they wouldn't be this way. But, they can easily find another chump to date who puts up with stuff that drives him crazy;so it must be us-not her problem.

 

[Warrior74]

You should never be with anyone you have to walk on eggshells to be with. You aren't being yourself. You are suppressing who you are for someone elses happiness. You are saying her needs and your desire for pvssy is more valuable than your need to be a complete expressive human being.

I have a friend who is married to a chick that he has to constantly coddle. She is depressed, bipolar and takes everything the wrong way and blames him for everything. Why does he put up with it? Because he "loves her". He can't even work on freelance work because she gets jealous of him being 'on the computer'. She's slowly choking the life out of him but he can't see it. He thinks that's what a married man does. Support his wife and all of her problems.

Honestly I think she was his first real relationship at nearly 30 years old and he was so happy to have someone he married her.

 

[Rez]

You should never be with anyone you have to walk on eggshells to be with. You aren't being yourself. You are suppressing who you are for someone elses happiness. You are saying her needs and your desire for pvssy is more valuable than your need to be a complete expressive human being.

You are so right. Thank you.

I completely understand the message here and can totally relate with the wisdom. I'm gonna take a bird's-eye-view on the situation and see where it goes from here.

Thanks for all the great advice you guys : )

 

[starplayer]

This has sh!t testing written all over it

 

[catman]

This has sh!t testing written all over it

OH the bpds love to **** test you but most sane women **** test you on one thing and move on to the next test.Bpds keep testing you on the exact same thing over and over again till you finally walk away from them (hopefully)? As far as them grilling you over the exact same things they have did or are doing to you This argument will get you nowhere cause is rational thinking and i have yet to meet a women NORMAL OR BPD thats capeable of understanding this!!!

 

[Blue Phoenix]

most "ultra sensitive" women are borderliners who change their mind so frequently that they can drive u insane. Careful if you guys get mixed signals from your sensitive dates.
Other signs of BPD:

- usually high attractiveness
- usually high sensitivity/femininity
- very passionate sex
- sudden changes of mind, she may tell u she loves u and the next day she breaks the relationship
and much more

guys, if you discover ur gf has BPD = run like hell.

I was just waiting for this reply. This is true. If you feel like you´re walking on eggshells, something is wrong. You always feel tense around her and scared. Yet the more you try to please her the nastier she may become. They have no emotional skin, it´s exposed so they either fall madly in love or hate you as if you were the devil yourself.

*Book>> http://www.amazon.com/That-*****-Pr...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264473347&sr=8-1

You aren't being yourself. You are suppressing who you are for someone elses happiness. You are saying her needs and your desire for pvssy is more valuable than your need to be a complete expressive human being.

That´s why the only ones who can handle them are NPDs/Sociopaths. A normal person would be driven insane with the mood swings and would lose himself tryin to tame the beast. NPDs have a very "strong" sense of self (strong frame = bad boys) and don´t take sh!t from anyone, so the BPD´s mood swings backfires at herself most of the time.

 

[Acq]

That´s why the only ones who can handle them are NPDs/Sociopaths. A normal person would be driven insane with the mood swings and would lose himself tryin to tame the beast. NPDs have a very "strong" sense of self (strong frame = bad boys) and don´t take sh!t from anyone, so the BPD´s mood swings backfires at herself most of the time.

I'm very narcissistic, and happened to have a oneitis who appeared to be BPD, the game was insane, things we did to each other were nuts, she WON eventually. She managed to destroy my HUGE ego and practically my life so much, that I was forced to search for treatment for my NPD and it got cured. So in a way I got lucky

"normal" guys should run from borderline girls, cuz its just nuts

 

[Rez]

I've been doing some thinking and would like to share my thoughts. There have been several references to BPD in this thread and I'll be addressing those first.

My girl doesn't have BPD. But for those of you who have experienced women like this, thank you very much for detailing your relationships as I have learned an immense amount of knowledge from your posts.

We all have different thresholds of pain...so who's to say we all can't have different thresholds of emotional sensitivity? I'm the type of personality who enjoys problem solving. And just because someone has a harder shell to crack, it doesn't mean they're not worth it.

I won't adopt the position of constantly trying to psycho-analyze everything but if there's a continual pattern in a specific set of girlfriend related actions, then I enjoy the hunt of finding out why.

The complexity of female emotions is what draws me to them. Yes, I also know when to draw the line as well. Looking back in life, I've realized that the lessons which came easily were soon disregarded. I prefer to work for what I have, not just hope that everything (or everyone) will be easy.

I'm gonna adopt a new frame here and I'll call it "The who-gives-a-f*ck mentality." If she thinks I don't appreciate her for who she truly is, then she's gonna be in for one really big surprise when she soon realizes how I truly am. If she can hang, great. If not, then who gives a f*ck.

Thanks for all your advice guys, I truly appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom. I'll keep ya posted.