Ugh! About to get LJBFed or completely blown off again

[Nexus Polaris]

I know I shouldn't care, but it just pisses me off because it means I'm still doing things wrong. I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't go in for the kill when I had the chance. Twice.

Of the four or so girls I'm talking to, there was one that was my favorite. The first time we went out a month ago, we had a great time. She was throwing all these IOI's at me at the end of the night, and I didn't kiss her.

After a month, she finally went out with me again, and again we had a good time. She even had me walk her to her car. Again, I balked. Goodnight hug with no kiss.

Earlier that night, she had told me I should hit up the Renaissance Festival with her that weekend, but when I messaged her Friday night to try to set something up for Saturday, she blew me off and said she was already going with somebody else but "perhaps some other weekend." In other words, "You blew it, dïckface. I need a real man."

Fortunately, I avoided true AFCness by calling up another of the girls I'm talking to and spending the night with her Friday night which worked at clearing my head at least for the night.


But I got indirect confirmation tonight that I've definitely slipped down chick A's priority list and she's much more into somebody else. I know you guys are just going to tell me to forget about her and keep moving. Which is probably what I'll end up doing. But it just sucks to lose your favorite.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to vent.


Is the non pulling of the trigger the only thing I messed up here, or is there something else I'm not seeing? I just want to know for future reference.

 

[yowhatsup]

1 month between the first and the second date seems like an awful lot to me, that could've been a problem as well.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Don't worry about it man. We all live and learn. You just have to take a risk and PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!!! Lets say you have another chance to kiss a girl at the end of the night and you get nervous and scared. Think about it this way: if she rejects you trying to kiss her. You won't see her again and nobody you know will know about it. You will build your confidence and knowledge through trial and error. One day you will look back at this and laugh.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

The month in between wasn't as bad as it sounds. It was a matter of both of us getting our schedules in synch. I was busy, too. Plus we went out once two years ago and had a great time, and I never called her again until this year. So I figured she was testing me to see how interested I was. Whether I'd blow her off again.



Thank you, IAFYB. I think next time through with whoever, I'm just going to force myself to go for it the first night. I've got a friend who can meet girls at the bar after the lights are on and within 5 minutes get himself invited back to their place and up in them. I don't really want to be that hardcore, but I definitely have to stop "waiting until next time" to go in for the k-close.

 

[window]

Sounds like it took a bit of work to get her out again (one month later). She probably said to herself, if he doesn't step up to the plate this time he's out (so much for romance !).

Once you pass the window of opportunity they start to play games like your girl did. I think it's pretty hard from then on in. The best you can do now is show class (unlike her) in the face of defeat.

Ya gotta get physical.

 

[Fuglydude]

At the risk of sounding clueless...I don't see the problem of LJBF. I'm still pretty good friends with the majority of girls i've fooled around with in the last little bit prior to meeting my gf. Even with my gf, we were really good friends for like 4-6 months before we became exclusive...and yes we did fool around. Today we have an amazing relationship, which among other things, I attribute to being friends first. She even says that she didn't realise how much better things go when you do the "friends first" thing.

In my experience there is pretty much always the possibility of sex when you're in the friends zone...Therefore, I don't see guys hate it so much. Think about it, a girl who's your friend is obviously comfortable around you...so gettin things goin physically is easier.

 

[Answers]

At the risk of sounding clueless...I don't see the problem of LJBF. I'm still pretty good friends with the majority of girls i've fooled around with in the last little bit prior to meeting my gf. Even with my gf, we were really good friends for like 4-6 months before we became exclusive...and yes we did fool around. Today we have an amazing relationship, which among other things, I attribute to being friends first. She even says that she didn't realise how much better things go when you do the "friends first" thing.

In my experience there is pretty much always the possibility of sex when you're in the friends zone...Therefore, I don't see guys hate it so much. Think about it, a girl who's your friend is obviously comfortable around you...so gettin things goin physically is easier.

I agree. Its not always a bad thing to be friends first and make her attracted to you over time. If things don't work out straight away it gives you a chance to change her mind while being friends.

 

[eminence]

You should of took one of the hottest girls you know to the renaissance festival and bumped into her their.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

^ I thought about that. I'm still friends with some pretty hot girls that this girl doesn't know about. Most of them would be cool with playing the part of my girlfriend just to make an impression.

Speaking of the friends zone, is it bad form to LJBF a girl before she can do it to you if you can sense it coming?