Turning a NO into a YES

[Dash Riprock]

Been chatting with a hot 30 year old blonde online (dating app) and via text for about a week. Text her yesterday saying I'd be close to where she worked so let's get some food, drinks, and have a few laughs at a place I know after work. Initially, she accepts, then goes dark, then comes back saying thanks but she's now exclusive with someone.

See how I was able to turn the tables. BTW, the platonic/business comment was meant to disarm her a bit. I have every intention of turning on the Dash charm which has a very high success rate. Plus, her IL is high enough to meet despite the exclusive crap.

Never take the first no if she's hot and you think you can bed her. And if you fail, who cares. You're a DJ and always employ Abundance and IDGAF.

Good luck.

 

[steelpulse]

I have good success calling a girl on her bluff as well.

This is especially useful in larger cities. In a small town, not so much.

 

[jnMissouri]

Like David D. says, attractive women are hit on all the time, they need a way to weed through the wussies and make sure you really are the ****y funny guy your words make you seem to be. So a lot of women will put up false barriers initially. Not only for this reason, but because they want to make sure you are REALLY interested in HER not just a ONS.

So I've always followed David D's advice on this and teased her and pursued her a bit until she explicitly makes it clear she is not interested. I have had some success with this and I've also fallen on my face with this as I did today with a girl at work. I'm still believe to some extent you have to play ball with them and pursue a little bit, but I'm not sure at what point you go direct and S&D on them. I'm still trying to figure that out.

In the above text example, an alpha may have told her that she should really not commit so soon until she has tried you, etc. The thing is women are so complex, people in general are so complex that what works with one girl doesn't work with another. It seems to be all numbers game.

 

[guru1000]

Dash, some men here state that you shouldn't lie to a girl and to make your intentions known. How do you feel about that?

 

[Dash Riprock]

In the above text example, an alpha may have told her that she should really not commit so soon until she has tried you, etc.

I did say "Tell Mr. Exclusive (him) you got a much better offer from a much better man (me)" which always gets a funny rise out of them. Yes, tacitly it communicates pump the brakes, girl.

 

[jnMissouri]

Dash, some men here state that you shouldn't lie to a girl and to make your intentions known. How do you feel about that?

I'm curious as to how YOU feel about that because your advice on here so far has been the best I've seen. At least so far.

 

[jnMissouri]

I did say "Tell Mr. Exclusive (him) you got a much better offer from a much better man (me)" which always gets a funny rise out of them. Yes, tacitly it communicates pump the brakes, girl.

Good. Although once the woman has a bf, I leave her alone. Heck if I ask a girl out and she says she has a bf I leaver her alone. I don't view it as a hard to get tactic so much as she has a bf or just isn't interested.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Dash, some men here state that you shouldn't lie to a girl and to make your intentions known. How do you feel about that?

I get what you're saying @guru1000.

I think there needs to be a level of platonic chemistry (likability, friendly banter) before you can move into sexual/romantic chemistry, so it's just the natural progression of things. Connection is huge with women and they warm much more slowly than men. Think ovens (them) vs. blowtorches (us).

I mainly wrote that to tacitly ensure her that I'm not going to come across as an overbearing douche and we can just focus on fun and see where it goes. She has a business, so from my perspective, I am genuinely interested in what she does and maybe offering her some advice on how she can build or increase what she's doing.

So the "platonic/business" comments are not an outright lie, but a means to see if there's some chemistry there.

 

[guru1000]

I'm curious as to how YOU feel about that because your advice on here so far has been the best I've seen. At least so far.

If OP stated his intent were sexual, would she have met? Not likely as straight words would be an attack to her ego (she just became exclusive, how can she go out on a date?).

Honesty and seduction are close antonyms ... for a reason.

Seducers are not always honest ... while seducing. They are only honest if the words they choose appeal to her ego. Women are emotionally savvy and understand this concept all too well. And these women will still fvck seducers knowing very well they are sometimes being lied to, simply because the words themselves mean little compared to the speaker of these words. A High value man (to them) is high value regardless of the words he chooses, as long as he doesn't insult her or her ego in the process. The high value buys, the words appeal to her ego so she doesn't go against herself (e.g. She's exclusive and she can't cheat, anti-slut defense, "too soon").

Dash did good. And I'm 100% behind his chosen words as he got the outcome he desired as straight intent here would have failed. Now he goes in there as a "friend," as friends hold hands, they kiss, they "get intimate too every now and then."

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Great points here. Sometimes I get so caught up in moving quickly with women and having a take-it-or-leave-it attitude that I don't consider how something I say may make her feel, especially if I think she's lying about it (like saying she has a boyfriend when she really doesn't). The main points I'm taking away from this are that you can't have the opportunity to seduce if you don't get a F2F audience with her, and given the fact that women will lie about why they can't meet you, I don't see any issue with stretching the truth as to your intentions in why you want to meet her in order to get that F2F audience with her where you can work your magic. And secondly, if she is saying she has a boyfriend, even if you KNOW she's lying, you have to think about how she thinks she is going to look saying "yes" to meet you after telling you she has a boyfriend (even if she obviously knows she is lying). To Guru's point, you are basically insulting her if you still ask her out, by insinuating that she is a sl*t.

A possible example of this from a recent experience of mine with an ex (we dated a little over a year ago): I bumped into her at a couple social events recently and she was giving me tons of IOIs. Went out to dinner and drinks with her and a couple others and she was giving me "the look" constantly. She is extremely feminine and at least likes to give the outward impression that she is a "good-girl" type (I don't believe that she is at all). My next move was to invite her to my place over text. She didn't even respond. That may have been too forward for her and possibly insulted her "good-girl" image. Had I asked her to go out and do something instead, she may have been more likely to say yes and I could have worked my magic to get her back to my place from there. However, in this case, because she is an ex and she broke things off with me, I'm not willing to do the dating song-and-dance with her, so no loss.

 

[Roober]

Great job on playing to her cognitive dissonance. "Oh, he just wants to hang out, theres no harm in that."

The one piece I would add is about giving advice when women say "no". Many men have trouble determining the difference between a firm "no" and a "maybe". I would caution against advising men to keep pushing through a "no" from a woman, especially this day and age...

 

[DumbSS]

That’s really great. Even if she wasn’t playing games (which she totally was, my initial thought is she was using online to make said dude jealous enough to commit, but more obvious answer is she just tested you, confident perseverance is attractive (at least in this type of case)) there’s no reason she couldn’t give the other guy the ‘let me think about it’ before agreeing to be exclusive. And like who even does that? Sets up dates then randomly agrees to commitment? Someone who’s not worth the commitment. That ‘platonic’ bit is very transparent but anything to salvage her sense of integrity right? Lol. get it while it’s hot lmao. Roober is very right tho, don’t push this ‘no means yes’ too hard on the impressionable thirst monsters, that’s rape culture. I get that you wanna boast but there’s a clear difference between ‘chase me’ and ‘f*ck right off’ that many guys play conveniently oblivious to.

 

[Glassguy]

So OP just friend zoned himself or am I missing something?

 

[DumbSS]

So OP just friend zoned himself or am I missing something?

You’re missing out. There’s big subtext. They both know damn well this persuasive ‘flexibility’ is an aphrodisiac. This whole conversation is like... honestly the sh*t looks scripted its so smooth & too good to be true. OP you catfishing game? You got yourself 2 phones there bud? Giving all these wannabe dons false hope? It just sounds unbelievable, ‘friend zone yourself & you’ll get laid’ idk I think game is innate. Can be earned but not really learned, it must be the reward of really getting to like yourself.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You’re missing out. There’s big subtext. They both know damn well this persuasive ‘flexibility’ is an aphrodisiac. This whole conversation is like... honestly the sh*t looks scripted its so smooth & too good to be true. OP you catfishing game? You got yourself 2 phones there bud? Giving all these wannabe dons false hope? It just sounds unbelievable, ‘friend zone yourself & you’ll get laid’ idk I think game is innate. Can be earned but not really learned, it must be the reward of really getting to like yourself.

Pimp it lol. Sounds good.

 

[DumbSS]

Yeah, I’m definitely not buying it anymore. Nobody under 35 writes out ‘to be honest’ when ‘tbh’ exists

 

[sazc]

It's nice to see men who APPLY instead of proselytize without merit

 

[sazc]

So OP just friend zoned himself or am I missing something?

He turned a no into a yes, and is going to try to turn the panties inside out, as they come off

 

[Glassguy]

He turned a no into a yes, and is going to try to turn the panties inside out, as they come off

Why would a guy "negotiate" a chick meeting up and especially selling "just friends" as part of the deal?

 

[sazc]

Why would a guy "negotiate" a chick meeting up and especially selling "just friends" as part of the deal?

S-E-X
Or the possiblity thereof