Trying to figure out the girl.

R1cK

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Okay I need some input from you guys. Okay here is the situation: I been dating this girl for about 8 months nows and like always in the beginning every thing is cool. But lately I have been more restricted in the things that I can do with her. When I tried to kiss her in public she backed away from me. I found that weird and she gave me the reason that she does not like public effection. I cannot even put my arms around her because she moves aways when I put them around her. Yes I know i have let it get this bad because I have not spoken out about it or would this be more like a wussy move. Am I doing something that has made her lose interest in me or should I just move on. At this point I know that I have let my emotion to get the better of me and given her the power. Any tips on how may I turn this around?
 

Lost In the Seas

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she apparently likes control and dominance in relationship and you have just become her pony in her stable collection, she probably has no real interests in you now other than being merely a plaything to have around

you must talk to her about it immediately, 8 months of dating and you can't hug or kiss her in public? that's total BS, there's no way i will take sh!t like that, you have to speak to her now, and if she doesn't change she's history
 

R1cK

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No it was not that she has not let me hug and kiss her in 8 months it that recently like within a month she has let me get that close to her any more. But you are right I know she is in control of the relationship. That is why I need a way to turn things around in my favor. I need some way of making chase after me. I have the confidence going to the gym down but I believe she has become accustume to it and it no longer has the effect that it use to. I am really getting frustrated with this situation and I know if I dont talk with her soon this feeling is only going to grown until it becomes a real problem. SO any more advise on how to change things in my favoer
 

PimpNHard

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yea R1ck - it honestly looks like you're the "pony in the stable". Your girl's behavior is definately a sign of DISinterest and possibly DISrepect - guess what you should do - DISS the b!tch!

A female with a high interest level would eat that kind of treatment up like cookies! She should be the one all over you. Don't get all wussified on her. Don't take that, man. You deserve better and you can get better.

Be cool.:cool:
 

R1cK

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Thanks for the input and you are right that it might be a sign of disrespect from her part. Well I am going to confront her on it. Not to act like a wussy or anything like that but more as a learning experience. I am curious of the female mind and how it works that is the reason I came to this website. All I need to know from her is does she want me as a friend only or keep it how it is but I will not put up with any of this any more. If she does agree to keep it how it is and does the same thing again then I am moving on. I should not be working so hard to get as sometihng small as a kiss. Thanks PimpNhard and Lost in Seas
 

DJDamage

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a) You could have said or done something that lowered or interest level in you. You might need to get back to basics and spend less time with her, get hobbies to get you buzy (work out). Hopefully by remaining a challange, her interest in you will increase.

b) She is seeing someone else and has told him that she is single. Therefore if someone that knows him sees the two of you in public they will assume that you two are "just friends" and would not tell that to the new boyfriend in her life.

Either she is a control b1tch, lost interest or cheating on you. All 3 choices are not good, you better do something about it.
 

becker

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Yeah, my last girl was very NOT into PDA, and she made that clear from when we first started dating. I proceeded to sneak in putting my arm around her in public anyways, and she didn't like it sometimes.

My experience though tells me that it's more likely that she's not super interested in you. Unfortunately, that can be difficult to swallow, but you're going to have to put your ego in check and stop and smell the roses-
 

Lost In Translation

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lets look at the patterns

she moves away from you when you show affection in PUBLIC

not in private

so we isolate that. it's the PUBLIC deal.

why ?

in my EXPERIENCE and you can see this any time some chick likes you and some guy comes up and trys to bust a move on her in front of you

what does she do ?

GET AWAY FROM ME !!! and pushes the guy away

and gets back to giving me dove eyes and trying to get my number

so if a chick doesn't want people to think THAT GUY IS WITH her

she acts like YOUR CHICK

so i give you the 2 scenarios

1. she is ashamed of you

2. she is cheating on you and doesn't want anyone to see her with you / you arms around her

with number 2 if you just walking next to you she can say HE'S JUST A FRIEND and deny that she knows you like that

with your hand on her ass it's hard to deny that something is going on

either way you need to set this b*tch straight cause she is not acting right. a normal b*tch would be all over you.

good luck


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 

R1cK

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Okay DJ Damage I already to go the gym and work out to release stress and have sometthing to do. Everything you guys have said to me does make sense and I am going to keep that in mind when I confront with this issue. I will keep you guys posted to see how this turns out. And if it does turn out that she is seeing some one else on the side that I am not aware of then i will just move on an find someone else that will appreciate my time. I know what I am worth and should not be waisting my time with these little games. :woo:
 

MindOverMatter

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A lot of girls do not like extreme PDA. By extreme I mean kissing, making out, etc in a public setting in front of people (clubs not included). The reason being, when these girls are single and they see another couple making out in front of everyone, it makes them sick. They don't like to do it for that reason.

Very few girls dislike minor PDA (holding her hand, giving her a hug in public, etc). The girls that dislike minor PDA usually dislike it because they just started seeing the guy, and he's handling them like they're his property right away. Note, some girls like this too. It depends on the girl.

However after 8 months of dating, no girl should have a problem with you holding her hand or giving her a hug or putting your arm around her. Either she is ashamed of you, or wants to look single, or both.

Either way, I don't understand why some of you guys would put up with this. Don't even try to talk it out with her, that's pretty much forcing her to hold your hand etc. You shouldn't have to force your girl to take affection from you. There are plenty of girls out there who love a guy that is willing to hold their hand or give them a hug in public. Don't settle for a girl that's ashamed of you, or wants to market herself as single.
 
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Originally posted by Lost In Translation
1. she is ashamed of you

2. she is cheating on you and doesn't want anyone to see her with you / you arms around her

with number 2 if you just walking next to you she can say HE'S JUST A FRIEND and deny that she knows you like that
This is the reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I go with number 2!!!!

I can see her act this way if you've been with her for two weeks but 8 months??? Something smells rotten in /denmark!!!!
 

JPR

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Yeah I'd go with option #2 as well.

Something is preventing her from wanting to publicly show her or allow you to display affection for her. That's not normal unless you are talking like total make out session in view of everyone :D So I'd side with her feeling guilty of something.
 

bud_2005

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In your opinion Rick, could you discuss what led to her being in control? Thanks
 

So pimp its scary

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I would say that she isn't necesarily cheating, but she is very likely thinking about it.

Be thankful tho, you will be done with her before the ring is on her finger.
 

R1cK

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okay let me tell you how I know that she has the control for now. See I let my emotions get the better of me by started acting like a wuss all over again. Not completely but still enough to I guess make a difference. See she is the first girl that I have gone out with that is not afraid to make fun of me and different situation (in a joking way). This makes the times we spend together interesting. She had told me that she likes the fact that I am willing to do almost any thing. I remember one time in a kind of a joking way she tried to get me to admit that she was my queen but I notice this and told her nope she was far from being that. Now that I have put serious thought into this situation I have decided to take this approach. Next time I try to give her a kiss in private and denies me that I am just going to back the HEll up. Stop giving her all that attention she is use to getting from me. Especially when I stop giving her massages because taht is something she loves recieving. Then my next step is going out more with the guys like just to keep my mind busy. I have read this statement before so it goes with this situation "I am going to give her the gift of missing me" Let me know what you guys think
 
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Originally posted by R1cK
Stop giving her all that attention she is use to getting from me. Especially when I stop giving her massages because taht is something she loves recieving.
QUIT GIVING WOMEN MASSAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woman is the "nurturer" - it is her duty to soothe and console the man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All massage threads in the bible shoudl be destroyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP IT NOW AND FOREVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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