Trying to be alpha?

[Gripped]

Surely if I try to be alpha and display dominance than I am not being independent but rather copying the instructions I'm given meaning that by definition I am not leading but following? would it not be more efficient to entirely focus on internal behavior that results in the unconscious expression of Alpha traits?

Forgive me but I do not see the productivity in behaving alpha outwardly

 

[The Gambler]

Surely if I try to be alpha and display dominance than I am not being independent but rather copying the instructions I'm given meaning that by definition I am not leading but following? would it not be more efficient to entirely focus on internal behavior that results in the unconscious expression of Alpha traits?

Forgive me but I do not see the productivity in behaving alpha outwardly

You are correct. Working on yourself mentally, physically and spiritually will give you a natural air of confidence... It will not need to be faked.

I also notice that different people have different opinions on what "Alpha" actually is. Some would say that if you were put in a room with 20 other people, in order to be Alpha you need to be the one that stands up and takes charge. Others might say that Alpha is relative to who YOU are... You may never be a star athlete or a top manager at work, but you have worked to improve YOURSELF over what you were a year ago, a month ago, a week ago. I personally agree more with the second definition.

The Gambler

 

[Gripped]

That's an interesting definition, I have not read that one before.
The only definition of being alpha I have come across previously that actually made sense and seemed more plausible than simply the man in charge is-
A man who is completely in control of himself without exception.

 

[Huffman]

You are in part correct; you don't need to do all that "alpha" stuff, or become a copy of someone else.

But remember how humans learn? We imitate other people and learn. So why not try to be "alpha" for a while and see how it pans out. You will then notice that you like some things about it (like confidence or being bold) while you don't like some things (trying to dominate all the time).

Congratulations, you just found out a little about yourself. You don't need to BE other people, but you can learn from them, and take what you need.

 

[AlexLefty]

Yes.

An Alpha in its truest sense is someone that is true to himself.

There can be fake Alphas, but those are easily seen by the true Alphas as what they are because they are still dependent on the reactions of others.

A genuine Alpha is himself genuine, and is most of all not needy, unlike Fake Alphas who are extremely needy.

I'm assuming you're referencing my previous post, which is merely a deductive approach as to WHY people are perceived as Alpha.

^In response to your post above...

I've concluded that a true Alpha is one who has achieved Self-Mastery. This applies to any culture, religion, or race, but can be divided into the three main attributes that make it: Awareness, Work Ethic, and Organization. You can read about it here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196387

 

[LearningSlowly]

You're ready to learn, which puts you far beyond many other newcomers. Now that you know what an alpha is (I suspect you already did) why not put yourself to work on becoming one? You working out yet? Talking to lots of girls yet?

(I'd like to add that the most obvious alpha trait, one that you can immediately absorb to yourself is the ability to make decisions. Make decisions FOR the group quickly, and guide others to them. Make sure your choices lead toward fun, spontaneous experiences, not away from them.)

 

[Gripped]

You're ready to learn, which puts you far beyond many other newcomers. Now that you know what an alpha is (I suspect you already did) why not put yourself to work on becoming one? You working out yet? Talking to lots of girls yet?

(I'd like to add that the most obvious alpha trait, one that you can immediately absorb to yourself is the ability to make decisions. Make decisions FOR the group quickly, and guide others to them. Make sure your choices lead toward fun, spontaneous experiences, not away from them.)

I am working out yes, I have been for a while but where I am falling down is talking to lots of girls. I go to a unisex school and yes maybe I am making excuses for myself but it makes it harder for me to make small talk with girls.
I have few if not none female friends currently.

and to AlexLefty I very much enjoyed reading your post and what you were describing about just simply being without awareness and then the almost immediate realization rang true with myself also. I would look forward to anymore posts in that thread.

 

[AlexLefty]

I am working out yes, I have been for a while but where I am falling down is talking to lots of girls. I go to a unisex school and yes maybe I am making excuses for myself but it makes it harder for me to make small talk with girls.
I have few if not none female friends currently.

and to AlexLefty I very much enjoyed reading your post and what you were describing about just simply being without awareness and then the almost immediate realization rang true with myself also. I would look forward to anymore posts in that thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196980
Wa La!
WvaLa*?

...whatever.

These pieces are far from perfect specimens in grammar and the like though (including the literary devices), and have been revised and will be re-posted someday to add more clarity and meaning. so don't judge :nervous:

 

[Quiksilver]

Being self-confident and "yourself" (<---Alpha) does not necessarily mean you're going to get laid frequently.

For instance, next week I'm heading up into the mountains for a few days to go fishing, rock climbing, then coming back down to the beach for a few days of surfing.

That to me sounds like a good time.

Meanwhile, one of my friends is heading out to the bars/clubs 7 nights in a row.

We are both about equal in appearance (6 or 7/10) and game.

Guess who is going to get laid?

He has far more chance of getting laid next week than I do, despite my lifestyle being arguably more "attractive" and "alpha" to women.

Doesn't matter how Alpha you are if you don't put yourself in a position to meet the kind of women you're interested in.

I spent my final year of highschool driving out into industrial parks to play paintball, hitting the gym, surfing every weekend, and pool hopping after getting drunk.

Sounds like fun and interesting and attractive to women right?

Maybe...?

We didn't give a fvck about getting laid, just having a good time and doing interesting stuff. Thats what all the PUA material says to do. Don't give a crap about it, just live an interesting life, have a good time and women will be drawn to you like a fvcking magnet.

And guess what...?

We rarely got laid compared to some groups of "interesting" guys who just spent all week(end) going to bars and clubs, standing around in circles jibbering like monkeys to eachother about facebook, movies and titties.

Being truly Aloof and "Alpha" will not get you laid.

You still have to make an effort to meet women, whether its cold approaches, or situational/context approaches.

--

edit:

the only plus in regards to getting laid due to being an interesting person with a fun lifestyle, is that you become a 'thief'. Guys cant leave their girlfriends near you, because after hanging out for a short time the girl realizes how boring and beta her boyfriend really is. Next thing you know we're texting each other and arranging to "fool around" in the back of my car or at her place while her housemates/parents are away.

--

I guess in short, by really being a fun person who does exciting and adventurous/dangerous things, you end up with an Ace card up your sleeve. But you don't win the hand if you never play it, and by doing fun stuff you never have time to play it.

You'll have your pick of great women, but only when/if you make time to meet them, which in my life is rare.

I guess quality > quantity, but IMO a guy in his late teens--twenties, needs quantity as well.

So don't be too interesting, or do too much fun/exciting stuff, or live too adventurous a lifestyle, or else you'll never meet any women.

 

[Gripped]

Being self-confident and "yourself" (<---Alpha) does not necessarily mean you're going to get laid frequently.

For instance, next week I'm heading up into the mountains for a few days to go fishing, rock climbing, then coming back down to the beach for a few days of surfing.

That to me sounds like a good time.

Meanwhile, one of my friends is heading out to the bars/clubs 7 nights in a row.

We are both about equal in appearance (6 or 7/10) and game.

Guess who is going to get laid?

He has far more chance of getting laid next week than I do, despite my lifestyle being arguably more "attractive" and "alpha" to women.

Doesn't matter how Alpha you are if you don't put yourself in a position to meet the kind of women you're interested in.

I spent my final year of highschool driving out into industrial parks to play paintball, hitting the gym, surfing every weekend, and pool hopping after getting drunk.

Sounds like fun and interesting and attractive to women right?

Maybe...?

We didn't give a fvck about getting laid, just having a good time and doing interesting stuff. Thats what all the PUA material says to do. Don't give a crap about it, just live an interesting life, have a good time and women will be drawn to you like a fvcking magnet.

And guess what...?

We rarely got laid compared to some groups of "interesting" guys who just spent all week(end) going to bars and clubs, standing around in circles jibbering like monkeys to eachother about facebook, movies and titties.

Being truly Aloof and "Alpha" will not get you laid.

You still have to make an effort to meet women, whether its cold approaches, or situational/context approaches.

--

edit:

the only plus in regards to getting laid due to being an interesting person with a fun lifestyle, is that you become a 'thief'. Guys cant leave their girlfriends near you, because after hanging out for a short time the girl realizes how boring and beta her boyfriend really is. Next thing you know we're texting each other and arranging to "fool around" in the back of my car or at her place while her housemates/parents are away.

--

I guess in short, by really being a fun person who does exciting and adventurous/dangerous things, you end up with an Ace card up your sleeve. But you don't win the hand if you never play it, and by doing fun stuff you never have time to play it.

You'll have your pick of great women, but only when/if you make time to meet them, which in my life is rare.

I guess quality > quantity, but IMO a guy in his late teens--twenties, needs quantity as well.

So don't be too interesting, or do too much fun/exciting stuff, or live too adventurous a lifestyle, or else you'll never meet any women.

I'm aware it may sound like an obvious question but

how would one begin building an adventurous lifestyle?

 

[AlexLefty]

I'm aware it may sound like an obvious question but

how would one begin building an adventurous lifestyle?

PM me