Trying but failing to get out of relationship

[mrcloudsurfer]

Hi Guys, I've posted a few times before about this girl and our relationship. I will give you some background real quick. She is a stunningly gorgeous and very sweet girl who I was in a relationship for 10 months (then I broke up with her two months ago). The thing is we seem to both be addicted to each other (especially the amazing sex), and it doesn't help that she is my coworker!

I genuinely care about her but it didn't take long for me to realize she is not someone I could see being in a serious relationship with. She was honest enough to tell me that she has slept with many men (30+, and I get the feeling that even that number is very conservative but she's not willing to say the real number). She was also honest enough to tell me that she cheated regularly with every boyfriend before me (She's had about five 1 to 2 year relationships). This was the main reason I broke up with her, as I just couldn't seem to bring myself to trust her. She says that she has never truly been in love with anyone until she met me, and that it would gross her out to even imagine having sex with anyone else but me. I'm not trying to feed my ego here, but just trying to give an accurate picture for you guys.. this girl seems to be head over heels in love with me, but we both have been paranoid that the other person could cheat on the other (I personally have never cheated on a girlfriend before).

So here is where I will get to my question... at this point we've been broken up for 2 months, but for all intents and purposes, nothing has changed. The sex is absolutely incredible, and we both agree that neither of us have had better sex. We get along very well when we are together in person (although it's mainly about sex, even though we do other fun stuff too). I'm trying very hard to move on so I can find a woman to date that I could actually settle down with (I'm in my 30's now, but easily pass for early 20's.. so I tend to date younger woman), but we enjoy our company so much, and the sex is so incredible that I feel trapped! To make matters worse she is still very much in love with me and is not ok with me seeing anyone else. I love her too but I see very plainly that there is no future for us with regards to a serious relationship. Any ideas as to how I get out of this one? Keep in mind.. here are the challenges.. She is my coworker.. I actually do care about her very much so I treat her with a lot of respect and kindness (in other words I'm not willing to be a jerk to her), we are both addicted to the sex.. it's insanely good and the best that either of us has had.. I'm very set on my conviction that it would never work between us because there is very little trust (we both are always suspicious that the other person might be sleeping with someone else.. it's ridiculous). Thanks for any advice. I know some of you have been in similar situations and I need some perspective badly because I'm feeling confused and stuck in this relationship or whatever you want to call it.

 

[finickywake]

Either keep sleeping with her and pursue other women, or stop sleeping with her and pursue other women.

 

[redbaron5]

I know this term gets thrown around allot on these boards, BPD this, BPD that..

There are a few Red Flags that are setting off my personality disorder alarms in my head in your story. Generally histrionic or borderline women will attempt to attach to you very quickly. They do this by a term we call "mirroring" Do you find that she has almost always admitted to like any music that you like, or claimed to have shared in your hobbies before meeting you?

Borderline Women almost always admit to having many partners, when they say 30, they mean 300. They admit to having allot of failed, short (1-2 year) relationships, sound familiar? Even though they admit to having many partners, they will almost always say, you are the best sex partner ever, blah blah blah, no one makes me feel like you do, blah blah blah. It's all bull**** contrived to play on your EGO and trap you.

When you said, she said "I couldn't imagine having sex with another person" My jaw almost hit the floor, my BPD nightmare said the exact same words. This is while she was out ****ing other guys constantly. You said you don't trust her, this is your gut feeling telling you something is going on, and something IS going on. It really sounds to me like you are interacting with a highly dangerous person who is putting you in the lead role of a play that she has already put on 5 or 6 times (by your own admission) do NOT let your ego trap you, sorry bud, you are NOT that special, she is playing off your EGO in an attempt to trap you for attention/money/self esteem whatever.

If she ever talks bad about most of the EX"s, run for the ****ing hills.

 

[Kailex]

Have you updated your resume lately?