Trust your instincts

[Dirtheart]

Do you ever get a sense that a girl finds you attractive without even picking up particular signals? It's like when you look at her and you can instinctively detect some internal reaction inside her without actually seeing it? Or you suddenly detect a change of mood.

In all the instances I'm aware of, it has been right and I was speaking to some friends recently too, trying to explain what I mean and they agree that they have never been wrong about it either.

Attraction is instinctive, so why not learn to trust it?

 

[FratAndDiddy]

i agree about the "attraction" part dirtheart, but in my opinion my luck has just been "lust."
lust is ok for me at the moment but in my experiences it has never worked out in the LTR .
just me though, maybe some other bros out there have had it work for them in a marriage or something.

 

[Austin Allegro]

I'm not sure about this instinct thing. It sounds a bit too feminine to me. I think men should stick to rational, empirical evidence - eg, how does the woman manifest this attraction?

I have met several women who I 'instinctively' thought were interested, who turned out to blow me off - I think you just can't tell until she actually SHOWS you she is attracted to you.

If you are attracted to someone I think you should just 'assume the sale' until you get blown out.

 

[SDBmania]

Well, my intuition has been wrong every time! Every time I think a girl is into me, turns out she's not. I have been doing some fine tuning, but so far it's hard to tell if there has been an improvement.

 

[mahon83050]

Well, I am not sure what you mean "without any signals". There have been times when I first met a chick I thought they were into me by the way they looked at me (there gaze and their eyes sort of lit up the first time we met). I ended up being right, because I hooked up with them by the end of the night.

However, other times it is hard to tell. One time I was at my cousins for Christmas. Her cute friend stopped by and did not even look at me and was kind of cold. I thought the girl was a biatch or found me unattractive. Turned out, the girl thought I was hot.

The conclusion is, when I thought a girl liked me or my instincts thought she did.....I am usually 90% right by going with my gut. Of course, the only way to know for sure is to ask her out or make a move.

 

[Ebach]

Instinct and intuition are part of human nature. Use it. Men are not as rational as you'd think we are but we are a little more so than women.

Interpersonal skills is all about feeling, intuition, and instinct. Without these qualities it's hard to understand where people are coming from and build rapport with them. True, some people do it but it gets boring very fast and conversations are usually extremely dry.

In any case... use what you have and stop analyzing.

 

[Titus]

And not only attraction. Lots of other things too.

 

[Dirtheart]

I guess it doesn't work for everybody then. But as Ebach said, I think it's important not to analyze things too rationally, because neither women nor attraction are particularly rational.

I've recently finished dating an Italian girl (as she returned to Italy). I hadn't spoken to her, hadn't even got close enough to detect any positive body language, but there was just a "feeling" I got from her first glance that told me she was interested. It was the first time I put that much trust in it, but it was right long before I made my approach.

But I do agree with FratAndDiddy that it's more lust than anything else because that's usually the initial and primal element of attraction, while feelings of love and security develop later.

 

[AMF]

Its counter-intuitive.

If a girl likes you, she will often try and hide it. This includes flat out coldness and indifference.

 

[2xp]

dirtheart, it's impossible (for me, at least for me) to know if a chick is attracted to you, if she does not give you any signal. you are making ideas inside your head.

however, if a girl likes you or is interested in you, there WILL be a signal. if you know the game right and if you are experienced enough. there are many of them : she looks as if she is unconfortable, she avoids eye contact, she looks into your direction then when you look at her, she pretends to gaze at something else. if you are in a room together, she pretends to be busy but then it always happens that her head/body is oriented towards you and she talks to her friend but instead of looking at her, it's as if she wanted to talk to you. I'd say the eye contact is the best way to know it. You always know when a girl looks into yours.

If a girl likes you, she will often try and hide it. This includes flat out coldness and indifference.

that's BS. you will see she is trying, or maybe you two are making mind games, or you are with another chick, and the case is closed. or you are not experienced enough.

However, other times it is hard to tell. One time I was at my cousins for Christmas. Her cute friend stopped by and did not even look at me and was kind of cold. I thought the girl was a biatch or found me unattractive. Turned out, the girl thought I was hot.

i think at that time she was busy doing something, or she was worried about something. girls are human beings you know, they have their own set of problems. another solution would be that she found out something about you afterwards, like you are dating a hot babe, or you are famous or something valuable. one of your cousins may have told this to her after the Xmas party. and NEVER forget chicks take more time to "warm up" than boys.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
Do you ever get a sense that a girl finds you attractive without even picking up particular signals? It's like when you look at her and you can instinctively detect some internal reaction inside her without actually seeing it? Or you suddenly detect a change of mood.

I think most of you guys are misunderstanding what dirtheart is saying. I think he means it's like the same sort of feeling you get when you are alone and you feel watched [I'm not talking about paranoia], and something really is watching you, but you don't know what or who because you felt it watching you before you physically noticed. You can also sense a change in moods like dirtheart said the same way physiologically.

 

[NatureGuy]

No, I've never gotten that 'sense' without particular signals. And I've never had the sense someone was watching me and determined there really was ! (Although I probably wouldn't care either)

 

[rgeere]

I personally believe that a 6th sense that can detect emotions and when a person stairs at you really exist, though it's hard to prove to people who don't seem to be very aware of it. I studied ninjitsu hiding techniques when I was younger, and one of the techniques they taught you was to never look directly at a person when you were hiding otherwise you would be detected.
Not to sound nutty, I've also personally felt [not perceived, sensed] changes and shifts in people emotions as they were reacting to me. Only in certain circumstances, though.

Link....

http://www.school-forchampions.com/senses/6thexperiments.htm

 

[Dirtheart]

it's like the same sort of feeling you get when you are alone and you feel watched [I'm not talking about paranoia], and something really is watching you

Yes, exactly! It's very difficult to rationalize something like this, but it happens to a lot of people. Or sometimes you can sense when two people dislike each other, or walk into a room and instantly know that something is amiss. And as rgeere said, it's also possible to detect emotional shifts.

I think people disregard esp and precognition because it's tied to the word of the fictitious and supernatural, but there is probably a very logical explanation for it. Perhaps it is down to certain physical signals which some people read automatically on an unconscious level.

 

[2xp]

it's like the same sort of feeling you get when you are alone and you feel watched [I'm not talking about paranoia], and something really is watching you

I started bootcamp yesterday and went to the nearest mall. i was on the first floor and was tired of doing the EC and picking up girls, so i stopped a bit and had a look at a girl who was drinking coffee at a snack bar at the ground floor. so, there i was, studying every part of that curvicious body, even if what i could only see was her back, as she was leaning against the bar. she looked like she she was resting. then, BAAMMM, all of the sudden, she turns her head rapidly, she looks DIRECTLY into my eyes. I backed out, saying WTF how could she know i was staring at her, i was on the first floor, there was no way she could have known i was there, she had no friends or waiter telling her i was there. besides, i was a bit behind a column. BUT anyway, she stared directly into my eyes, like she knew exactly where i was.

now, Dirtheart, yesterday morning, i didn't believe at all about instincts, but now, if that 6th sense you are talking about really exist, i do want to know how to develop that

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by 2xp
now, Dirtheart, yesterday morning, i didn't believe at all about instincts, but now, if that 6th sense you are talking about really exist, i do want to know how to develop that

I'm not sure if it really can be developed, for me it's just some thing that has happened and I have no clue why other than that people have a sense of emotion that isn't entirely understood.

I think the best way to describe it would to say that this is the sense you feel when other senses are absent such as your sight, feel, hearing or any other sense, but that doesn't mean you will not feel the sixth sense when you are hearing, seeing, and touhing. I actually think that's the only time people really start noticing that they have an extra sense when all of their other senses are distracted or not available. It could be there all the time, but highly ignored and overshadowed by the other senses. I don't know.

 

[SDBmania]

rgeere, I agree

I know before that I have said that I can't trust my instincts, but that is not entirely true. It's more my intuition, or my emotional side. After I got self-esteem and confidence, I have been able to ask out girls. After the first time, my emotional side when crazy. That little voice in my head would keep telling me that a girl was interested in me with no evidence. Every time I thought a girl was interested in me, I was wrong, so natually I don't trust that voice much. But, then I think that perhaps it was because I was too AFCish around them. Though that may be the case, a good example was the last girl I asked out. She's been ignoring my calls, so I have decided to give up on her. She seemed interested, but now she seems to be blowing me off. That tells me either my intuition still stinks, or maybe I was not being totally myself(i.e. I would ware nice clothing at school, and one time I made the mistake of saying I just ware these clothes to attract women. Well, I was joking of course and thought I had made that clear). At any rate, I have learned from that and have fixed some of the mistakes I had made and I'm looking forward. But, I don't think I can trust my intuition so much, but would you guys say that your instincts are sepreate from your intuition?

 

[rgeere]

Re: rgeere, I agree

Originally posted by SDBmania
I know before that I have said that I can't trust my instincts, but that is not entirely true. It's more my intuition, or my emotional side. After I got self-esteem and confidence, I have been able to ask out girls. After the first time, my emotional side when crazy. That little voice in my head would keep telling me that a girl was interested in me with no evidence. Every time I thought a girl was interested in me, I was wrong, so natually I don't trust that voice much. But, then I think that perhaps it was because I was too AFCish around them.

I think you are on the right track with your post above, but I must emphasize that that may not have been the sixth sense telling you that a girl seems interested in you; it might actually had been your AFC desires and feelings of lonliness leaping at any chance for attention it could get. If that's the case that's not the sixth sense.

The sixth sense is more like a tingle you start to feel through your body that leads to your mind making a valid conclusion that something is amiss with another person, usually concerning the way that another person is feeling towards you at that very moment. The feelings have to be directed at you somehow otherwise you probably would not feel anything from them.

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1567183603/103-6808313-7047037?v=glance

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Spike_the_cowboy
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1567183603/103-6808313-7047037?v=glance

*shivers* I wouldn't listen to most of that psychic crap, I'm talking about a persons built in ability for perception, not anything that comes from outside of your body like consulting a spirit. I actually think that's dangerous in way.