True love????

[frivolousz21]

I know that..some KBJ or bitter old man or young man will flame me for this....but I dont care. I mean some KBJ's cut down really affects me

anyways..guys..Ive been with my LTR for 8 months...they say this is make it or break it time. Most days are really good..but then some are just amazing.

when this started..this is my 3rd LTR..the other 2 were both over atleast 1 yr...and 3 yrs...so I know what spending a long time with someone is.

this started with Friendship....overtime I realized how well and comfertable I could talk to her...about much more then putting off some ALPHA male front...because..Ill be honest..im not going to go fight guys or treat people like a jerk to be considered a man.

once the frienship...escalated....to more...it took 2 dates and the Physical attraction ignited...you know the attraction to where...you make out for hours at a time...so at that point..we would do that, go out on a lot of diff dates..and talk for hours each night on the phone. yea I broke the coveted 5 min rule..silly me.

then about 2 monhts in...we had sex..she was a virgin at the time...thats why it took 2 months..and I actually am grateful it did...got me time to become attached to her.

the sex started slow..but felt great...then it all came together....and then over the next 5 months...commitment the last of it came in... I knwo the old bitter men will say 8 months isnt shyt..blah blah...yea it isnt much when ur dating AW's.

anyways..I know if she leaves me..ill be like Trimreaper...look his thread up. maybe worse..but I like it this way...what this is more then I could ever imagine love is...its like combining all sides of love and putting into 1.

maybe thats why they call it IN love. Now I know im not the 1st person to ever feel this way..im also not the first person to ever have this and lose it for whatever reason..but thats not a fun life is it?


I know a lot of you want this..what I have...maybe not now, maybe later..but most even the bitter so called hard asses want this.

all I can say is you wont get it unless you realize what being your true self is...so you and her mesh with your true selfs together....this isnt about lasting forever, yada..this is about being compatible with a women so the emotional attachment is amplified to the high everyone wants.

its kinda like having a best friend who is like ur brother..but yet she is hot to you and u want to sleep with her, tell her everything and spend as much time as u can.

how can it better then that? it cant...

not money, material things or achievements triumph this love that men have coveted for yrs.

good luck..and JBY or JBTMUWTB(just be the man you want to be)

 

[Egoist]

couple of observations:

8 months is not much. Most real LTRs that end, end at around a 2 year mark, somewhere in the 18-30 months range. Plus i would say wait for the baby and see how that goes. Just being realistic. Out of my LLLLTR, i was in love with g/f for like 4 years, slowly falling out for the next two.

as far as true love? i dont know man, i think there is just love. Its kind of like death, its either complete or thats not it. The rest is just infatuation, puppy love, etc.

What i don't understand is the perceived eternity of love. If anything, love does exist, its justified by our chemistry, maybe our soul as well, but thats another discussion. But who says it has to last forever? Love, real love, even for a day, even for a minute, is a precious gift. Just to have experienced it is already enough. Don't be scared to lose it, just enjoy it while it lasts, but if its gone, realize how lucky you were to have lived it, and move on. So it doesn't matter if its a month, year, ten years, fourty years. Many people who were really in love enjoy their time with their partner, but are smart enough to realize when its over and move on without regrets.

 

[Egoist]

p.s. its all about living your life to the fullest. never let your doubts of the future control what you do today, because tomorrow may never come.

 

[Jariel]

Thanks for that inspiring post. I've taken a similar route lately and have been steady with my girlfriend for a couple of months.

Yeah, you're bound to get some haters on here who flame you for being "wussy" or whatever, but the fact is you got what you want, have made it work and you are happy. I'd sooner take your advice over any KJB theory.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Good post, friv.

I'd -hope- no one flames for honesty. Criticism, fine. Honesty, no.

Congrats on making. To me, time frames don't exist. Again, to me, just propaganda put out by society / feminists / dating gurus that want people to remain 'free'. To float from person to person, NEVER establishing long-term relationships.

Long-term relationships, sub-societies, cliques, etc, are anathema to 'society'. So there's 'deadline'. There's only a relationships deadline, when it's founded on NOTHING, and when people are there for GAIN. If they're into a relationship to GET, rather than GIVE, then most people DO leave, because they haven't GOT what it is they want by a certain time frame, so they up and go in the 'dating marketplace' and find another who'd satisfy their needs. "Here ya go, it's the NEW dating market place where we package women, sex, drugs, booze, ALL into 1, and you can HAVE it all!" The NEW UTOPIA! YAY!

WAAAY off base here, but what I'm saying comes back around to what I get here and that it's comendable. You "Get", though some KBJ's, would say NO. As they view it as a DATING site meant to PICKUP chicks, they don't see that you gain awareness of what's going on and USE IT TO YOUR OWN END. That's what THIS site is...

To have a successful relationship, you have to break the social umbilical cord that fawks up MOST people. Because you have that little voice and all that programming.

Guys want to fawk tons of bytches? Go for it. To me, that's a theory posited by scientists that human beings are mere animals, just growth from amoebas. Is that all you think / feel we are? Go for it.

Guys don't believe in monogamy. Fine. Don't. I didn't say MARRIAGE. I said Monogamy. Sexual exclusiveness with 1 person. Might not be a belief, but TONS of people do it. Just happens not to be a reality of some guys. Funny thing is, they also used to NOT believe they could get women. Now they do. Funny how realities change, once they change their internal belief, it changes their external world.

So I'm with you, because at least you're positive, you're happy with what you have, and happy with who you're with. That's most important. Because, quite honestly quys, what are you chasing? Is the chase of life, wealth, and material possession worthwhile? It's the chase itself that's rejuvenating...or is it possible the very simple things we desire in life can be had easily, emotionally, and readily, IF, we realized what they are.

"Acres of Diamonds." A parable on the wealth RIGHT before your nose.



A-Unit

 

[Egoist]

case in point:

with my ex, i spent my early 20s with her instead of being out there and banging random chicks. On one hand it sounds bad, on the other hand, it also means that I had incredible sex with one of the absolute hottest, smartest, most adjusted girls i knew a thousand or more times.

so i mean whats better? that or banging 50 random sluts ranging from 5 to 9, possible STDs, pregnancies, etc? Its all relative. Choose your own path. While I enjoy women and meeting new ones, if a right one crosses my path, I'm not going to make excuses not to go for it. And no, I am not trying to justify my ongoing semi-oneitis.

 

[frivolousz21]

thanks guys....

im also not the first person to ever have this and lose it for whatever reason..but thats not a fun life is it?

thats something to keep in mind...but not to plan on.



I know that today on her way from work to her interview for her intership she could die in a car accident.

its over.

I also know..its possible..doesnt matter if its .0000001 percent possible..she could lose her love and leave me.


Regardless....in any walk of life....when Jordan took shots, when Elway made passes, when Gretsky fired pucks..they all had to eliminate the fear of LOSS to suceed.

even if I lose her...it doesnt matter..this about here and now....as long as I try..I can live with myself..all we have is our brains...our thoughts and emotions.

I have a friend who works as a garbage man..makes 15.50 an hour..been doing it for 8 yrs....

many people would call him trash...obviously those people are missing what he has.

he has a wife of 6 yrs..and 2 kids..

thats his life...it makes him happy. he throws trash in that bin everyday to support that life because at the moment he has no other choice...because he would rather spend the nights with his kids rather then go to school...those memories of his boys are more important to him then a better job an education.

I guarentee those nights with their father are more important to those kids then him making more money.


again to each his is own.

i wrote this post because I know deep down..most, not all..but many men want this same love and family..and I am telling you its not some dream or fantasy...for everyone of you here wanting there are just as much loyal, trustworthy, and honorable women out there wanting the same thing.


before you critisize another...look inside your own self..and ask are you the person you want to be or the person the women yo want would want to be with?

 

[spider_007]

yaa, i remember that feeling ..................and then she crushed it

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
....

I have a friend who works as a garbage man..makes 15.50 an hour..been doing it for 8 yrs....

many people would call him trash...obviously those people are missing what he has.

he has a wife of 6 yrs..and 2 kids..

thats his life...it makes him happy. he throws trash in that bin everyday to support that life because at the moment he has no other choice...because he would rather spend the nights with his kids rather then go to school...those memories of his boys are more important to him then a better job an education.

its like you are trying to provoke people with horrible biased examples.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by spider_007
yaa, i remember that feeling ..................and then she crushed it

:crackup: sucks to be you?

always leave first

by the way, IMHO, one of the main reasons why LTRs rarely succeed from a DJ/PUA/Alpha point of view, is because it doesn't just take a real man, it takes a real woman as well, the one that understands what its all about.

 

[frivolousz21]

its like you are trying to provoke people with horrible biased examples.

nah...im giving you an example of what that particular person wants.


my best friend is 22 and single..he dates and sleeps with hot women.he loves it..and it makes him happy...

SS.net is massively biased towards guys who dont believe in love or blame women for there problems....my post is from personal expiernce.

and if u want to know in my life...only 2 guys i know are so called players now..my best friend and another close friend.the rest want a LTR or have one.

id also say only 3 of them arent afc and 2 of them are the players and the other is engaged.


im trying to show if u want afamily and a women like that..its fine..

 

[frivolousz21]

it takes a real woman as well, the one that understands what its all about.

now thasts something I agree with on 100 percent

 

[TomN]

This is an extremely refreshing post compaired to what I usually see on this website. I've never had the intention of becoming a PUA or player while reading through various posts the last couple years I've been a member. Sure it's fun to be with multiple women each month but that got old for me very quickly. I've recently met someone that I want to be with. She's an amazing girl that I can relate to like no one else I've ever met. While I haven't been in a relationship with her long, I could honestly see myself falling in love with her. Whoever made a statement saying it takes a real woman I agree with you 100%.

 

[GuitarPlayer]

Frivolousz21,

By all means, go for it. As you said, that magic feeling of being loved doesn't come along every day, so screw whatever some "Internet Don Juan" thinks. Sure, it's a different lifestyle than living for sex, but life is more than sex. In the LTR's I've had in the past, including my marriage, I was a DJ at times and an AFC at others. It's all about what works for you.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by GuitarPlayer
Sure, it's a different lifestyle than living for sex, but life is more than sex. .

wait wait wait a minute.

whats this i hear about sex? don't tell me you are assuming that banging multiple girls will mean better sex for you than sex with a good partner that you love?

with a right partner, sex only gets better. You just have to understand the sexual dynamic in the relationship, remember what women want, and if you let all your doubts and insecurities go, sex in a loving relationship is absolutely the best.

Just remember its not all just about release or giving each other orgasms, be a man, be proactive, and it will be so.

(well, your LTR partner has to be hot and keep in shape as well)

 

[frivolousz21]

(well, your LTR partner has to be hot and keep in shape as well)

believe it or not..but since she got pregnant..now she is 16 weeks...the sex for me as been the best..just seeing her pregnant and that glow off her from it....is amazing.

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
believe it or not..but since she got pregnant..now she is 16 weeks...the sex for me as been the best..just seeing her pregnant and that glow off her from it....is amazing.

pregnancy, especially in younger women, is not unattractive, unless you are really turned off by the weird belly.

but chances are, if she was hot naked before, she's gonna be hot even really pregnant.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
SS.net is massively biased towards guys who dont believe in love or blame women for there problems....my post is from personal expiernce.

A very valid point! There's also this kind of group think going on, where guys try to act or force themselves into this kind of cold, misognynistic mentality or pose as jerks or players to avoid getting flamed.

The weird thing is, a lot of guys come here looking for love or relationship advice, but instead they get PUA techniques and anti-feminism pushed on them.

I admire that you and a handful of others go against the flow and don't cave in to the flamers, and serve as motivation to those who are seeking what you have.

Afterall, supplicating to a bunch of anonymous guys on an internet forum is a whole lot worse than supplicating to a woman.

 

[GuitarPlayer]

Originally posted by Egoist
wait wait wait a minute.

whats this i hear about sex? don't tell me you are assuming that banging multiple girls will mean better sex for you than sex with a good partner that you love?

with a right partner, sex only gets better. You just have to understand the sexual dynamic in the relationship, remember what women want, and if you let all your doubts and insecurities go, sex in a loving relationship is absolutely the best.

Just remember its not all just about release or giving each other orgasms, be a man, be proactive, and it will be so.

(well, your LTR partner has to be hot and keep in shape as well)

Um.... I believe that's exactly what I said......

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by GuitarPlayer
Um.... I believe that's exactly what I said......

well allrighty then