Trouble with an Abused chick...

[downfallofdisbelief]

I met this super goregeous chick a 9.5----NO JOKE!!!! and I have came to discover some problems, she is constantly physically abused by her two brothers. She is only 5' 93 lbs so doesn't really have much to defend herself with. I'm overly attracted to her and want to get to know her because we seem to have alot in common but I don't know what to do! I know I shouldn't be messing with this but I can't help it. I really want to help her but I dont want to come off as AFC nice guy or have a bad case of oneitis or anything like that---and hell no, not the friends zone! I dont know what to say though. Thanks alot for any replies!

 

[rich_uk]

why dont you just ask her out??

and what do you mean by abused? just play fighting or what? has she complained about it to you? and what EXACTLY did she say?

 

[ReD MaFiA]

yea..what you mean by "abuse"? if they just playfully mess around with her like all bros and sis do then you got nothing to worry about. Now if they REALLY abuse her...i'd suggest staying the **** away from that family. IF she wanted help she would call social services or tell her dad a long time ago...

 

[blinkin_winkin]

First you need to find out what her idea of "abuse" is. If it's real abuse you should get her some help really. Imagine what would happen if the abusive brothers found out you were dating her. It would not be good for you at all.

 

[Gold Heart]

Physical abuse? Sexual abuse? Verbal? Which one?

 

[dElAvA]

I've known and dated quite a few girls that have been abused and taken advantage of by guys and its a real sticking problem. Its a tough thing to deal with.

Heres what I've found works if your a follower of David DeAngelo he talks about atticipation and getting a girl to go after you. A girl thats been abused can get really scared escpecially when you begin to get intimate with them I mean not to say they'll freak out at every little thing, its different with every girl but the tactic to go with is getting her after you David Teaches a 2 steps forward 1 step back method with most girls, with a girl thats been abused its basically the same but you don't want to use dominance tricks (like when your kissing her grab her hair and tug a little)and when she recipricates something you've done don't to quickly go forward stay at an even pace and she'll try again then go ahead if shes knows she has to work to get you going she'll feel much safer but once you get intimate with a girl like this its an amazing thing to have a girl just release. If she gets a feeling of saftey with you that she hasn't felt in a while she will bask in it and it makes you feel great to be the one that makes her feel this way.

The rewards for making her feel safe with you are amazing you just have to have a little more patience with her than you normally would have.

 

[downfallofdisbelief]

Thanks for all the replies by the way! Well, they constantly attack her physically. She always has bruises and such. I'm not sure about Sexual but I know that it is physical, and not just sibling rivalry like real, serious shiit. Yea, i see what your sayin about the non-dominence perspective but how do I go about this without looking like a wuss? Thanks.

 

[Zelemont]

Why doesn't she report it and get the hell out of there?

 

[HeyPretty]

She needs help.

Some girls can't leave the situation, because they have no other place to go, or feel emotionally powerless.

If her brothers are abusing her, in any form, there's most likely emotional abuse going on as well. She may have become conditioned to accept the abuse as "normal" as well.

I'd recommend talking to a school councilor or other confidential source about what can be done. Get the facts from her, and talk to someone who can offer some suggestions.

If she is being abused as you say, she has to get out of that situation. And like Blinkin said, it may be dangerous for you as well, not to mention her health if her brothers are the controlling abuse-type.

Here's some stuff that might help:

http://kidshelp.sympatico.ca/en/default.asp <--- Kids Help Line.

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence......... 360-352-4029

Washington State Toll-Free Hotline...................................... 800-562-6025

National Domestic Violence Hotline......................................800-799-7233

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.......................303-839-1852

 

[Bjon]

I say just ask her out. Make her feel special and safe when she is with you. Just take it slower than normal. I don't know what else to tell ya. But listen to these other guys they seem to have some good advice for ya.

 

[THA REALNESS]

depends

U like her or just wanna bang her ?

 

[Zelemont]

Re: depends

Originally posted by THA REALNESS
U like her or just wanna bang her ?

What would your reply be for both of those?

If he likes her, he might want to help her, but he will probably not be very successful, and he might get his ass kicked in the process, and he will probably soon realize what what a pain in the ass it can be to have a girlfriend who has more problems than him.

If he just want's to **** her, she might be reluctant to let him get close very fast because she won't want to be hurt, but I don't know the girl, so I can't say for sure. If she expects him to stick around and be her boyfriend, and he just quits talking to her after the ****ing, it will just add to her list of bull**** that is happening in her life, which is not cool to do to her.

 

[downfallofdisbelief]

I just want to help her and maybe start a relationship but I dont know because I want to get to know her (obviously) and No, I'm not going to use HER or ANYBODY for sex. Thats dumb. If I'm horny, I'll use a hand thank you.

 

[Mikelo2k]

Wow...

Me personally, I have no respect for any autoritive figure, such as the fvcking Police \ Social Services \ etc... I know that if i was in her situation, calling any of those would never cross my mind, not to mention if i ever did call one of them it'd make matters worse and may result in death

If i was you, i'd get this chick to 'run away', leave her current home and come live with you (If possible) or with a friend. Sure it is dangerous if her family called the cops, but that's what i would do If the cops came, she could explain the situation, they would allow her to stay with you (most likely), and keep her the fvck away from her family.

Getting into something like this is VERY SERIOUS, it is nothing to mess with if you arent willing to take on a heavy burden, and if you arent willing to get involved with some dangerous sh!t....

LOL just my 7 cents

 

[TeflonDon]

i was in this situation last summer, and it totally blew up in my face...the girl was hot, and freaky as hell, but she had a butt load of emotional baggage, i comforted her, and made her feel special...but the more i did that, it seemed like the further i pushed her away...she ended up breaking it off leaving me with my c*ock in the wind, and went back to some loser who treated her like crap...you gotta be very careful with the emotionally scarred chicks...no matter how hard you try, they'll always go back to the abuse...what they need is counseling, not a bf...

 

[misunderstood??]

I forgot who said it, put I read in a post on the tips forum awhile back I believe. Anyways to the point I think it was said that if she has more problems then you, next her.

You don't want to put up with all her problems, it'll make u go insane, you don't need it.

 

[WingS]

Originally posted by downfallofdisbelief
im not going to use HER or ANYBODY for sex. Thats dumb. If I'm horny, I'll use a hand thank you.

oh brother

yea this girl needs some help man...how old is she and how old r her brothers and why do they do it?

 

[downfallofdisbelief]

Yea i see what you mean about the baggage thing. She just turned 18 so I think she might be able to do something about it. She doesn't live with her parents though, now its her brothers that abuse her. Her dad did it in the past though (before he got sent to jail for killing her twin sister). There's probably too much messedupness to deal with (is that a word??). I do want to help her i any way, not neccissarrily start a relationship, but yea. Thanks for teh posts by the way!

 

[sausage fingers]

WTF He killed her twin sister???? Dude get her the fvck out of that house man...that family messed up.

 

[AC/DC]

The only thing my dad ever said to me about dating was:

NEVER get a girl with more problems than you.