tried to fvck close on 1st date.. now might have ruined everything

[drift king]

my date with this new HB went well. i kiss closed several times, then i suggested we go back to her dorms (she agreed) but i took that the wrong way.

when i parked up and walked her back to the entrance of her dorms she stopped. as if to say ok this is where we part ways. because i felt too ****y i was overreaching and suggested we go inside. she goes 'not this time' then i'm such an idiot i tried to convince her by saying 'it's ok we don't have to do anything' then she goes 'my room is messy' i go 'i dont mind messy' but then you could see the look of disdain on her face,

i left it but then tried to change the convo to how it's the 1st week of uni and she'll have lot of parties to go to so i duno when i'd see her again and told her to let me know when she's free.. all while i could see the look on her face changed from look of love to look of 'ok he was only after 1 thing.. what an a$$hole..'

i didn't know what to do in that time to change that look on her face.. then i went back into afc mode and tried to make arrangements for next time to diffuse the situation.

now she thinks im only after one thing.. how should i play it now or have i ruined it?

 

[Metaphysical]

what i'm about to tell you may sound a bit AFC-ish, but I have been in your situation before and this is how i got out of it

make sure you actually like the girl if you are gonna waste u r time doing this

but next time, invite her somewhere very non-threatening like coffee, somewhere in public, etc.. and don't make any more sexual comments.

get coffee with her, dont kiss her.. if you do, give her a small one.

next time meet her up again on a third date and do the same thing. little kiss, maybe go a little bit more into it but nothing overtly sexual.

then fourth time invite her over to your house and make it seem very nonthreatening.. don't let her get the idea that you will bone her.

and when she gets there, lay it hard on her and escalate very fast... overwhelm her... that way she will be surprised and won't have time to build up resistance against it.

it's kinda sneaky in a way.. and i doubt i would do it again if i had to go back, but it worked for me...

the reason it's gonna work is because she shot down your direct approach so you gotta catch her in the moment when she ain't expecting it. otherwise she will be starting to think u r after only one thing and have time to build excuses/resistance to you.

 

[drift king]

the thing is i can tell she wants it too but didn't want to come across as a slut or presumed to be a slut.. so now i've got this baggage and perception about me.

if you want to know something worse.. last year i met up with her friend twice and i've messaged her close friends on facebook before with the same lines.. basically i think i got a rep with her group but for some reason this one doesn't know about me yet.. but given our smooching session tonight she probably will.. this is reason i tried the f close cos i thought i may not get another chance in future once she finds out i met her friend before and got into a heated argument. her friend badmouthed me thereafter to all her mutual friends.

but say i get lucky and she doesn't find out, when would be the best time to call her?

i dont like how i went afc trying to change the subject to meeting up again when she was already thinking i was only after one thing.. it's amazing how one small thing can ruin a perfectly excellent date. i should have took her hint when i walked her to her dorms and she stopped to say goodbye to me. it's so obvious.

is the pushiness i showed and fact she thinks i was only after one thing now going to prevent me from getting her purely cos i reckon she might not pick my calls in future knowing that our next meet up she'll think i want sex?

 

[Metaphysical]

send her this as a text message:

"I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday Monica. I was so overwhelmed when I kissed you that I almost lost control over myself. Tasting your lips was exquisite. I would like to see you again, but this time let's slow things down a bit and actually get to know each other. When are you free?"

 

[drift king]

is that really gona work?

i think she knows i had control over myself tryna invite myself in to her dorms... :-s

any other suggestions?

 

[Eccentric]

Slam on the brakes.

You suggested that you go back to her dorm, and she agreed. Don't you dare apologize or give an excuse to her for your actions. Last minute resistance on her part kept you out. There can be a million and one reasons why. But I wasn't there so I wont speculate.

Don't worry about her screening calls. You're in college, I'm sure she's well aware of your sex drive. Are you well aware of hers?

Give it a few days.

Next time you talk to her, pretend nothing happened and never speak of that moment again. It's over and done with, you can't fix the past but you can improve the future.

Don't shy away from her sexually because "she knows your after one thing" then again don't rape her either. Think of it like Chess, well not that hard... Just stay 1 step ahead of her. You'll be tearing that ass apart in no time.

 

[drift king]

good advice although my 'let's go back to your dorms' comment she took for 'i'll give you a lift back to your dorms' reason why? because earlier in the night i suggested to her she didn't have to worry about staying out late and not being able to get back cos i'd give her a lift back to dorms.

now she thinks i'm a sleazebag. it wasn't wrong for me to try but i should have backed off as soon as she said not this time rather than try to push it.

if i hadn't then sure enough i would have got her next time. now it's up in the air cos she thinks im only after one thing and a sleazebag.

now she'll think every time i call i'm still just trying to get one thing so i probably definitely won't get any next time and have to spend the date reassuring her of my intentions.

if i call her in a few days and she doesn't pick up (as i expect) nor call me back.. what should i do after.. how long do i wait before i call again?

clearly if she doesn't pick up or doesn't call back, this time it's not cos she's not interested.. it's cos she thinks im only after 1 thing.. so her interest may have dropped significantly till i prove that i'm not.

 

[Eccentric]

You have to stop worrying about how she perceives you. If you are going to be rejected, let her do it, not yourself playing the what if game. Call back in a few days. If she doesn't respond, then you move on and don't take it personal.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

send her this as a text message:

"I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday Monica. I was so overwhelmed when I kissed you that I almost lost control over myself. Tasting your lips was exquisite. I would like to see you again, but this time let's slow things down a bit and actually get to know each other. When are you free?"

wow that was gay. poetic and very creepy.

 

[J Roc]

send her this as a text message:

"I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday Monica. I was so overwhelmed when I kissed you that I almost lost control over myself. Tasting your lips was exquisite. I would like to see you again, but this time let's slow things down a bit and actually get to know each other. When are you free?"

whatever you do dont do this!

 

[ac3]

actually those kind of words will get women light headed, i've used that style before. they are not used to men talking to them like that and it's refreshing for them. you totally surprise them and intrigue them when you start to talk like that.

what men don't understand is that women think on an emotional level. those kinds of words touch women deep.

 

[BeyondCharm]

send her this as a text message:

"I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday Monica. I was so overwhelmed when I kissed you that I almost lost control over myself. Tasting your lips was exquisite. I would like to see you again, but this time let's slow things down a bit and actually get to know each other. When are you free?"

I DONT RECOMMEND THIS EITHER. I SAY GIVE IT A FEW DAYS, THEN CALL HER.

 

[slickaz]

give the girl some time..
hit her up next week
put it out of your head till then.

when you do hit her up, be non threatening.
be that way till you find her giving in.

its the ASD that stopped her from it?
then she'll open up again.

you made a mistake by pushing..so even if this goes south..you've learnt a lesson..lol.
good luck

 

[#41]

send her this as a text message:

"I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday Monica. I was so overwhelmed when I kissed you that I almost lost control over myself. Tasting your lips was exquisite. I would like to see you again, but this time let's slow things down a bit and actually get to know each other. When are you free?"

Add in "The captivating nature of your beauty drives men to song" and you'll be golden. Maybe send her some flowers anonymously too.