translate this for me

newbeginning

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went to movie with girl for the first time. Also first time meeting her. Anyways, half way through the movie i grabbed her hand and started caressing it. She did the same. Then rested her head on my shoulder a couple of times during the movie.

Two days later, i talked to her and said that "i guess im attracted to you, but if you dont feel the same way then we can just be friends." Then she agreed that we should just be friends. Im confused as heck.

Lemme know what you guys think.
 

JoeSchmoe05

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well, u should have never admitted being attracted to her... now that you have, you might as well go with the whole friends idea, but keep going back and forth and keep her guessing. shes probably attracted to you, and thinks this is all a fun little game. just go with it,
 

biggestplaya

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you should never tell a girl u like her or that ur attracted to her, just assume that shes attracted to you and play your own mans game, keep her guessing and keep her coming back for more to find out whats going on.
 

Marf

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NEVER tell a girl you are attracted to her... that takes away the challenge. As biggestplaya said: just keep your game going and if she is attracted; good. Keep going then. If not, NEXT her.
 

School

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Why would you just come out and say, "if you don't feel the same way we can just be friends"?? I don't get that. For one thing, you just met the girl and secondly, things like that just occur. she may have just been being agreeable. You may have blew your chances... :confused:
 

Qmanchoo

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I have to say it again since it's one of the first, and worst, stumbling blocks for a lot of guys. I actually had a good laugh when I read your post because it reminded me of the first time I said "I really like you Amber, I think about you all the time, do you think we could go out to a movie together sometime?" which lead to a month of being played ending in confusion and frustration. Seems like ages ago.

Anyway, never tell a girl you like her or love her early on. When her emotional attraction to you is at a certain level and depth you can get away with saying it (meaning after being toegther for a year and she's still super attracted to you)... but it almost never increases her attraction for you. If her emotional state and attraction is below yours and you tell her you like or love her she will run for the f'in hills. (or agree and LJBF you) If she was really attracted to you she wouldn't have been in agreement.Ok, moving on...

I think most experienced guys in this forum can attest to the idea that going to a movie is a horrible first date idea.

1. You can't talk or communicate with her at all really = how are you going to increase her attraction for you?
2. There is no energy to the interaction
3. You want to fall alseep after getting out of along movie not go out on the town or do something fun.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that humans are better at DO'ing thatn NOT doing. And if given a list of "not to's do's" with a girl we end up running through a checklist before we make a move. Or at least I used to and that would trip up my interaction.

Instead of giving you a perspective on what not to do, try this perspective. It's one I adopted a while ago and has worked really well for me...

There is a specific set of traits and behaviors that women find universially attractive. So, why wouldn't you want to take those things and only work those into your interactions with girls instead of everything else that, say, might make them bored or not respond emotionally. Think of this as the foundation of your interaction.

1. Girls love stories that invoke some sort of emotion within them, so have a few good ones to tell.
2. Girls love hearing about other peoples drama, rock star scandals, mafia driven/drug dealing/coke slinging/drug busting craziness (from jerry springer, to talk radio, to local police logs), so talk about that stuff, it's interesting, and then what's behind it so you convey your understanding(important!)
3. Girls love interactions with energy that bring them to peak emotional states (amusement parks!)...now not the wierd new age voodoo type of energy...I mean real "I'm pumed and having fun!" energy.

So, say you go on a date and only focus on DOING those three things. What do you accomplish?

1. You're fun and interesting (bonus!)
2. She'll remember what you talked about because her emotional state was high
3. Since you were only really talking about stories and fun topics you remain a mystery to her
4. You convery that your smart talking about what's behind the drama you see in life (You know the score!)

Anyway, hope that helps. It's worked great for me.
 

JohnJones

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I don't think you should be confused. You told her that if she wasn't attracted to you, you would just stay friends. So she said LJBF.

So she's not attracted to you.
 

DJDamage

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Originally posted by newbeginning


"i guess im attracted to you, but if you dont feel the same way then we can just be friends." Then she agreed that we should just be friends. Im confused as heck.

Lemme know what you guys think.
That is very wussy statment you gave her, your lack of confidence exposed you for the man you were. Lets break down the statment shell we?

"I GUESS" - Never say Guess, not sure, maybe. You should be confident in what you say and you need to say it with conviction. Also women use alot of "I guess" because they can't make up their mind. Indecisiveness is a bad trait to have for a man.

"I'm Attracted to you" - You don't say you are attracted to a chick you just met. You are vomiting your feeling towards her on the first date. Where is the Mystery and the challange in that?? You can show her that you are attracted to her by calling her up for a second date. Action not words.

"but if you dont feel the same way then we can just be friends" - You sabtoage your date with that statment. You show lack of confidence and transmitted it to her by believing that you are unworthy for a second date. You rejected yourself instead of seeing how the date progess. If she didn't like your company she would have let you know or gave you the run around. She saw your lack of confidence and self esteem with that statment and she agreed to it! There is nothing to be confused here. Don't do it next time.

Qmanchoo great list of Interaction list. Chicks love drama, emotions and gossip and if you can convay that through your stories you will be much more exciting to hang out then a movie.
 

mactheripper

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Well said
I must be learning a lot because I picked all the faults with that line straight away.

Thanks for reiterating that verbalising attraction should be put off until completely necissary. It's all body language and action.

If you asked her out on another date I'm sure she has the brains to figure out you like her, without you saying it.
 

newbeginning

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omg, you people are so right. I have much to learn. I was doing very well until that point. Im in ruin. Well, time to find the next target.
 

italostud

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Troll.
 
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