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aimchase

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So this girl has been playing the pull/push for a bit now. Randomly text messages me, asks how I am, but doesn't make any suggestions about meeting up.

Before I came on here, I asked her if she fancied going out some time. She said she would but was busy and maybe in a few weeks.

I didn't call her again as I wasn't going to chase her. Since then, i've read plenty of ideas on here.

This evening she randomly texts messages me again (first time in about a month) asking how I am again. Not caring either way how it goes, she stands to be good for an experiment. So I completely changed the AFC messages and went straight in with the leadership talk.

Aim: 'Are you free Wednesday evening'
Her: 'Working in the day but don't think I have much planned for the evening xxx'
Aim: 'Good. I'll pick you up at 8pm. We're going to Mama Mia's'

She is absolutely gushing! She immediately responded, 'yes definitely, looking forward to it', and is still messaging now! I'm being quite laid back though and taking a while to respond.

Now to keep the alpha attitude going for the date! Great stuff on here though!
 

jonwon

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aimchase said:
So this girl has been playing the pull/push for a bit now. Randomly text messages me, asks how I am, but doesn't make any suggestions about meeting up.

Before I came on here, I asked her if she fancied going out some time. She said she would but was busy and maybe in a few weeks.

I didn't call her again as I wasn't going to chase her. Since then, i've read plenty of ideas on here.

This evening she randomly texts messages me again (first time in about a month) asking how I am again. Not caring either way how it goes, she stands to be good for an experiment. So I completely changed the AFC messages and went straight in with the leadership talk.

Aim: 'Are you free Wednesday evening'
Her: 'Working in the day but don't think I have much planned for the evening xxx'
Aim: 'Good. I'll pick you up at 8pm. We're going to Mama Mia's'

She is absolutely gushing! She immediately responded, 'yes definitely, looking forward to it', and is still messaging now! I'm being quite laid back though and taking a while to respond.

Now to keep the alpha attitude going for the date! Great stuff on here though!
Your starting to get it.

When you take her to mama mias, be fun but assertive.

Choose your food, choose the table, choose the seat, make no apology, ask her if she wants to sit there, but if you do, walk to the seat, dont wait for a reply.

It's the little things people dont do.

Be forward, be assertive, mock her a little too.

If she says things like

"My hair is a mess"

Say

"I didn't want to say anything"

Be cheeky, be fun, be in charge, think of it as a game to play.

Dont be try hard, but lead - make her do some chasing.

When wednesday comes around, ring her before you set off -

Say

"I'm on my way, I hope you look good, or you better be looking hot"

Dont phone her and ask if your still on, assume you are, assume your the catch and she is lucky your even giving her your time.
 

jophil28

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jonwon said:
Your starting to get it.

When you take her to mama mias, be fun but assertive.

Choose your food, choose the table, choose the seat, make no apology, ask her if she wants to sit there, but if you do, walk to the seat, dont wait for a reply.

It's the little things people dont do.

Be forward, be assertive, mock her a little too.

If she says things like

"My hair is a mess"

Say

"I didn't want to say anything"

Be cheeky, be fun, be in charge, think of it as a game to play.

Dont be try hard, but lead - make her do some chasing.

When wednesday comes around, ring her before you set off -

Say

"I'm on my way, I hope you look good, or you better be looking hot"

Dont phone her and ask if your still on, assume you are, assume your the catch and she is lucky your even giving her your time.
YEP, that's good enough advice for where he is at right now.
Just one last thing Aimchase, occasionally women gush over an invitation but then cancel at the last minute with some lame excuse, or worse, they just flake .
What is your plan if she does either of these ?
Do you know what to do or NOT do ?
 

aimchase

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jophil28 said:
YEP, that's good enough advice for where he is at right now.
Just one last thing Aimchase, occasionally women gush over an invitation but then cancel at the last minute with some lame excuse, or worse, they just flake .
What is your plan if she does either of these ?
Do you know what to do or NOT do ?
I'd be surprised if she cancels, but who knows.

If she does (which would probably be by text message), i'd just reply, 'ok, see you later' and leave it at that. I wouldn't make any other call.

If she cancels with a perhaps genuine reason and says something like, 'can't make tonight but how about Friday?', i'd probably respond with something like 'i'm not sure I can do then, i'll have to let you know', or 'Friday's no good for me. I might be able to make Sunday'.

Does that get the thumbs up?

I'll let you know how it goes anyway.
 

jophil28

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aimchase said:
I'd be surprised if she cancels, but who knows.

If she does (which would probably be by text message), i'd just reply, 'ok, see you later' and leave it at that. I wouldn't make any other call.

If she cancels with a perhaps genuine reason and says something like, 'can't make tonight but how about Friday?', i'd probably respond with something like 'i'm not sure I can do then, i'll have to let you know', or 'Friday's no good for me. I might be able to make Sunday'.

Does that get the thumbs up?

I'll let you know how it goes anyway.
Good enough -good luck !
 

Tpants

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jonwon said:
When wednesday comes around, ring her before you set off -

Say

"I'm on my way, I hope you look good, or you better be looking hot"
A good line I heard from a real player:

"I'm on my way. Be waiting at the curb because I'm not stopping, I'm only slowing down."

At the time I was a total AFC and horrified that someone could talk to a girl in such a disrespectful manner. That was before I'd heard of c&f.
 

aimchase

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Well Jophil clearly has some psychic ability as I did get a message this afternoon, in which she says,

"Hi Aim, i'm really sorry but can't make tonight. Sorry to let you down. Something has come up and i'm not sure when i'll be back. I would suggest popping over your house when I get back but don't want to mess you around xxx".

That was a kind of tricky one - she's cancelling with a lame excuse but then possibly hinting at coming round mine later? Not sure what the intention is by that. Thing is, I don't want her round my house on the first meet and i'm not going to take her cancellations lightly.

I text her back which at the time I thought ok, but perhaps on reflection slightly AFC. I wrote,

"No probs. Take Care".

She then sent another message back about 30 mins later which said,

"Thanks. You take care too and sorry again xxx"

I've not responded, nor am I going to now.

Next!!!
 

jophil28

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If we could look into the teeming mass of insecurities, agonies and swirling self doubts that is a woman's mind we may begin to understand.
To a man, a date arranged by phone or text for a few days hence is a deal - it's written in stone . To a woman it is an irresistible opportunity to pore over your every word, decipher every syllable and nail-bite every suggestion of your's for it's "true meaning " .
It often takes a typical immature woman less that 24 hours to do a 180 after enthusiastically gushing over your date offer..

Often times, negotiating a meetup with a new women is like grappling with an armful of smoke.

AImchase. Your reply was fine- if she is interested she will contact you again.
However there are two types of contact- she will either test to check whether you are still willing to be dangling on the end of her long line OR she genuinely wants to connect up, in which case she will make an offer to meet with you. It is her move.

"The greatest truth is in their behavior ".
 

imarockstar

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yea it looks like your starting to learn dude. just today the same thing happened, well somewhat. this girl i havent talked to in like a year texts me yesterday asking what im up to. i make some jokes, then a few texts later i said we should get together tomorrow (which is today). she says ok cool. i text her today just saying whats up. make another joke keeping it fun, then say that we should hang out after shes done doing what she was doing. she responds to my joke, but not my invitation.

in the past, i would have said ok, so do you wanna hang out or not. but i realized today, if she really wanted to hang out she wouldve brought it up. this is when i realized that i was being used to fulfill her attention needs. at first i was kind of pissed, more so that i wouldnt be getting laid tonight than actually hanging out with her. but the important thing is to not let these women affect your emotions. months ago i wouldve been tempted to send her a text back questioning her motives, but now i just dont care. its a waste of time to try to understand a women.

the other reason i dont care is because a girl just as hott hit me up out of the blue asking me to hang out this weekend. youve got to keep many women and options in your life, or "spin plates" as this site suggests. anyways, i think you did well aim. you gotta not let these women fvck with your head, and if they do, dont let them know it. what ive been focusing on more and more lately is to be patient, keep improving yourself and eventually youll be the one doing the rejecting and ignoring.
 

wait_out

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aimchase said:
"Hi Aim, i'm really sorry but can't make tonight. Sorry to let you down. Something has come up and i'm not sure when i'll be back. I would suggest popping over your house when I get back but don't want to mess you around xxx".

That was a kind of tricky one - she's cancelling with a lame excuse but then possibly hinting at coming round mine later? Not sure what the intention is by that. Thing is, I don't want her round my house on the first meet and i'm not going to take her cancellations lightly.
I've got texts like that before. Girls do this to feel you out, while remaining 100% non-committal themselves. A good thing to do is (very subtly) call her on this behaviour and force her choice. Example:

"I might come over, not sure"
"Well, tell me when you're sure, then."

You might see a 180 with her confirming the date. It's still maddening behaviour though; it's not like she's going to act better just because you outplayed her in a BS texting game. I wouldn't lose any sleep about it.
 
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