Too shy to make a move

[One on One]

Dayammmmmmnnnnn!

Aw, I ****ed up bad tonight. Here's the deal. I go clubbing with my guy friend and he gets like 6 girls to come with us. Most of them aren't good looking, but 2 are okay. Anyways, I get drunk and my friend does too and we have one of the decent looking girls drive us home. On the way home, my friend is sleeping and I get into a really deep conversation with this girl. It was good ****...using C+f and really getting her IL sky high. I'm kinda drunk and we talk about that and she says she has aspirin at her place. She makes sure to drop my friend off first and I make sure to suggest going back to her place for the aspirin and some water since I don't have any.

We chill at her place for like 1.5 hours shooting the **** and watching random TV. I get up several times to get water and she gets up a few times for random stuff. Every time I sit a bit closer to her and her body language is open to me. Yet, I fail to make a move. I was too shy to even put my arm around her!!! She even put her arms together late in the night as if she was cold and I did nothing! As my buzz was wearing off, I was ****ing up big time. My game was going out the window. I'm so pissed....I could have made something happen tonight, but I failed. After aobut 1.5 hours at her place, she finally got tired of waiting and we parted. Arghhhh!!!!

I almost feel as if I should apologize for not making a move...it was that blatant!!!!

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by dave134

I almost feel as if I should apologize for not making a move...it was that blatant!!!!

Don't do that . Unlucky, hopefully you've realised how dumb it was to not make a move, and won't make the same mistake twice . The idea is to get convo going, and in a direction that leads to something more. It's hard to explain. Like when you got up for water, and came back you shoulda sat next her, put your arm around her, and started talking. Flirtatiously. Then hopefully you'll get an "all clear" and go in for the kiss. It takes balls, but sometimes it's so easy cos' the chick is giving all the signs. Maybe try take her on a date, and then you'll wind up back at her place. Try again. You can only gain experience.

Better luck next time!
Santos

 

[One on One]

Re: Re: Too shy to make a move

Originally posted by Santos
Don't do that . Unlucky, hopefully you've realised how dumb it was to not make a move, and won't make the same mistake twice . The idea is to get convo going, and in a direction that leads to something more. It's hard to explain. Like when you got up for water, and came back you shoulda sat next her, put your arm around her, and started talking. Flirtatiously. Then hopefully you'll get an "all clear" and go in for the kiss. It takes balls, but sometimes it's so easy cos' the chick is giving all the signs. Maybe try take her on a date, and then you'll wind up back at her place. Try again. You can only gain experience.

Better luck next time!
Santos

Well, I still believe I ****ed up now on the next morning. Even if she rejected me, I could have used drunkenness as an excuse so I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not going to take her out, though, because I'm not really into her but a little action would have been nice. Despite all this, I have gone from having no female friends at this school to meeting at least 5 potential friends in the last 2 days.

It has occurred to me, though, that I'm not really sure how to proceed flirtatiously as you suggest. I'm great at eliciting values and getting them to talk and throwing in good jokes for a great conversation, but I don't think I know how to take it to the next level. Some examples might help.

 

[becker]

Don't get drunk next time and hopefully you'll be more alert.

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by becker
Don't get drunk next time and hopefully you'll be more alert.

That wasn't the problem, man. I was a bit drunk, but I was sitting there debating to make a move, but I was scared. I was fully aware of the situation. I wasn't sure because it would have been weird making a move on a girl who might become a friend, just trying to get a night of action...and she is friends with my best friend. I dunno...

 

[becker]

Is your best friend who she is a friend with a girl or a guy? Yes, that might be a bit awkward if you sleep with her and you have to see her all the time and you aren't interested in her, because she will likely be more into you after you guys hook up.

I'd say you made the right decision holding back, despite being drunk. Good job.

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by becker
Is your best friend who she is a friend with a girl or a guy? Yes, that might be a bit awkward if you sleep with her and you have to see her all the time and you aren't interested in her, because she will likely be more into you after you guys hook up.

I'd say you made the right decision holding back, despite being drunk. Good job.

My friend is a guy. I was worried about it being awkward so I held back. I have very few friends here so I'm more concerned with making some friends first rather than sleeping with everyone.

 

[white_hype]

wow dave...

i continually see posts of yours asking, what do do next OMG?!?! or i messed up so bad this sux or i am a loser WAHHHH!!

plz stop posting threads you already know the answer to man, dont rely on this site to make every move for you, you post all this casue you are unsure of yourself, HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE DAMMIT

anytime you go somewhere with a chick alone (even if your friend came with you) i.e her place or yours after a night out, assume she wants your balls (i always assume this, even before i meet chicks, and how it would be mean to her if i didnt make a move so she could have those nuts in her mouth)

many things you could have done there:
-sit next to her and put your arm around her when you got back from water
-say i want to check out your bed room, and just go in there and act like your looking around (but dont ask her to come) she will just follow then sit on her bed and ask her to sit next to her and make a move
-just make heavy EC, smile, and lighlty stroker her hair and pull her chin into you and KISS HER DAMMIT (on vacation 1 week ago i was on a hammock on the beach with a girl i met 15 mins ago, i was kinda drunk, she was completely sober and HOT!, and she wasnt giving EC cause it was a dam hammock so i put my arm around her to bring her close and slowly stroked her hair then like 30 secs later grabbed her chin and started a long make out session)

-say you want a massage cause you are sore form working out or something (dont ask her if she wants one, that looks pus$$y) and have her give it to you on her bed then do it to her and kiss her neck after a while and start making out with her

dam man, let your balls drop for once and quit being such a girl

hope this helps

 

[One on One]

Originally posted by white_hype
wow dave...

i continually see posts of yours asking, what do do next OMG?!?! or i messed up so bad this sux or i am a loser WAHHHH!!

plz stop posting threads you already know the answer to man, dont rely on this site to make every move for you, you post all this casue you are unsure of yourself, HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE DAMMIT

anytime you go somewhere with a chick alone (even if your friend came with you) i.e her place or yours after a night out, assume she wants your balls (i always assume this, even before i meet chicks, and how it would be mean to her if i didnt make a move so she could have those nuts in her mouth)

many things you could have done there:
-sit next to her and put your arm around her when you got back from water
-say i want to check out your bed room, and just go in there and act like your looking around (but dont ask her to come) she will just follow then sit on her bed and ask her to sit next to her and make a move
-just make heavy EC, smile, and lighlty stroker her hair and pull her chin into you and KISS HER DAMMIT (on vacation 1 week ago i was on a hammock on the beach with a girl i met 15 mins ago, i was kinda drunk, she was completely sober and HOT!, and she wasnt giving EC cause it was a dam hammock so i put my arm around her to bring her close and slowly stroked her hair then like 30 secs later grabbed her chin and started a long make out session)

-say you want a massage cause you are sore form working out or something (dont ask her if she wants one, that looks pus$$y) and have her give it to you on her bed then do it to her and kiss her neck after a while and start making out with her

dam man, let your balls drop for once and quit being such a girl

hope this helps

Harsh, but you're right. I am simply afraid of rejection. I will do my best to address the problem.

 

[white_hype]

yea man i know its harsh, but thats what you need, im trying to help

you dont want someone to be like, dont worry man, youre doing SUPER!!

you need a swift kick in the balls

i used to be just like you man.. (well not that bad, but afraid to talk to every girl i wanted to at a party, still i talked to some)
and at the first big party of the year i must have talkeed to 15 girls i didnt know

what helped me get my confidence is this:

i started working out the RIGHT WAY i gained 25lbs over the summer (mostly muscle) putting me up to 200lbs (i was really skinny before)
-i also used crest white strips which have made my teeth almost completely pure white
-i also took a brazilian ju jitsu and muay thai class to learn how to fight (i never get in fights) but this have given me loads of confidence because i think that i can kick everyone's a$$ now that ive taken this class (even though i dont go looking for fights, but having the confidence tthat i know i could kick someon's ass really helps
-i also have nice skin (not many pimples, always shave, nice sideburns, etc)
-i eat right, and get lots of sleep

pm me if you want any other info or hlep

later

 

[seulaxplaya]

deal with it bro. It happens and there is always another chance either with the same chick or another one. Dont sweat it. It already happened and dont let it happen again. Remember its only a mistake if you didnt learn from it. You may have also done some good by not making a move. She may be thinking what she is doing wrong and hopefully next time she will try harder. Win win situation

 

[Donjuanpablo]

I think a lot of people have that problem, I know I often have as well. Theres that fear of being rejected while at the same time feeling pretty cheesy. This is what I usually do in this situation.

When talking to her and looking her in the eye just stop and hold eye contact, almost so that your staring at her and she should probably do the same. Just hold the staring and move in a little closer so that she can almost feel you breathing. If you can do this for 5+ seconds you'll find yourself moving in for the kiss without even realizing it. If she holds the staring as we for the 5+ seconds, there is no chance at all that she wont kiss back. I've does this heaps of times and its never failed me. The worst that can happen is that she doesnt hold the staring but in the unlikely scenario in which that may happen, you havent actually made a move so there's no feeling of rejection.

 

[Howie Farkes]

Have you ever been rejected when you tried to make a move? I can tell you it doesn't ever feel as bad as what you're feeling now, knowing that you passed up on an opportunity waiting (1.5 hours no less) to be taken.

Next time you're in same the situation, remember this pain and do what what it takes to avoid it - ie grab your gonads and make a move.

 

[Kodiac]

The longer you wait...and contemplate doing something, the worse it will become.

Next time you start tothink about touching her or make a move, DO IT. As soon as start considering the 'what if's' it's too late. Just say to yourself, FUK IT...and DO IT.

Easy