Too much confidence bad?

[dj_spain]

Sometimes, when I'm very confidenct and displaying it, some people get annoyed and distant.
It's not that I get too ****y or arrogant, I'm very friendly and open to them actually.
I don't know what problem some people have with me being happy and letting my personality shine.
Perhaps there are times people aren't in the mood to talk to another person that is in good mood,I don't know.
Could too much confidence actually be a turn-off?

 

[diablo]

Their definition of "****y" or "arrogant" might be different than your own - just as a person who hasn't bathed in 1 month can't tell that he stinks, you might not be able to see that what you're doing is actually a turn off. My suggestion would be to reduce the level of confidence that you display (not that you feel) and see what effect that has on the situation. Experiment.

 

[sharpshooter]

Hmmm, I know exactly what you're talking about there. I usually get the same problem every once in a while. I have the tendancy to come off as ultra confident and waaay too self assure/direct. This leads people to believe i'm arrogant etc. The fact is that most people are not confident about themselves/their surroundings etc, so they won't take it in a good way. The people who ARE confident will accept you, your jokes, etc. Look around you next time, most people are miserable (or atleast appear to be). Just continue being yourself, but you might want to tone it down a little bit though.

 

[dj_spain]

I'm not saying that everyone finds it bad. Just wondering that there are some people out there that when you hit them in the shoulder and say:"Hey!How're you doin'?!"look at you as if you were an alien and say in a shy voice:"all right",then look down and after that continue the stupid conversation they were having before.
I want to make clear that i don't give a **** about what they think or do,but I was just wondering if,when dealing with people you don't know too well yet, you should first warm them up to you and then show your confidence gradually,thus not to seem very familiar at the beginning of conversations in general.
Any thoughts?

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by dj_spain
when dealing with people you don't know too well yet, you should first warm them up to you and then show your confidence gradually,thus not to seem very familiar at the beginning of conversations in general.

Well, you've just rephrased what sharpshooter and myself have told you. Obviously, there are going to be people you don't 'click' with. However, you can reduce the number of people this happens to if you don't come across the first time you meet someone as being overbearing, arrogant, or ****y. Like sharp has said, like I have said, and like you have said - tone the way you're displaying your confidence down in your initial interactions with people until you can get a better grasp as to how they're going to react to the way you present yourself.

 

[Interpol]

People who constantly walk around with a smile plastered on their face can be annoying sometimes. It can often seem like your enthusiasm is fake or forced, regardless of whether or not it really is.

 

[donjan]

Yeah, I have this problem too sometimes. Especially in group communication. There's this girl at work who doesn't get any of the ****y and funny comments I pull off, however, all the other people (mostly women) love it, as they should. It is annoying when I have to explain stuff to her and she can't take a joke; it's not that I care what she thinks of me (she probably thinks I'm a prick), it just screws up the chemistry with a lot of the hot women around.

She's probably just insecure, not that good looking either, but there seems to be no way to fix this issue. These people will always be around and you can't change them. I just establish very clearly that I don't care for her opinion and that any problem she has with me is all her own, and so far that has worked okay.

Hopefuly this is helpful, any suggestions would be appreciated by me too. The work situation is just an example.

 

[Panda 2000]

You can never have too much confidence, you can only show too much of it.