Too much at once?

[DCC]

Hey al, I'm going to a grad party of a girl who friendzoned me three weeks ago tomorrow and have almost did a complete reframe during my nc period. New hair, new style, new attitude, been working out, dating other women (which I've never in my life did before. Always been the exclusive guy) and have gotten a tan since I last saw her.

Should any part of the old me even show up at the party, or should I just go as the completely reframed DCC.

Also, I'm jetting out of the party early for a date. Without being obvious, how should I use that to my advantage? Maybe even throwing a little kino in and saying that id love to stay, but I'm meeting xxx?

 

[K2000kidd]

I'd bring the date to the party and go ice cold on the friendzone girl
unless she approaches then be polite but not too buddy-buddy

 

[ARrocket]

Should any part of the old me even show up at the party, or should I just go as the completely reframed DCC.

I don't really understand this...if you are completely re-framed, why is there any part of the old you left? If you are a different, new and improved person, act like it always. Of course, the things you listed don't mean too much without an ATTITUDE change, so hopefully you have gotten that as well!

As for the date, I think you're on the right track, no need to bring up specifics, just say you have to meet someone at XYZ...maybe throw in the word "she" if you like. But it doesn't really matter, don't stress over it too much.

 

[DCC]

I don't really understand this...if you are completely re-framed, why is there any part of the old you left? If you are a different, new and improved person, act like it always. Of course, the things you listed don't mean too much without an ATTITUDE change, so hopefully you have gotten that as well!

As for the date, I think you're on the right track, no need to bring up specifics, just say you have to meet someone at XYZ...maybe throw in the word "she" if you like. But it doesn't really matter, don't stress over it too much.

I guess I just didn't know if I'm trying to get out of the friendzone, if there was any reason strategically to even give her a gllimpse of the old me. I no longer really want to pursue her except for the novelty of getting out of the fz for the first time in my life. I'm busy enough with my new girls and old hobbies I dropped but picked back up again...just having fun with it now.

 

[f283000]

Can you tell me about the party? Is it a school party is it a party FOR HER by HER that she invited you to?

If it is her party why are you even going? I don't like negative energy around my life me personally I delete women from my past from my life asap. I don't want to see them, talk to them, be around them. It's about moving on and not being held back by negative thoughts of the women that rejected you.

Do understand that women that friendzone you often times want to keep you in that black hole and they do that by including you in their clique of friends. But you don't want to be another girlfriend of hers so you should refuse. Live your own life with your own friends you don't need another friend (her).

 

[qweqwe]

What is the general consensus here about guys and girls being friends? Can a girl and guy be friends after the guy got rejected? Or is that always a big no-no?

Honestly, I don't really understand DCC, what do you want? Do you want to prove something to yourself? Do you not want to be friends anymore? You should write what you want, what your intentions are, because it's pretty hard to tell from your original post.

 

[DCC]

Can you tell me about the party? Is it a school party is it a party FOR HER by HER that she invited you to?

If it is her party why are you even going? I don't like negative energy around my life me personally I delete women from my past from my life asap. I don't want to see them, talk to them, be around them. It's about moving on and not being held back by negative thoughts of the women that rejected you.

Do understand that women that friendzone you often times want to keep you in that black hole and they do that by including you in their clique of friends. But you don't want to be another girlfriend of hers so you should refuse. Live your own life with your own friends you don't need another friend (her).

It is a party by her for her. We'll most likely be friends regardless of dating. She's in an outer part of my social circle. She's in my church small group and our families know each other. Also, while I'm still dating other women and keeping my options open, I want to see where this goes. She just went through some weird family stuff with her ex husband but he is out of state now.

 

[DCC]

Went to grad party. Had fun. Almost ignored her and she really tried to get my attention.

Guy at church told me I should be patient though, that he 'really' thinks her issues are w her ex. His wife is also good friends w her so maybe he knows something I don't.

Either way, as I type this I'm waiting til 6:30 to meet one of my other dates so no harm no foul.

Also, to the people that said going was a bad idea...regardless of what else happened, I met her brother in law, who is in the same career field I'm trying to get into...and we had a good hour discussion on our views of certain issues. We exchanged numbers for networking purposes, and he seemed to sortof take me under his wing.