Too much A$$hole, Too little beta?

[Argyle]

I know the discussions on these boards tend to veer towards DJ's that have moments of AFC'ness... but what about the opposite extreme?

What if, during your interactions with the girl, you get so insecure about your dynamic with her that you get too defensive. To the point that she feels that you rejected her?

At first I thought it was my AFC behavior that turned a girl off to me... but upon talking with her in depth... it was actually too much a$$hole.

I said stupid, uncalibrated things like implying that I was out of her league, kept having her qualify to me in ways that she couldn't... did too much No Contact & hot and cold to the point where she thought I was just playing games.

And I guess, in the end, I was.

Anyone ever had this happen to them? I was so worried about being AFC... that I gamed too hard onto the other extreme, and I didn't even realize it.

What I needed for this one was just maybe a tad bit more beta.

Would you say that situations like these are easier or harder to escape from when compared to AFC LJBF's?

 

[FairShake]

So many guys take a very small part of attraction, the ballsy stand-up-to-a-woman part, and make it the cornerstone of their seduction. This is why for every girl who coos about her bad-to-the-bone boyfriend has 10 stories about assh0les she dropped without a second though.

The key to seduction, game, LIFE is to know when to be an assh0le and when to be a nice guy. FAR more the second by the way.

 

[The Gambler]

I think a mistake many guys make is that they just lump "women" into the same big ball 'o wax.... In other words, they don't read a specific woman's personality type. A woman with an extroverted, princess mentality will probably need a larger dose of a$$hole applied to set the frame, whereas a submissive, introverted woman would probably require much less.

It's kinda like calling in a barrage of heavy artillery to take out one guy in a field who's holding a pistol.

With experience comes the ability to gauge how much is needed, though of course it will never be an exact science... A perfect example of this (and the difference of opinions among forum members) can be found in a classic thread started by Jophil that was recently bumped:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=168190

The bottom line is that women tend to think the same way in a very general sense, but I have never been a fan of general advice. Figure out who she is, as well as how her specific personality type is wired, and take it from there.

The Gambler

 

[zekko]

I believe they call this overgaming. Forget thinking in terms of acting like an @sshole or a beta and be real instead. Just don't act like a weak little b!tch and you'll be all right.

 

[origin138]

Lots of wisdom in Zekko's statement, as always. Honor yourself first and the woman second. If she's pushing boundaries, be firm with her. Call her out on her BS, but don't neg her just for kicks or it can backfire and certainly don't do it out of defensiveness. That's why women sh!t test. Neg her when she deserves it.

It's OK to be a nice guy, but you have to be strong at the same time. Also, if a girl has you on the defensive, you need to turn that around fast or you're done. Worrying about "being AFC" is a form of neediness, and she'll pick up on it as you'll come across as inauthentic/insincere.