Tonight was SO worthless

[someone800]

All this week, I have been pretty excited for tonight. Like it was one of the only things I was looking forward to because there was this fun, casual dance at my high school tonight.
After school, I try to get one of the only 2-3 decent wingmen I know to come and wing, but they don't want to or can't. So, I decide to go alone and just try to maintain social proof with acquaintances at the dance.
Wow. What a bad idea. There were a handful of freshmen there, and even though the music was good, it just wasn't what I was use to. I have been going to this teen night club almost every chance I get and I go to this and I feel like a bottom of the barrel AFC again because I am amongst all my peers. I was walking around a bunch, chatting with some of my acquaintances as they acted interested. I did this just to maintain social proof.
So, after dancing none, I left about 45 minutes into it! I decided I was going to go the club I went to the teen nights for for their 18+ night tonight. This was going to be the very first time-and alone too.
I drove all the long way out there and when I got to the parking lot, I saw there weren't a lot of cars there (compared to teen nights), the car of girls in front of me going there looked drunk, I was alone, and a bunch of other sad excuses I cooked up, so I went back home.

Man...this is sad. I love going to the club on teen nights and dancing with random girls (nothing to loose) and chatting with them/getting their numbers, but tonight was a disaster. I couldn't treat the school dance like a club, I didn't have the gut apparently to go into the real club myself, and I didn't have a wing.

See, usually I am with a buddy of mine who is into the same thing: dancing with chicks, getting their number, etc. But tonight, I wasn't. It sucks. I have so very few friends/acquaintances that actually like to do stuff like that and the ones that do aren't even very good at winging!

Man, I just don't know what to do about this...any suggestions? Thanks.

 

[Groovy]

All this week, I have been pretty excited for tonight. Like it was one of the only things I was looking forward to because there was this fun, casual dance at my high school tonight.

That's nice! But don't except TOO MUCH, if you don't except nothing, you won't be dissapointed! I always go with the mindset that I'm going to make my own fun. The night may be boring, it may be the best ever, bu there's no way in hell I can say that, or count on that! So I just make my own fun, go in just to make fun out of everyone in a friendly way. Not saying that's what you should do, but that's way better and more realible IMO.

After school, I try to get one of the only 2-3 decent wingmen I know to come and wing, but they don't want to or can't. NICE So, I decide to go alone and just try to maintain social proof with acquaintances at the dance. Why? Are you insecure? Don't you love yourself already? Why do you need the approval? You don't go in to get approval, you go in internally validated and for the FUN. You can't expect people to like you, so why try to make them like you?! You have no control what others think... Think about THAT!


Wow. What a bad idea. There were a handful of freshmen there, and even though the music was good, it just wasn't what I was use to. I have been going to this teen night club almost every chance I get and I go to this and I feel like a bottom of the barrel AFC again because I am amongst all my peers. I was walking around a bunch, chatting with some of my acquaintances as they acted interested. I did this just to maintain social proof. lol. "just to maintain social proof"
So, after dancing none, I left about 45 minutes into it! I decided I was going to go the club I went to the teen nights for for their 18+ night tonight. This was going to be the very first time-and alone too.
I drove all the long way out there and when I got to the parking lot, I saw there weren't a lot of cars there (compared to teen nights), the car of girls in front of me going there looked drunk, I was alone, and a bunch of other sad excuses I cooked up, so I went back home. could have been fun, dunno really. It's up to you how to make it fun too. I don't have the picture how that looked, what's not a lot of cars?

Man...this is sad. I love going to the club on teen nights and dancing with random girls (nothing to loose) and chatting with them/getting their numbers, but tonight was a disaster. I couldn't treat the school dance like a club, I didn't have the gut apparently to go into the real club myself, and I didn't have a wing. You must love youself first, then go out! For the fun! You can't expect everyone to like you first, then you can have fun... You have to be comfortable yourself, even if everyone hates you. I never have this problem because I always have friends to go out with, so I don't know what to say to you.

See, usually I am with a buddy of mine who is into the same thing: dancing with chicks, getting their number, etc. But tonight, I wasn't. It sucks. I have so very few friends/acquaintances that actually like to do stuff like that and the ones that do aren't even very good at winging!

Man, I just don't know what to do about this...any suggestions? Thanks.

Dunno, get cooler friends that you like to hang out with? Start doing something more interresting then pick up every night? Drinking, smoking?

Tbh, I just wanted to criticize your mindset a little bit, I don't really have suggestions how to make your nights better. I think it's just the mindset you're struggling with, the enviornment can't be THAT bad all the time! I always like to get out of my comfort zone when I go out, do something wild, at least I'll think about it later and laugh. But hope your nights get better!

 

[Rounder]

I remember a few nights like that at your age. Keep plugging away man. Don't let it discourage you. Be social. Make new friends - find ways into other social circles. When you get around a new group of people, take time to get to know them, ask about them, learn about them. People like to talk about themselves. Get them talking. Practice makes perfect.

Keep in mind that this is high school - it won't last forever. In 6 months you'll never have to see these people again. Take chances with girls at your school now. Don't be afraid of them.

Oh and kudos to you for having the balls to get out by yourself. So what if you don't view it as a success. Reflect on the night. What could you have done differently? What conversation(s) could you have drawn out? Who did you want to talk to but didn't?