to what extent do girls go to to diss you?

[crackhead]

Ive had 2 dates with this girl

First one went well, second one was a movie... and wasn't as good but not that bad.

Both times the girl said "I had a good time" which seems like a good thing

We made plans last sunday to hang out wednesday, and she called every time she said she would (there was no excessive calling on my end at all)

Wednesday she called 3 times to get a hold of me. When I talked to her, she sounded all stressed out and said she had drama going on with her family and other sh1t that she was going through and broke the date off. She seemingly felt bad about breaking the date and sounded pretty sincere, and said "I will call you next week"

Well here it is next week and I have not heard from her.

Her day off is tomorrow, so if she wanted to hang out wednesday, she probably would have called by now.

Im sayin, would a girl really go to that extent to make it sound like she felt bad all apologetic and sh1t to let me know she doesn't want to continue dating? I would hope not, but if so, thats a really lame way to tell me so.

I'm trying to be optimistic, but it's tough..

Before the 3rd date, I was so fired up and positive, ready to just focus on having a good time and not put negative pressure on myself like the second date, but she fVcking cancelled

It is only tuesday, and she did say 'next week' but I think I would have heard from her by now if she wanted to hang out

Wouldn't it be easier for her to just not return my calls and I would just get the point? Much less saying "I don't think this is gonna work out"

I know it's all speculation and time will tell, but has anyone here gotten a diss where the girl went to that much trouble just to tell you some lameass b.s like this?

or do you think she's forreal?

 

[Liz]

Okay listen...

I'm going to try to make this as simple as I can for you.

YOU ARE READING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THIS!

I could tell you that it's possible that she is leaving you high and dry wondering, but who knows.

To my best knowledge of what you are saying she was sorry, and she said she would call. She didn't 'go through all the trouble' just to not call you. Maybe there is just some serious crap going on at her place, and that is where she is focusing her attention. If you are concerned then CALL HER!(yes I know that is a dj taboo), but it doesn't really matter.

So either be patient and wait or call her and get your answers there is no need in whining about a chick not calling you here when nobody will be able to tell you what is going on but her.

Liz

 

[violator]

Agreed. I went throught the same thing with a girl who was having problems. She ended up calling me three weeks later after the smoke had cleared. Sometimes it is not a good idea to deal with women when they are having personal problems at home, especially when you hardly know them.

She probably is having problems that need her attention. The best thing to do is give her space and time to sort things out. If she doesn't call in a couple of days call her to see what is up.

 

[crackhead]

cool, thanks for the responses

good points

i'm gonna call tomorrow

liz, i guess the main point of the post was to see if anyone else had experienced a girl 'going to all that trouble' just to dis you and whining about it went hand in hand

 

[Starman]

heh liz is right you are making a bigger deal out of this than normal..I smell a future oneitus on your plate

why are you so wound up over her calling you? are you less of a man if she doesnt call?

she said she Will CALL you next week..NOT call you to reschedule

 

[crackhead]

violator, just curious, what happened with the girl that called you 3 weeks later?

and you're right starman, i am wound up and making it a bigger deal than i should, i'm afc to the core. i'm trying to learn from it and just chalk it up to experience and be happy regardless of my success with this girl or even have it make me stronger, but it's easier said than done.

i'm confident enough to get a girls number in a social context, but get me one on one on a date and i friggin scare them away. i obviously want nothing more than to change this, but it's difficult to not get discouraged when at times, it seems like this is the trend of my entire life with women practically

anyway, i left a voicemail a little while ago saying something like "just wanted to see how everythings going", so we'l see. but i can't help but think that if she was interested, she would have called by now... it's been a week and before that we talked atleast 5 times in a week

but the initial question remains for anyone else:

has anyone experienced a girl going to this extent to dis you? she said on both dates "i had a good time"

crackhead trying to fight the negativity

 

[davelmn2003]

crackhead, your experience sounds quite like mine. I went out with this girl twice. I'm an AFC. I managed to get her number but I was being too uninteresting a person to talk to. But in both times, we both ended up kissing passionately so I took that as a positive sign.

We set up our third date on our second date. To make the story very short, I forgot to call on Tuesday (the day I said I would call but genuinely forgot) and I got a hold of her friend on Friday (for a Sunday date). From then on, I never was able to reach her on the phone--or even her friend--all busy signals, answering machines (I left two messages at various times---no phone call from her--no e-mail either...)

I'm still left to wonder what the hell happened....

My experience tells me that, give her space. Don't panic if you don't hear from her for a few days. But keep in touch by calling if you don't hear from her after a week...(i know, it's tough watching a potentially fun week goes right by) But you have to control yourself--not to call too often, but do call when you don't hear from her after a while...

 

[violator]

Well, I am no longer seeing that girl. I Had to next her for various reasons (long story).

But, after I gave her space, she called me three weeks later and invited me to go out just as I had written her off. From thereon her IL was pretty high and it seemed that I was in control of the situation.

The moral of the story is that sometimes you have to pullback when things get a little heary in a relationship; and they always do.

Like I said before, wait a couple of days and call her to see how things are with her if she has not already called you.

 

[crackhead]

nah man, i left a voicemail today after not hearing from her for a week... if she doesn't call back that will be the last call i make (i'll see her around eventually)

i just have to move on and detach myself from caring about it, and force it to make me stronger

i just read this super heavy duty pook post for the first time:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16552

damn man, it's like the golden afc bible of truth

for those who haven't read it before, definitely check it out

 

[crackhead]

liz & starman,

i don't think i'm reading too much into this at all. and i will admit that i'm thinking negatively about it

but the bottom line is that she broke off our date and i haven't heard from her in more than a week... thats a tell tale sign of her not being interested

it's hard not to overanalyze what i did on the dates and look for things i did wrong

i don't think i came confident enough on the 2nd date to catch her interest

 

[trevjr]

You know I just went through the same thing except it was 2 weeks and things were progressing great. She was asking me to go places and then, boom, she broke a date, I called twice and left two messages. Luckily I discovered this site and a few others at that time and decided not to call her. I see her once a week in a class and she makes some chitchat and that is it.
The best thing you can do is to get some more numbers and flirt with every girl you see.
The other thing is that it has nothing to do with you. Let her go on her little mind trip while you meet some other babes and get it goin'.
I admit it is hard not to overanalyze what she is thinking, but the more you start thinking about other women, the quicker you will forget about her.
Do you think she is thinking about you now?

 

[crackhead]

who knows

probably not i guess

im gonna see her eventually though...

i'm almost tempted to ask her straight up "did i scare you away with my lack of confidence when we hung out?" "i need to work on my game" and just be real with her, but thats probably some afc type sh1t that will turn her off even more

i guess it would be a better idea to act like i don't care or *ahem, get to the point where i actually don't care and show her that by acting confident and secure when i see her

but it obviously would have been better to have done that when i was on the frucking date with her!

it's just that the way she did it was so lame man, i mean just like don't return a call or something you know? why call me 3 times in one day like you are being considerate and then make up something lame like that

 

[crackhead]

i'm a negative creep i'm a negative creep i'm a negative creep and i'm stoned (or about to be)

ok

im a negative fvck

got a voicemail today from ol' girl

she was like 'im sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you ive been busy blabla drama blabla, but thanks so much for calling to see how i was that was so sweet things are still busy for a while but blabla come and see me

basically i'm a pessimistic freak and this made my friday... knowing that it wasnt a dis and she is still down with me

next time we hang out im gonna be so fvckin pimp and positive UH!

i'm so dope and i don't even know it