To reply or not to reply, that is the question?

[horus]

Made a move on a chic (ex-oneitus) a few months back, got LJBFd, she then got a boyfriend so I completely nexted her and haven't initiated any contact with her since.

She now sends me an e-mail asking "hey stranger, are you there?"

To reply or not not reply, that is the question?

(So far, I haven't replied)

 

[drZaius09]

This works in so many situations... three words:
"Who are you?"

 

[Legend]

who are you hahah

I used that line one time...got great results. Reply that back to her.

 

[Quick]

"who are you?" I like that.

You can reply to her, but your response should be shorter than her email. That leaves the above suggestion or "Yes". Don't get your hopes up in any way, and only talk to her if you have absolutely nothing else to do. Your time would be much better spent finding a new girl that you can be in sexual mode from the start. Whatever this girl wants from you is not something you want or anything that will benefit you. She probably needs time filler while she finds a new boyfriend.

 

[stormwriter]

Horus:
Just pretend the chick wrote this in her email message:

"hey stranger, are you there? I'm having problems with my current boyfriend, and i need someone to talk to about it. Since you are just my friend, i know you will be there to hear my whine about him, cause you are a nice guy..."

You are doing everything right by ignoring her. You are being UNPREDICTABLE, not giving in to her needs. You've already shaken her up by not being TOO AVAILABLE for her, so KEEP IT GOING.

Your happiness is more important than hers, so do whatever you can to stop worrying about this girl. Do you think she's on a message board posting about YOU and what she should be doing to treat you correctly? No way dude, she's out there living her life, looking out for #1, which is HER. So, be selfish and realize she isn't making you feel very good about yourself. I HATE THE FEELING OF BEING INSECURE AND UNSURE OF MYSELF. So, eliminate this chick and you will eliminate the feelings of insecurity and being unsure of yourself, and you will start feeling better.

 

[horus]

I nexted her 3 months ago when I got LJBFd. She's started going out with her boyfriend shortly thereafter.

To make it clear that I won't be a "friend" to her, I completely stopped contacting her and I've moved on and have been seen going out with a bunch of other chics - I think she's aware of this.

I'm just curious why after I made it clear where I stood with her (i.e. not gonna be "friends" with her by stopping contact with her) why she would get in contact with me after a month passed by? But then again, I've moved on and LOVING IT!

 

[stormwriter]

>>I'm just curious why after I made it clear where I stood with her, why she would get in contact with me after a month passed by?

Could be a number of reasons, but don't let your mind jump to the thought that she she suddenly realized she wants to sex you up and be your love slave.

I would take it as a compliment that you had something she liked, and once you pulled it away, she thought she wouldn't miss it, but she did. You were a positive in her life, and it took her some time to realize that her life isn't the same without you in it, and she wants that back.

But remember, it could also be a TEST. Women love to test men. Maybe she wants to get back in touch she could can dust you and get the upper hand! That has happened to me before.

It's probably a way of boosting her self esteem too. "Hmmm, i haven't had much luck with guys in the past few months. I need some attention. Let's see if i can still get Horus to jump through hoops for me!"

But Horus won't, cause he is a DJ, and he knows the grass is greener and the chicks are better on the other side of the fence.

 

[silverdog]

Awesome dude! been in a situation like your, no greater feeling than ignoring a chick that ljbf you, **** her is say!

 

[horus]

Stormwriter - you da man!

That's right brothers, she had her chance, refused the opportunity, and realized what she's missing out now, despite her being with her current boyfriend.

But you know what guys, I'm going to proceed on course: continue to ignore her and be seen with the other babes partying and having the time of our lives. Too bad she can't (and will never) be a part of that.

An advice from a guy I know who's the ultimate DJ said if you want this chic to go crazy, ignore her e-mails and phone calls and let her see you with other women - she'll go nuts!

Thanks guys for the thoughts, all the best!

 

[stormwriter]

Oh, one thing Horus:

Believe me, i just got LJBFriended a month ago from a chick i REALLY liked. This was the best chick i EVER met. I was so attracted to her, and i really liked her personality. I saw the warning signs coming, and knew we weren't going to last, but i stuck with it, hoping she would come around. Well, she finally dumped me and wrote me this email:

"I guess lately Ive been feeling like we are better
suited as friends. I have a great time hanging out
with you - but I get the feeling you are looking for
more (not necessarily with me, but in general) and I
am definitely not. Ive definitely pulled back from
the you/me thing, which was sort of unconscious, but I
think is the right way to go. Youve done the same,
which leads me to believe you are feeling somewhat
similar.

So, wanna try the friend thing?"

I wrote back and said just this:

"I understand."

And never heard back from her. She won't hear back from me.

You know what sucks? Everytime my phone rings, i wonder if it will be her. Even when i hear a car drive by, i wonder if its her coming to see me. I scan my email EVERY MORNING for her name, but alas, it never arrives.

It never will.

That sucks, dude.

It hurts, but i was terribly confused and hurt that things were going downhill while i was with her. I guess our ending it was for the best. Sure, i could still be her "friend" but i think it would hurt more for me, cause i would still have feelings for her, and hope for a future with her. This is the first time i've ever turned my back on someone i really liked. It's like a test for me. I actually signed up for therapy again, the day after she dumped me. It felt like a horse kicked me in the balls.
I went to therapy, VERY VERY depressed, but i actually only needed three sessions, (two weeks total) and i was pretty much over it. (ok, not over it, cause i still think about her.)

i do that stupid thing people do: "If she calls me, and says this, i will say this in response..." and think of all these stupid hypothetical situations that WONT EVER HAPPEN. Ugh.

Dating is TOUGH, man. It SUCKS sometimes.

 

[Quick]

Hey stormwriter. Thanks for sharing and glad to see you on this board. Your first nine posts have been solid gold.

 

[horus]

Damn stormwriter, that was deep - I feel your pain bro. By walking away without looking back shows you are one strong individual and emotional strength (not AFC) will always be an admired trait by women. Although you didn't get what you wanted at the end, you definitely became a stronger person and this trait has now become imbedded in you when you meet the next one. You have gained, not lost my man.

 

[gr8one]

Yeah,... If you already told her that you didn't want to be just friends, then stick to your guns...

If you ignore her enough, either she'll go away or go out of her way to see you...lol

Move on.

 

[Starman]

haha gotten kicked in the balls by a horse..

Great job guys..although..I think "Who is this" is trying to open up the line of communications again..and tempt you into seeking more self gratifying ego strokes/bread crumbs by said oneitus..

 

[icehot]

another nice short response i've used is:

"living la vida loca"

and then never respond to her again

-iceH

 

[horus]

It's amazing how insecure girls go nuts when you ignore them.
This week she sends me another e-mail saying "hello, anyone there" and I still ignored her reply. Then this morning, she sends me a text message saying "are you in town? I sent you a couple e-mails..." She's still trying to get in contact with me, even though she has a boyfriend.

This is also a fun, mind game test on my part to see whether she digs me or not. If I run into her in person, she'll either act normal as if my ignoring her didn't affect her or she'll blow up and get emotional on me - the latter meaning that I got to her!

 

[silverdog]

hehehe, great to hear about that here is a cold beer for you