to persue her or just give it up

[ken299]

i met this gorgous filipina online and heres the skinny-we went out for a couple a weeks and she really seemed hot on me-we had been intimate from day 1 and for 4 weeks. in the second week when we were doin the deed, i slipped and said i loved her. things went down hill. she wouldnt talk to me for 3 weeks. shes damaged goods, been cheated on by ex husband of 21 yrs and ex boyfriend of 6 mo.s before i got to her. im the 3rd man shes only had sex with. still really like her alot, and now back talking. going out to lunch on 5/12/09. do i have a shot keeeping her? she says im not the one. she didnt think this way before the 'L' word slipped out. DUDES, SHE'S A REAL DISH! AND HAS A GREAT PERSONALITY, BUT MAYBE A LIL SPOILED. any advice to keep her when we go to lunch, or should i just forget it and just be friends with her?
TYIA!
ken299

 

[edger]

Your situation doesn't sound good. Since you already have plans to go to lunch with her, see what happens. I seriously doubt you'll be f*cking her again, because you told her "you love her", which had obviously pushed her away to where she ignored you for a few weeks. Not only that, but she also told you, "you're not the one". Seems like she lost interest in you sexually and on that emotionally bonding level.

 

[Kevin Feng]

This type of girl seems like a bit of a lost cause.

I'm telling you right now, especially if you're looking for an LTR, girls with a lot of baggage are lot of trouble. They will bring drama into your life like no ones business.

Here's the bottom line, all women are crazy to some extent when you start dating them, it's their way of **** testing you and making sure you're the real deal.

For this girl though, being cheated on with a 21 year LTR just seems like too much to deal with.

Really ask yourself if you're wiling to put up with it.

-Kevin

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Ken,
Philipino Women in general are good value,very loyal,submissive and obliging,if a tad mercenary and money oriented,also usually pretty dumb....In general they don't do it as easily as your girl,as they are very good Catholics....No your girl is not a quality Woman,she is a Bar Girl and more Street Wise than you...She is either playing games or dating someone else believe me....Sorry Ken best give her the Flick.

 

[decades]

I just don't think she believes you. I would get down on you Knees after lunch next week and this time make it clear to this prize: I love you with all my heart and want to spend eternity worshiping the very ground you walk on. I really think this will seal the deal for yah.

 

[jophil28]

There are woman from all nationalities who approach ,and play, the dating game like a chess game. They use flirting, and then sex as tactical 'moves' to maneuver the guy onto the just the right square . She is loving the power and control that she feels.
When a guy says "I love you " to a woman like that, it is 'checkmate' to her and so it is 'game over'.
So its the Friendzone for him while she starts the game over with a new guy .

 

[NewMan]

goto lunch - play it cool and relaxed. Don';t make it serious.

The topic of women will come up - mention casually that you are dating other women... nothing like that to get her claws out.

Most important point is to realize that, whilst fvcking her would be good - you wouldnb't care one way or the other.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

You are **** struck. Your lust is getting the better of you.

 

[speed dawg]

It doesn't seem like you have a choice in the matter, pal.

 

[Mr. Me]

Hey, if you really think she's "damaged goods", then why are you making a lunch date with her and bothering asking for advice on how to proceed and recover from your screwing it up and calling her a "real dish" with a "great personality"? In caps, even. It really sounds more like you're calling her damaged goods to make yourself feel better about being passed on by her.

I think what occurred in this case is that by telling her you love her puts a factor into her head: should she continue to see you and thus encourage this development of a love bond. That means she now has to decide whether or not she wants something more permanent with you at this juncture - the problem is she's not on the same page interest wise so early on... and so she has to say no. That's what "You're not the One" meant. Now, had you held off, cultivated her interest in you, had that interest raised up, then somewhere around the second month of dating or so she'd be asking you for a relationship, odds are. You can't press for one before they want it.

IF she keeps the date with you and doesn't flake, then go slow and DON'T talk about relationships or love or your feelings, just be cool and have fun. Not that I believe you can undo the impression you already made.

Be friends with her? No. You want her, how can you be friends with someone you want? You're going to listen to her tell you about her dates? Be real. Find more women.